Family means responsibilities and duties and with it comes the struggle to solve various problems. Some of them struggle to solve various family problems, some of them give up with a failed mindset like a loser in the battle of life, some of them choose the path of suicide due to extreme sadness. Experienced members of the ISKCON Household Vision Team are advising on some of the family problems and their solutions. Those who are working on these issues all over the world based on Vedic ideology. All these suggestions of theirs will be continuously published in Chaitanya Sandesh. So that your family becomes a happy family.
This time the topic: When the child is the cause of pain
It is very difficult for parents to control their children. When the child is disobedient and chaotic, the child becomes a cause of pain. But here are 5 tips or advice on what the role of parents can be in this case-
Archana Siddhi Dasi
1. Use peace / non-violence discipline:
Discipline teaches and only hits peace. You can teach our children when they need to be properly nurtured. Beating children is rarely positive. Rather, it teaches them that when they encounter a problem, it is advisable to hit the opponent. In this case, I was talking about two types of results. It can also be called a strategy. There are two types of strategies: 1) natural and 2) logical.
A) Natural Consequences: Young children often disobey their parents and act according to their own free will. They do not realize that doing so will lead to bad results for them. Some examples of this are: 1) If the child is asked to wear warm clothes in cold weather, if he is allowed to feel it, then he will automatically ask for warm clothes. In this case it is the natural result. That is, he took it naturally.
Many times the child does not want to do the homework given by the teacher. In this situation, if he does not listen to his parents, if he is left in the hands of the teacher, he will do his homework normally, even if it is because of the teacher. (In this case, the teachers are able to take good care of the parents for homework). This condition is a natural consequence.
B) Logical Consequences: If the child breaks something in the household, a strategy can be introduced to give its roots according to its age. If the children paint on the walls of the house, they can clean the walls themselves. These are some logical consequences or effects without being beaten. In this way children can learn to correct their behavior and their bad choices.
2. Value children's feelings:
Sometimes the child expresses negative feelings and says that by doing so he does not get the real value of his previous feelings. If feelings from children are constantly ignored or ignored, they lose confidence in their abilities. Which is why children cannot discover themselves. It will be helpful for the child if their feelings are taken seriously or given priority. You can either find out what thoughts are working behind their backs.
3. Encouragement and praise not criticism:
One study found that most children pay more attention to negative words and criticism than to the encouragement and praise of their parents. Due to the inexperience of the parents, the child becomes chaotic as a result of this type of activity. At that time words like 'don't do', 'stop' etc. were applied to them. But that too is often ineffective.
In this case, children often have to be praised for the success of any small work. You played so well, it was very good… .. etc. This will give the children a positive idea about themselves and they will become very positive at some point.
4. Learn about your child's strengths and weaknesses:
Some parents identify a child's weakness as a major problem and become anxious. But they have some ability. They should be searched and efforts should be made to provide them with necessary assistance or contribution. For example: If your child is good at singing, look at what needs to be done to develop his talent. If the child's qualities or abilities are well developed, there will be no worries. What can teachers and older people do to help them find their strengths and abilities?
5. Get to know your child's teachers and friends: Teachers spend more time with your child than parents. They can give helpful advice by understanding the nature of your child. So keep in regular contact with teachers. Which will also give teachers a better idea of how much you care for your child.
If you have good communication with your child's friends, they can also give good information about your child. So that it will be easier for you to understand your child. By doing this you can also get an idea about his company and take some action for the worse. So that your child grows up beautifully.
Follow the tips above. You will see that your beloved child will no longer be a cause of pain for you. If so, you are responsible for it. Tips: The most important thing is to involve your child in as many black-minded activities as possible.