My life story

.. And here today I wonder I ask myself and you if anyone had a sabur to read this story; Where did I sin? !! Who did I hurt? !! And many insult me ​​all my life .. I'm guilty ... maybe I'm really guilty that I defended myself with silence and forgiveness, so once I speak the truth that hurts terribly, then they are all victims as always as at the beginning of the story ...

I was thirteen years old when the Muslim brothers from the city came to our village to teach us the faith, because in our village the imam came only for the mosque ... So I elhamdulillah together with my friends got to know Islam and its regulations and I was "Muslim" but by name ... May Allah Almighty reward them for opening the way to faith in my heart and clearing my mind, taking off one veil of blindness from the blind ... I progressed the most and was the best elhamdulillah ... Once we took us to a brother who sunbathed his son to make his day better with the ilahi and the Qur'an ... But unfortunately, in a short time, our beautiful fellowship and teaching of Islam ended because they expelled our muals because, as they say, they were Wahhabis. Since that day, my life story has become more and more tumultuous and I have become marked ... In my village, although it is difficult for me to say faith and belief, there is too little correct and Islam is practiced only by old women with mahram and dimiji, and those a little younger with halva on selected days , and we are all "Muslims". On the day when we returned home and we were nicely dressed in hijab from Sarajevo, the guys came from the faculty who were the first and so far the only ones to decide to enroll in the faculty of Islamic sciences. is three and that day I looked my destiny in the eye for the first time. They left the village in ignorance and infidelity, it was very difficult for them to cope with their families to study such a college, but Allah so willed His will, so they succeeded ... and they didn't know that we were from the same village, when they found out they couldn't believe it and they were overjoyed because Islam woke up in our country too ... There was a guy with them who stared at me then I didn't even know yet ... Later he started asking about me, he was attracted by the fact that we had a hijab and went to the mekteb, he was 24 years old, and I was fourteen ... During the time he stayed at home during the holidays, he told many about me and that he I like it, I didn't want to get married because I was young, and although in our village girls usually get married as soon as they finish primary school, now after ten years that thinking has changed a bit, so Elhamdulillah has sisters who continue their education ... He was persistent and he kept talking to my friends about me, one of me I stopped on the street for days, I was busy bringing cold water from a neighbor's well..He told me that he liked me, that he wanted such a girl for a wife.

married Aisa at the age of nine and he was much older than her ... I started thinking about him, he was constantly in front of my eyes but I still haven't given an answer if I want to be with him ... One day I started writing a love composition and as he approached the end of the paper I started to address him and wrote to him and Allah knows that when I took the pencil in my hands I did not have that intention..I finished that letter and through the hall when I was leaving the school I told Malik his uncle that that letter for Salih ... He took it and put it in his quran ... It was a cold Ramadan then, we went to the terawiyah in the evening and skated on the icy streets ... When we were returning from the terawiyah near my house, Salih came across He took my hand and pulled me to him and suddenly kissed me. He said that my letter gave him the green light, so he did so. I angrily went inside and did not leave the bathroom for an hour, I cried a lot and I was angry and myself and him for doing that ... I couldn't get him out of ch ave was always on my mind ... He was home for a short time, he had to go to Sarajevo again..Since that day we kept in touch by letters and sometimes by phone calls ... He said that he loved me and wanted to marry me, from the day in the day he became more and more dear to me, until he won my heart and there was only him for me. My parents didn't know anything, I was afraid to tell them because our families were very divided. My mother's father, and Salihov my grandfather (his grandmother's father) were very quarrelsome, even his grandfather stabbed my grandfather with a knife and he died in prison from that wound. And not only that, but my grandmother was also friends with his uncles, so they quarreled. were very quarrelsome with Salih's family..But later our love began to break down all barriers and obstacles, we didn't care what people thought ... I counted the days until his arrival, thought about him, dreamed, dreamed and dedicated a million songs to him. Word spread through the village about our relationship and the news reached my parents. They were very angry with me and even beat me, shouted and quarreled with me, and I lied to them, saying that what they had heard was a lie. I stole from him. she ran away from home alone because all the friends were afraid of my mother to go with me. We couldn't go on like that, everyone was talking about us and Salih told me to tell my father that he would come to him to ask for my hand ... I was overjoyed but I was also very afraid of how to tell him when I lied to him until yesterday that I had nothing to do with him ... When I told my father he couldn't believe what I was saying, tears came to his eyes ... He refused to answer but his mother and aunt persuaded him to agree and accept Salih. He came to my house