We often find quick and straightforward ideas from the media about what to try to to for our special someone. But when it involves bigger decisions like who to marry, where can we search for advice? I don’t have a fast fix answer but I even have a story of how I met my wife and therefore the lesson I learned through it. My hope is that what I learned are going to be of help to you which even when our plans don’t compute the way we would like , there could also be a far better plan happening behind the scenes.
Several years ago, I met Valerie at a university club meeting. She immediately caught my eye. She was caring, considerate, good-looking, and had a deep love for God. Our paths didn't cross often but in my final year we were on an equivalent student leadership team. Perfect! i might be ready to get to understand her more then sweep her off her feet, right? Well, things didn’t go as planned.
Coffee?
One day, I saw her within the library and my heart started racing. We talked briefly but I knew there was something more I had to try to to . i used to be very nervous but I finally got the words out, “Oh…I was also wondering…would you wish to grab coffee sometime?” After a flash of thinking, she agreed.
I leaped for joy inside! Done deal, right? Wrong. I didn't expect what came next.
We went out for coffee that Saturday night. It went okay. At the top of the night as I dropped her off, she told me she had an honest time but would rather not leave again. Whoa! This wasn't how the plan was alleged to go. I continued to point out interest. Three months later, I asked her out again over Facebook (bad idea). She said she would really like to speak . No! I knew what that meant.
We met up, made chitchat for awhile, then she said, “I value you as a lover , but I don’t see you as quite that.” Ouch. I didn’t know what to mention . I knew it had been finished. She had made up her mind. I needed to maneuver on. Could any good begin of this? This disappointment forced me to think more seriously about questions i used to be previously ignoring: “Where am I placing my identity?” “What are God’s purposes for my life?”
Then came a surprise.
The news
Three months later, my friend Nate approached me and said, “I have some information that would be useful to you.” i used to be shocked to listen to that Nate acknowledged (through a three-person grapevine) that Valerie now liked me. What! How could that be? I couldn’t believe it. There was just one thing to try to to now: attend the source.
The next day I asked Valerie if she would really like to play squash. She said yes. After squash, we grabbed a drink at Tim Horton’s and that i said, “So I even have an issue . I remember last time we talked months ago you said you didn’t see anything between us. Has anything changed?” She paused, looked down, then smiled at me and said, “Yes.” once I asked her what changed, she said that when i ended trying to impress her, she need to know who i actually was. Still stunned, I asked her on another date and two years later we got married!
Why?
What would have happened if everything figured out the primary time? i might are proud and conceited in my efforts. However, by being rejected twice, i used to be forced to ascertain that there was a far better plan being figured out within the background by God in his greater wisdom. it had been an idea to humble me and force me to question where i used to be really placing my identity–in Valerie or within the greater love Jesus was offering me.
I love being married to Valerie. But Jesus proved to be a greater refuge on behalf of me during that point of rejection and he's still a greater refuge than Val can ever be on behalf of me . His promise to me during that period of rejection was incomparably precious to me:
Set your mind on things above, not on the items that are on earth. For you've got died and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is our life, is revealed, then you furthermore may are going to be revealed with Him in glory.
Colossians 3:2-4
Whatever stage you're at during a relationship, I encourage you to think about the restrictions of your plans are a chance to ascertain the limitless wisdom of God’s plans.