Your Fat,
You walk weird,
You are not pretty,
Are you stupid?
Phrases I always heard when I was young...
It hurts... and as growing up, it makes my confidence drop.But as soon as I learned to embrace these flaws, I manage to ignore them.
I know I'm fat, I walked weird in your eyes because I have knock-kneed so I look like a duck sometimes when I walk. I may not be pretty or smart in your standard... but honestly SO WHAT?
Honestly growing up, when other kids calling me names I really don't care. I ignore them, because what they are saying is either true or not.
But I fight back when I need to, because this kind of people, they can't handle when you're the one pointing they're flaws. I was like yeah I know I'm fat, you don't need to tell me cause I can see it everyday but can you see that you're this kind of person?
I can brush it off, because my mindset was "so what" if I didn't pass on your standard, I am fine just being me. As long as I don't hurt anyone or I myself doesn't see me as low as you see me, I don't care.
But it hit me hard when I was in highschool, it really made me questioned myself..
That time most of my friends, they have suitors or boyfriend... I had 1 as well, but he courted me cause he found out I like him, and my friend that he likes doesn't like him... So, for him to get close to my friend that he truly likes, he asked me out. And all of these I just found out, after a month of officially going out, he broke up with me.. and guess why? Because my friend broke up with his boyfriend, and my boyfriend want to grab his chance to pursue her so he dumped me. What hurt the most is, he honestly told me about the reason why he dated and dumped me.
I was angry, like I want to cry because that would be my first heartaches but there's just no tears. He made my confidence drop, I see myself so low.. and I guess my mom notice it, so she brings me to the salon. Before I had these frizzy hair like pineapple hairstyle...so, it was straightened up. My whole summer vacation I try to loose some weight aswell.
It was the next year school year, my friends they were surprise of my new look. I loose some weight, my hair is long and straight and I myself feel pretty. I learn to take care more of myself.
I am not saying that for you to be love or accepted you need to be pretty or slim, I'm just encouraging you, that maybe what you need is self love. Because I don't care that much what people say, I didn't see that I took myself for granted.
Trying to be pretty or healthy doesn't always mean,it's for other peoples eyes... first you need to accept your flaws,for you not to be affected by others. If that flaws can be change, like being over weight, you can loose some weight, and it also benefits your health aswell. But if that flaw are hardly to be change, like the way I walk, even hoe hard I try to walk straight...there will still be a time, people may see me walk like a duck... they tease me, but hey.. so what.. I was born like this, I cannot do anything about it,so why bother,right?
Cheer up,
Chin up..
You are gorgeous, remember that...
my boyfriend now, says;
"what he love about me, is how I always makes him laugh."
Good things I have sense of humor because this pandemic brings back all my fats for some reason... and now it's not just pineapple hairstyle, it's more likely simba the lion king... can't really go to salon.. so, luckily my humor is what he lovesš¤£Thank you my loveā¤