one evening and talked to my father, my father agreed and we got engaged. The beginning of our engagement was like in a fairy tale, only the two of us existed, we loved each other a lot, we agreed, we respected each other ... Only on this Everything passes so slowly, people with various stories disturbed our peace. My mother is a person with a good heart, she is just naive and believes everything she is told, and his family was known for their anger, temperament and the whole environment knows about it. .So that day by day our parents made our lives more and more bitter with various stories. My parents were hurt that the Salihs did not want our engagement to be celebrated the way everyone in our village does, so that was the first case why they we were all gossiped about and told my mother that her beautiful daughter was separated from the village by others ... They talked about me that I was crazy and that Salih wanted to separate me from this world and his family with the books he gives me to read. Mine could not stand what people were telling them. One evening they came to Salih's parents in a friendly manner and I was there to ask them in a calm conversation why they were not preparing my wedding costume and other things as is the custom in our village. the father was a very, very calm and quiet person, but that evening he was attacked by Salih's father for just asking - why? He got to his feet and shouted loudly at my father that I was their slave, that they would do whatever they wanted with me and that I would have to wear a hijab by force. That night I will not forget while I was alive nor how I felt motionless. I thought as if my whole world had collapsed. My father was deeply hurt, they said many ugly words to each other, and mine ordered me to return home immediately. They wanted their favorite, decorated as the best in school, to consider me the most beautiful as what a parent each thinks for their child

she lives a harmonious and pleasant life and not to be marked in the village because she is deprived of many things that other girls enjoy ... That was the beginning of a very sad period of my life, locked in the house I neither ate nor drank only abluted and worshiped. They didn't let Salih in the house, they said they would end the engagement, one night when my father saw Salih running under my window, he ran after him far away and he went to the mosque and somehow hid there ... My so calm father who he doesn't even know that he was screaming, then out of anger and his hurt pride he became a completely different person. Everyone kept me from going with Salih but they didn't know that I kept in touch with him through my cousin, she came to visit me I wrote a letter and she sent it to him when she went to school. And so it lasted for several days under house arrest, but my father still had to go to work. On the day when Vahid's cousin came, my mother noticed that something was happening. to keep something secret..Salih asked me for my passport to go to Sarajevo together, I sent it to him..Mother went after Vahid to see where she was going before school because she was already starting to suspect, and Salih came to my street on another street home before mom.With me was my aunt my mother's sister who in I respect and love very much, she was the only one who wanted me to stay with Salih and let me go with him. And so that day at half past nine in the morning on May 14, 2003, I became Salih's wife. When mine found out that I had left home and that I was with him, it was the biggest blow in their lives, but I later found out that they never they wanted to separate me from Salih but only to prove to his family that they are my parents and that they must respect me more. They sent my younger sister to pick me up and told her to return home and get married properly, but I did not return. I got married at the age of fourteen and a half, I was still an immature girl, I had to be the wife of a daughter-in-law and a housewife. And no, I never went to Sarajevo and I still dream of him today and I want inshAllah to step on his cobblestones one day. from Salih when he described that City to me ... I did not leave because they persuaded Salih that my father would report him because I was a minor and that he would put him in prison. I loved Saliha very much and he loved me but he was often absent because of college and did not come home for months. He left me with his parents who hated me a lot since the evening when my father came to them. I was an incompetent girl for them every day was a new quarrel, they mistreated me because of various little things ... I didn't go to my parents for nine months, they didn't let them go to me and they told me that they didn't want to talk to me. Today I wonder how I could handle all this but Elhamdulillah strength or power without Allah's help ... After almost a year after marriage I became pregnant by the will of Allah and it gave me hope for life I was overjoyed. Only one day during my pregnancy I regularly got various stresses and was condemned for everything. One day my mother-in-law went to the field and told me to cut the onion until she came back so she would see what she would prepare for lunch. one big bucket with old onions left over from the winter and inside there was nothing but the shell dried out. maybe there were only a few healthy onion heads in the whole bucket..I thought she was ready to throw it away, I took the young onion When she came back she opened the door of my room and slammed it so hard that it even damaged the wall. She started yelling at me and calling me various derogatory names that I was incapable of doing anything right, that I took her best son. That I was a devil in their house ... I told her that I would