Before I start writing about the subject matter I will like to greet you all beautiful people of read.cash. I intended writing this article earlier in the morning but circumstances didn't permit. When I logged into read.cash I saw that I had three subscribers! To say that I am happy is an understatement. Thank you all!!
I am sorry I was able to write an article yesterday.
Now back to the topic.
The ways in which human beings are diversified are too many to mention. From races, culture, simple interests, core values and general way of life. When it comes to humans one never seems to get enough. You keep encountering different types of people. Some you classify as weird, some cocky, intelligent, proud, or even stupid. A combination of two or more of strong human characters make up our beliefs, how we perceive ourselves and in extension, who we are.
In society, it is easy to classify characters or behaviours as either good or bad. Although what is seen as good in Europe might be seen as bad in Africa, that doesn't take away the universal law of Good and Bad.
It is known that there are behaviours that are seen as good in almost everywhere. Gestures like generosity, kindness, philanthropy, honesty, compassion and so on are seen as good in almost all places, if not all. These characters are usually acquired at a stage in life. When these characters are acquired at a very early age in life and put into practice, they get ingrained and integrated into a person's subconscious mind that it is hard to get rid go them in later life, well that's to their advantage isn't it?
Same things go with generally bad behaviours like greed, envy, backbiting, wickedness, narcissism. These characters when acquired at a very young age can be hard to do away with.
Before I go any further, allow me to tell you what prompted me to write this article:
I have a close male friend I have know since childhood. We shall call him Asif. Asif isguy is a good guy,handsome, well-built and generous. However there's a trait that, despite being fully aware of it Asif finds it extremely difficult to do away with it. If it were something like lies, stealing or porn addiction which can be solved relatively easily than what he is suffering from, it would have been better. Despite these good traits that Asif possess, he is a full-blown narcissist.
Who is a narcissist?
According to Wikipedia :
A narcissist is a person who has an inflated sense of self-importance and thinks the whole world revolves around them.
In extension, these people can have tons of loads of arrogance associated with them and think they deserve it all. If something bad happens in which they are at fault, it must be you who caused it. If something good happens it is as a result of their efforts. Selfishness, lack of empathy are also associated with such people.
[Inhales deeply], for people who have had one or two encounters with narcissistic fellows, especially women, you know what it is like to be in the throes of a narcissist. You feel like the very life in you is being sucked out gently and your soul is getting paralysed so you just wait until you die(relationships with narcissists aren't easy to get out of).
Asif and I school in the same university. Although Asif studies Mechanical Engineering while I study Medicine and Surgery which makes us apart as we are in different sites of the school, we still make time for each other where we discuss about school challenges and general stuff about life. Asif has been in many relationships with women and they all end up the same way due to this trait of inflated ego and self-grandiosity.
To cut it short, Asif has Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) and it is affecting how he percives himself and others and his relationship with people.
Now, remember I talked about influences earlier? In any trait we possess, there are influences or causes. It could be as a result of a childhood experience, a resolution to change, or the surroundings we live in and the type of the people we associate with. Narcissism isn't a trait that comes on its own. In the case of Asif, it was as a result of childhood experiences(according to him) . His mother broke up with his father when he was but a boy.
His father used to physically abuse his mother in his presence and he would be the one to get the whip with which his mom would be beaten!
If you're wondering how that had an effect on his being narcissist, don't ask cause I too have no idea, but like most childhood traumas, we only recall snippets of events in most cases. It is hard to recall what exactly they were but we are so sure that they had an effect on who we are today as they are already ingrained in our subconscious.
As a friend with whom he shares things and with a willingness to be of help, I advised Asif to seek therapy. He got a therapist and we started noticing changes in behaviour. However ahuis time went on, he got back to his old self. I asked him why? HIS RESPONSE?
"Whenever I visit the therapist I start remebering things and I have feelings that an integral part of me with I can do without is being taken away".
[Sighs] traits acquired very early in life are like engravings on a rock and are hard to erase. Not only narcissism but other undesirable traits...same goes for desirable ones.
At the end of these article I would like to thank @Niazi420mylatestsupporter
So dear readers, can these type of people be helped? Do you know anyway they can be helped? Can Asif be helped?
If you have any suggestions feel free to type it in the comment section.
Lots of love and thank you very much for reading. Do not forget to like and subscribe. :)
Yours truly,
Lead image from unsplash images.
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I feel bad about Asif, that was so sad. Childhood moments should be fun, and yeah like my cousin, they are affected on what they see and hear.