This is the countinuation of the last article.
So it's time for my operation, on the operating room, I suddenly felt anxious and maybe nervous that made me hard to breathe.
I was like " I need water, I can't breathe, water please,I need to drink." But if you are going to a Ceasarian Operation, you are not allowed to drink water, so the doctor and nurses trying to calm me down, and I suddenly black out. When I opened my eyes, it was dark and there is like one light to the room, and I suddenly felt like there is something in my mouth, I suddenly trying to remove it, and I hear voices "no, don't take it off, relax... you need to calm down" and I suddenly saw my OB and I started to calm down. I was in a operating room, I guess, there's a few nurses around my bed, and I felt cold down there. I hear my OB says thet, they ate just putting some ice because they are stopping the bleeding, she is calm while doing it, but I can hear the door open and shut, it seems like they are getting more and more ice.
I'm starting to feel weak, but nurses keep talking to me, I can't answer properly because of the tube in my mouth, the my OB says "don't sleep yet, okay?"Then she keep asking me some random things and I though "shit, it's like in the movie, if I sleep will I die?" I tried so hard to fight back, I keep telling myself "you cannot sleep".
Then this scary me, the Doctor say, "what if we start praying," the Doctor my Ob start prating together with the nurses, so I start praying as well, but I can't help it, I am really really sleepy I felt like I am so drained and I suddenly close my eyes.
When I woke up, there is still tube on my mouth, there us a lot of machine and I guess 4 dextrose was prick on me, then the nurse say, "are you okay now? You are in the ICU." "look at that side" there is a mirror window, and on the other side my bofriend and my mom smiling back at me, I felt relieve then I go back to sleep.
I was in the ICU for 3 days, I was praying that I could see my baby already, I even ask the nurse to suction me as many as I can so they can remove already the tube, because of all the phlegm that needs to be removed.
And after 3 days, 1 moved to a normal room and then at night I was able to see my baby from the infirmary. I couldn't explain the feeling, the things I go through, It is all worth it when I see and carry her.
So this is how to be a Mother, I know it is just a beginning, but what we've been through will always be my strenght.
You will always be my strenght my princess.