tell Salih everything that I couldn't stand it anymore, and she told me: -You will brag about my son, I gave birth to him !! you are ashamed, you worship your mother, and you ask injustice Is that prayer worth it? She almost killed me because of those words and shouted not to mention her prayer to her, because surely for a moment the truth began to hurt her. I, a pregnant fourteen-year-old isolated from the world, left my parents to come to their house and be with their son. They wanted to make a robot out of me and to do all the housework from day one, cooking, washing, ironing. I milk goats, and I work in the fields. And how can I learn all this at once when I didn't do anything with my family except vacuuming and dusting, because my mother was young and did everything herself (although we didn't have cattle or plant a field). Salih was not at home when it happened, no one heard or saw the incident. And when the brother-in-law returned from work and asked: Where is Dzennita? His mother told him that I had locked myself in my room that I was crazy and that I had raised a knife on her to slaughter her, and I was actually crying and talking with a knife in my hand with which I was chopping onions..I kept a lot secret from Salih because I loved him very much and did not want to worry him and opterecujem. I thought that in time it would change that one day we would live normally, but I was sorely mistaken, because every day there was an argument in our house because if I asked where the broom was, why should I ask that we are not blind if I don't make coffee on time , if I go to rest in my room. When I would put out every quarrel on paper, I would write until the morning ... My mother was told the worst that she was a gossip just sitting on the street. And she because she didn't have water at home, so she always had to go to her neighbor's house and if she talked along the way and they saw her by chance, she was immediately blackened and she must have talked badly about them ... The next Ramadan Salih was at home and they invited him to a village to be an imam during Ramadan, I went with him and spent the first normal peaceful days with Salihom. My father found out that I was in that village through my friend who lived there and he came to us one evening ... Just imagine that feeling of hugging my father after a very very long time we both cried and I cried even more because I found out that they had lied to me and that my father immediately wanted us to reconcile ... After that, Salih told them to come to me. It's just that nothing has changed and they were afraid to come to my house, they were even kicked out many times. I could walk to my parents' house in fifteen minutes and I went once a week with my father-in-law when he went to the mosque when he came back and I went home with him. Because I shouldn't have tarnished their honor and fornication alone! All this is Salih, I watched over time as his were unjust to me, but it was his mother and mother, holy to him, no matter what he did wrong, he never pointed out her mistakes. He was silent as he is still silent today ... my brother and I told Salih to buy some presents to visit him. I got ready with a gift in my hand and his mother brought me back from the doorway shouting that I shouldn't go anywhere until I made dinner ... Grief after grief I don't know how much I am she shed tears and how I remained normal at all, because of their various abuses ... Once my mother came to tell me that a woman had been born who was related to me and also to my mother-in-law. Her mother-in-law started shouting like crazy at my her mother told her; What are you doing, what do you care is mine, Selima (Selima is the mother of the woman who gave birth) She goes out, she gets lost, she will go with me. and various other words of insult. Salih listened to all this and hid in the room, he did not say a word to his mother, and I still lie to my mother that I did not hear it, and I heard you shivering and crying listening to them throw out my mother. There was a wedding of one of their relatives in a hotel ... I should have gone with them Salih was not at home I went to get ready for the first time in my life as a young bride with things my mother bought me. And I never wore a white wedding dress. are that I was at the hairdresser and that they should wait for me until I arrived ... When I came back the door was locked. I cried and I didn't know what to do, I went to my mother and she cried and said that the hotel was close to She will take me away. And so I went alone. All Salih's relatives, father, mother, brother, sisters ... When they saw me, they must have turned pale with shame, but they put masks on their faces, so they smiled at me and said: - Here comes my daughter-in-law! I went to the bathroom and Salihova's sister followed me, shook me and shouted for me to be silent so that I wouldn't cry and never tell Salih what they did to me. I don't care if my brother dies every day I am nobody and nothing. One night before I fell asleep I got bleeding (Pregnant) and told them. Salih was in Sarajevo they took me to the hospital after my long insistence when the doctor saw me he said that the baby was fine, the heart was beating normally the baby was like a football player alive and man, only my placenta is implanted low, so there was bleeding that everything will be fine if I rest and use therapy..I was in the hospital for three days, the bleeding stopped, I returned home and everyone threatened me not to accidentally I don't tell Salih that I was in the hospital. They made fun of me even more now because my pregnancy got complicated, so they said that I didn't care for anything, that they took a sick daughter-in-law for their hero. ready when I take