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I envy people who are good at communicating at work and in private.
In this article, we will introduce tips for training your communication skills.
What is communication ability?
The etymology of communication is the Latin word " communis " which means "shared, common".
Communication is " information sharing and communication with humans ", and communication ability is the ability to do so smoothly.
Communication is "two-way"
When trying to improve communication skills, people tend to be conscious of "how to communicate well to the other party".
However, the most important thing when thinking about communication is that it is " two-way ."
Let's not only communicate to the other party, but also have a viewpoint of "how to receive information from the other party well (accurately)".
It does not mean that "diplomatic = high communicative competence"
People with an introverted personality or a shy person may look at a diplomatic person and think that they have high communication skills and are envious.
However, it does not necessarily mean that "diplomatic = high communication skills".
Communication is "two-way", so even if it is diplomatic, if you talk unilaterally without listening to the other person's story, or if you talk while ignoring the other person's emotions and situations, communication The ability is not high.
Even if you have an introverted personality, there are many people who have high skills to detect the feelings of the other person and are good at catching words.
Characteristics of people with high communication skills
There is a " ping-pong rule " in a study that examines the characteristics of people with high communication skills .
In a 1: 1 conversation, if you talk to each other about 40 to 60% of the time, the conversation will bounce (for example, "self: partner = 4: 6", "self: partner = 5: 5", etc.).
If the time you speak exceeds 60%, the other person will think that you will not listen to your story, and if it is less than 40%, you will feel that you are not interested in your story or speak. You may find it burdensome.
Therefore, this just right balance will fit in the frame of about 40-60% .
If you look back on your conversation and feel that the current situation is a little unbalanced, try incorporating ping-pong rules into your conversation, keeping in mind that communication is "two-way."
Means of communication
The communication, large 2 one of the means " language ", " non-language There is".
language
Language is the word itself.
We translate information such as "thoughts," "values," and "knowledge" in our heads into words, and we interact with each other.
Non-language
Eye movements and facial expressions, voice tones, gestures, etc.
It is these non-verbal areas that are important in capturing the "emotions" of the other person and the "real thoughts" hidden behind the words.
Non-verbal communication is also important
When trying to improve communication skills, people tend to be more conscious of improving their language skills, such as "how to speak" and "what to speak".
However, non-verbal areas are also very important.
There is an experiment on nonverbal communication called "Mehrabian's Law".
This study found that most of the information comes from non-verbal areas (visual, auditory) when reading the emotions of the other person .
Four skills that make up communication skills and how to train
Communication is "mutual", and given that there are two means (linguistic and non-verbal), communication skills can be broken down into four skills.
Language abilities are important for " telling and receiving accurately ", and non-verbal abilities are important for " building trust ".
Ideally, you should prioritize training from skills that you are not good at or lack, and as a result, all skills are in a well-balanced state.
Here are some tips for training each skill.
① "Power to convey" what you want to say
It is the ability to convey what you want to say to the other person in an easy-to-understand manner .
This article explains in detail how to train, so please refer to it.
(▼ How to improve verbalization ability)
Related article
Break away from "not transmitted"! Points for training verbalization abilityVerbalization ability is "the ability to translate what you think in your head into words and convey it in expressions that the other person can easily understand." I will show you how to improve it.
② "Ability to listen" to the other party's words
In order to train your listening ability, it is important to have an attitude and attitude of "listening to what the other person wants to convey to the end ."
Some people lack the ability to listen, and when they see the development of the other person's story, they start talking ahead of time, or interrupt the conversation and ask questions.
Also, some people quickly deny the other person's words, but let's stop these things.
When a person feels that he / she cannot hear his / her story, he / she will accept it if he / she is not respected.
A relationship of trust is built up of people who respect each other .
In addition, "listening ability" is also the ability to understand what the other person wants to convey.
If you cannot understand the other person's words alone, ask questions or ask "Do you agree with this kind of understanding?" To supplement the information and proceed with the understanding.
③ "Power to convey" non-language
Non-languages include eye movements and facial expressions, voice tones, and gestures.
You also associated with the "power to listen to the language," but, in order to create the atmosphere in which the other party is easy to talk to, communication is important in the non-language will be .
In order to tell the other person that you are listening firmly, turn your body and eyes toward the other person, nod, hit a slap, and react with facial expressions.
④ "Ability to read non-verbal"
The ability to read non-verbal communication is important in capturing the emotions of the other person and the true feelings hidden behind the words.
For example, in an easy-to-understand example, if the other person expresses gratitude but his facial expression is dark, it can be inferred that there is something else he really wants to do.
It is an important skill for building a relationship of trust because people trust people who react closely to their feelings and who sympathize with them.
(Some people have high pride and don't like to realize their true intentions, so it's important to pretend to be unnoticed in that case.)
In order to train your reading ability, " interesting / interested in the other person ", " observing the other person ", and " stocking information " are the basics.
Originally, the ability to read is the ability that humans instinctively have.
People who often rely on language for their usual communication and those who spend time communicating without being interested in the other person will "remember" depending on the number of places, so be interested in the other person and observe it on a daily basis. Please try to make it a habit.
Then, at the same time as observing, let's stock the information obtained in non-language.
The ups and downs of emotions and how much they appear on the surface vary from person to person, so in the previous example of "language and facial expression do not match", it is possible that some people are simply tired or ill. because, it is dangerous to the template of all is .
At the same time, by observing the words and actions used by the other party , you can see the values and axes, so please stock that information as well.
From the stock of information such as individual language / non-verbal communication and behavior patterns, you can notice "that?" When you feel a change or a deviation from the person's values in conversation with the other person. Become.
Also, if you repeat this analysis, when you meet a person with a similar pattern, it will be easier for the person you meet for the first time to understand your true intentions.
Summary
In order to improve communication skills, it is necessary to train four skills in a well-balanced manner in the "linguistic" and "non-verbal" areas.
It will be refined by practice, so please be aware of it in your daily communication.
very beautiful