So I woke up this morning with one of those nostalgic feelings that just drives your thoughts into fits of life's experiences analysis. And I thought I might just share it with you all. So here's what I managed to write down.

Advised to be cautious of what I feed my soul, so I read good books, be it religious, motivational, inspirational or historical. I eschew negativity, pray daily, attend seminars and webinars, keep a positive mindset even in the midst of all the negatives going on around me.

So why does my mind race?

Why do I feel incomplete and inadequate?

They say love is a beautiful thing. It nourishes the body, uplifts the wearied spirit and liberates the soul. They say God is love. It's patient, meek, kind,. They say it doesn't judge, it's not prejudiced and it's comforting.

So why do I feel uncomfortable when loved?

Why is my innocence perceived as ignorance?

And why am I forlorn in ecstasy?

Growing up I was taught and still being taught that my soul is a subject of a fierce battle between two spirits within me, the good and the bad. In church I'm constantly reminded to feed the good with good, and starve the bad by eschewing evil. This I've consciously been keeping to, planting good with good actions and watering it with Bible studies.

So why do I have this constant diatribe against my inner angels when I should be intrepidly confronting my demons?

Why am I timid amongst sincere, loving and good friends but conversable with my demons?

They say life is a journey and we all have to chart our own course. We have to constantly navigate our way towards our purpose. The say the worst thing to happen is for us to be stagnant. As a wise man once said "if you can't fly, run. If you can't run, walk. If you can't walk, crawl. Just don't stop moving. It seems motion is the guarantee of success. And we're where we are for a purpose.

So why am I where I am?

Where am I going?

Why am I going where I'm going?

Where's my final destination?

Daily I wake up, start up, going about my affairs like one with the knowledge of his destination and purpose. But then what does purpose entail? And what's the situation of our destination? Our lives are daily influenced by the decisions and conditioning of people and a society who know nothing about us and couldn't care less. I live within the tenets of the religious statutes with which I was brought up. A religion I did not choose, but only adopted through my parents and their parents before them.

The say you get what you give, so I strive everyday to do good to all that comes my way, but evil trails me like a shadow seeking to outpace and extinguish me. Why is it so easy to do good? But then nothing good comes easy?

Man is born into a family he did not choose, in a country he did not choose. He gets to accept traditions and cultures he did not choose. He's conditioned by the definition of good and evil of a society he did not choose. But then he's responsible for what becomes of his life. He strives and toils to meet ends meet, to contribute his quota to the development of the human race. He tries to affect the lives of his immediate environment the best way he can, and tries to fulfill a purpose that for the best part he doesn't know. He tries to do good throughout his life till the day he withers away.

So what's the ultimate goal?

To live well or to die well?