in my hands the father-in-law shouted to the mother-in-law; roared- You don't touch !! What was it worth to me that I didn't work for a few days when I was oppressed, ridiculed and called incompetent all day, cried all night ... In a short time they forgot about my "incompetence" So I started doing all the housework again and they almost all day they were in the fields and orchards because they made a living growing fruits and vegetables for sale.After that lying in the hospital I no longer went to the doctor. Then I was in the third month of pregnancy, I was doing everything and I didn't take any pills, and I couldn't even say that I had to buy them or that I had to go to the doctor because I would be insulted and ridiculed right away ... In the sixth month of pregnancy got up to collect strawberries for sale there were a lot of strawberries so we all got up to collect to take them to the market at half past six. All the time bent down, baby low I pressed her even harder, but everyone was silent and no one said anything ... We collected almost two weeks every day, it was a big field of strawberries, when six o'clock comes, I return home with as many strawberries as I can take, they stay a little longer, I have to milk the goats and take them to the coban. When I come back coffee for them it must be done otherwise everything will go where it shouldn't. It lasted like that until one day I got severe pains in my back and stomach. I was preparing crackers for dessert for dinner that day. Salih was at the Friday prayer, I was waiting for him to come back and I left doctor. He arrived late a little before the axes, we didn't have our own car, the village van never returned to the city. And because of the shame that their pregnant daughter-in-law was ill, they didn't invite anyone to take me by car, but walked miles to the city ... When I arrived they told me that I was open three fingers gave me therapy and threw me into the room.Friday night, Saturday Sunday no one looked at me from the doctor nor worried about me because I did not give anyone a bribe put something in my pocket ... Monday morning I was shaking I couldn't breathe because of the pain, I asked for help but there was no one to give it to me, the doctor's shift had to be changed, it was half past six and the others came at eight, so the doctors "left" my condition to their colleagues when they came. it doesn't matter what they care, they didn't gain anything and they won't lose anything ... I felt strange pressure and left the hospital room where there were a dozen other women, I went holding my stomach to the toilet. I just closed the door in my hands are nasl and my little weak baby of six months ... As she was just waving her arms and legs, I even heard her voice. My little son, little, beloved, lost ... I didn't even cry like I'm crying now, because I was stricken with pain then, I just shouted Allahu Akbar and today I say so because He is the Greatest and His will was not to feel the warmth of my son's embrace and his smile..I am comforted that my little son is in Paradise and that inshAllah will ask his mother and ask Allah to forgive my sins to breastfeed him and put him on my chest ... For another hour and a half I was alone in the hospital room the nurses said they were waiting for the doctors and the doctors were waiting for others to come, I had already lost the baby anyway what help. My baby was attached to me for an hour and a half through my navel on the obstetric table and the one below was covered with a green blanket ... I am a stone lost and Allah Almighty knows why I never turned around and looked again at my baby whose soul Rabbu to his travels ... Only Allah knows it is certainly not without reason, and this way I remember only that picture when I accepted it with my hands and saw it, even when it was alive. The doctors didn't even look at me, but only one pressed hard on my stomach and the navel tore off, and he didn't even see that the baby was six months old and that the navel should have been bigger, that it was still inside ... I was in severe pain so there is one woman who is She was in the same room with me and asked her doctor to examine me. She accepted and said I would call her a little later. She found out with an ultrasound that I had to go to the operating room urgently because my placenta remained inside ... I have never had such physical pain before. felt as they took out my remains, as if they were digging my whole gut but thank Allah I survived by His will. Doso Salih was with his mother and she immediately started shouting from the door instead of at least now that she was the hardest to comfort me, she was already shouting: You are guilty, you are guilty !!! Why didn't you say you were in pain ... so how can a person be so evil hypocritical or forgetful, so she was with me when the doctors told me that I had to keep the pregnancy to rest both mentally and physically and now she says I didn't tell her ... They had to take the baby home and put it in the grave because she had a soul. They gave her a name (which I only heard after a long time) and wrapped her little one in white ceffins. I stayed in the hospital for a few days until my condition improved a little but it was hard to remain indifferent and surrounded by newborn babies. and listening to their voice. I returned home empty-handed but my heart was full .. full of pain ... Everyone was somehow colder. No this was not a reason for change either but this time they accused my mother of doing magic to me to lose the baby estakfirullah, if any mother would do that to her child. People just filled my mother's head with various stories that, although difficult for me, were mostly true. She was told by those who saw how I lived in that house, because everything is heard in the village. It was difficult for her, she was often ill and lay in the hospital ... my mother had never been against Islam before only she did not fully practice it like most in that village but she never defended me even she in the mekteb persuaded me to go when I remained the only girl in a few boys, because they left as I said earlier because they stated that the brothers who taught us were Wahhabis. But then after my marriage to Salih they poisoned her heart and denigrated Islam. ... And indeed, Salih's father talked everywhere about how he educated his son for Hodja, so that Hodja's wife must not do without a mahram (and he did not worship anything but Jumu'ah). Despite the fact that they tortured me and objected to me every day, Allah loved me. hijab, and I am I wanted to cover myself with my will in the name of Allah and not because of their orders. And I remember saying then that if it were not for my faith in Allah and my sincere intention to cover myself, I would never have covered myself because they tortured me so much. team, may Allah forgive me for such words. And elhamdulillah I covered myself and I was overjoyed because of that, but the only thing that hurt me a lot was that I knew that everyone in the village would say as they still think that by force they they did it, all because his parents said that I would have to cover myself. And they said that for the reason of proving to people that they were ordering me and that I would do whatever they wanted. I knew that my It will be difficult for the parents and they will surely believe the story that people told. I covered myself in Ramadan in 2003. It was very difficult for me because of my parents and because they did not believe that I did it of my own free will. In the beginning it was much harder, later as the days passed they gradually calmed down and got used to my hijab. still the only covered woman left, except for those older women and some middle-aged who wear a traditional headscarf but short sleeves. It was unbearable to live under that roof..I had not yet recovered from the loss of the child I had to use pills to prevent infection. The instructions for their use said that they should not be used during pregnancy, I drank half a box and stopped ... Until Salih saw them and asked why I do not use them regularly because I still have not finished the therapy..I told him that I have a feeling that I am pregnant again, and he bowed his head sadly and then he thought that I was still hurt by the loss of the child and that I was imagining. I went to the gynecologist after a few days and found out that I was carrying the baby again. laughed or cried, whether I mourned or rejoiced..Allah is Merciful to me for a short time time replaced sorrow with joy, thank Him Almighty ... Salih had to leave his studies and he was a graduate student, he did not take a diploma for several exams, but he did not want to leave me alone this time ... He asked his parents to live separately. there was a quarrel of breaking various objects of shouting and I was again called derogatory names and that I was not worth enough to separate Saliha from them. And WAllahi I did not even know about his intention to want to separate from his parents. I prayed the aksam prayer in my room and suddenly there was a shout Salih entered the room and just said; -I asked to separate from them ... I cried and begged him not to do it because I was already in the eighth month of pregnancy, I was afraid that I would not We will succeed and it will be difficult for us if they turn their backs on us now, but he has already decided. Just believe me, Salih did not do it for me personally, but also because he could not listen to people as his father slanders and slanders him wherever he goes. .Calls him a fool, a failed student, az and me even worse..When he left college he worked as an imam in a village he went on Fridays and Saturdays for religious education for children.And then every day they tired me out and accused me of lying and that his salary was higher. We stayed in the same house and today we are only on the second floor. Nothing much has changed, they still complained, they didn't talk to me and said that I separated them from my son. We barely made ends meet, we didn't even have a roof over our heads were sour, so we had to put dishes so that water would remain in them ... There were no doors or windows or anything on that floor and no money to fix. But thank Allah Almighty who never forgets his slaves, Salih's uncle called us who was in Switzerland and offered financial help. Salih hesitated and finally accepted because there was no other way out. So we somehow managed to make one room available. The work was not finished yet but it was too late so they stopped working and we were preparing for the night. Suddenly I felt a kind of tolina down my legs and I was scared. It was an aquarius that burst, Salih just got out of bed and said come on hayr. Only two days the baby was in the ninth month I thought I would only for months Ec days to give birth, but she seems to be staring a lot, the little soul wanted to remove my sorrow by coming to the world in those sad days ... At half past three in the morning, Allah made me happy with my daughter, the birth was quite difficult but I forgot everything Adna clung to her chest. With her arrival came new worries, only they were still sweet ... Watching all night crying, cramps but it was all a new but beautiful experience..When my mother came with her loved ones to visit me at home and to bring me gifts for my daughter and then my mother-in-law made a problem, when her mother wanted to wish her a hayrli the birth of a granddaughter, she pushed her away rudely and three times with her hands and words she said run away. . There were still problems between us because we lived in their house and they were the owners, only maybe later I suffered a little less and struggled with them because I had more responsibilities around my Adna ... Adna turned nine months old and I have Another heart began to beat, the heart of Adna's sister Sara. I raised my daughters-in-law Salih did not finish college mostly for financial reasons, so he had to go abroad to enable us a better and more comfortable life ... father, mother, brother, sister and Salih were all in Slovenia. The father stayed there only coming home on vacation, the brother enrolled in high school, the mother doesn't work anywhere so she is more often here. Seventeen days after Sara's second birthday with a little delay she received another sister Summeja as a gift. And so, by the will of the Supreme Creator, in the twenty-second year of my life I became the mother of three princesses. Summeja was only 4 weeks old when her father left for Switzerland, where she still works today. I am already four years old ... During that time, my children grew up only with their mother. They saw their fathers every three months for a few days. When he got home we didn't even know how to use that short time together. It's salih at the moment he will stay at home a little longer this time until he gets a work permit again ... I don't seem to be thinking of going with him anymore. Because I dreamed of going to Sarajevo and later in Slovenia now to Switzerland, and we weren't anywhere. So I leave my destiny in the hands of the Mighty and Wise and let it be as it must be, because I know that Allah plans better than us ... Salih's father moved to the Hereafter, his mother was left alone, neither Salih nor her brother-in-law are often at home .. .I wanted to halal them all and leave them behind but never forget ... It's been ten years since I lived with Salih, I do all the work around the backyard, if I make something sweet or something special for myself and we always send the children to her .When Salih's sisters arrive I greet them as beautifully as I can, but I still haven't loved Salih's mother even though I gave birth to her three grandchildren. Everything I do thinks I have to do it is my duty ... And now on this second day of Eid n After ten years, he still won't let me live the way I want ... We said that we would go to Salih's sister, that means my son-in-law, and that she would come with us. kitchen around serving guests and everything else. She was there with us and we said we would go a little later that we were not ready. After only ten minutes the phone rang and Salih said that my uncle asked if we were home to come. He said he had bujruma. And so as soon as the uncle with his wife and son came to us, she started shouting like crazy. What is this, I've been waiting for you to go to Ammara all day !! and some more exclamations. the guests did not know where to look and how to behave and Salih, as always, has no language because she is his mother, she is a saint, so he must not point out her mistakes ... Immediately after leaving our house, the daidzinica started spreading the news. about her how she shouted how she kicked them out and how I was shaking.When they left I went downstairs, in the yard was Salih, the brother-in-law and she.I told her why she did it and what kicked my guests out of the house. And she says she didn't know they were there eh Allah my looking me in the eyes and lying and she came with intent..And when I told her you came with intent she said; So what !! Take the car and go I told her, and she shouted cynically again; No I don't want to go with my son. I started shaking with nervousness, and my beloved Salih, instead of telling his mother in a nice way that I was right, he just grabbed me by the shoulders and brought me into the room ... It happened on the second day of Eid, four days have passed but I'm still shaking. I'm shaking even under half a box of antidepressants I drank..When I started writing this story I knew it would be long because

long days and long years of mourning have passed, There was also happiness Elhamdulillah only that there were more tears. I do not complain, thank the Almighty in every condition but these days I broke, simply broke. I go back to the film and the years back it hurts all the insults I suffered and in the end she accepted and halal again. And yet even today she touches my heart in her loved ones, all my things bother her, only she would like to live and she will be happiest if she sees that Salih is rude to me if I tell her the same ... And today I wonder yourself and you if anyone had a sabur to read this story; Where did I sin? !! Who did I hurt? !! And many insult me ​​all my life .. I'm guilty ... maybe I'm really guilty that I defended myself with silence and forgiveness, so once I speak the truth that hurts terribly then they are all victims as always as at the beginning of the story ... And I don't know how to end this story because there is still no end, how many more tears I will shed, through what I will go through more trials Only Allah knows and only prayer remains for me ... So here is the Merciful Creator I beg to forgive my sins save me my family, my beloved friends in the name of Him from evil in the Hereafter and the Hereafter because I am encouraged by the cheerfulness of the day and I am grateful that I have met them even though they are far from me but I believe that we are close to souls ... May peace and blessings be upon the Messenger of Allah saws and his honorable family of the Companions and all those who will follow the path of truth until the Day of Judgment. . strength, when Dunjaluk exhausts me with his sorrows.