I had promised not to cry, to say goodbye to you as we did every morning when each one got into their world of pending and activities, just kiss you as usual and leave you a nice day, but when I said goodbye to you and have you in my arms I felt like If a part of my heart had detached itself and came out through my skin, what a pain, I would have wished in those moments to have the power to make you as small as when you were a baby and I took you in my arms, pressing you against me, kissing your face and telling you slowly how much I loved you, lull you to sleep and watch you sleep on my lap, thanking God for having you; But as this was not possible, I could only give you a big hug tell you how much I love you and kiss you on the cheek, the pain of the goodbye was greater than my promise, the tears rolled down my cheeks reaching the corners of my Lips that tried in vain to muffle a smile, you got out of the car and I continued on my way to a house that awaited me with open arms, cold, alone and with thousands of memories tattooed over the years on its walls.
It was long hours on the way back home, and in the distance you stayed with your projects, with your plans, with the novelty that another city offered you, other friends, other roads to travel, other adventures to live, another stage of your life. life was beginning. No, I was not going to be the one who obstructed your path, the one who obstructed your path, it was your decision to go to study elsewhere, it was you who had decided to leave the nest, I only have to respect your decisions in addition to feeling proud because even with the fear that gives the unknown you had dared.
As life goes by, in the blink of an eye you became a man, always making radical decisions, I remember the day you no longer wanted to use a diaper, or that day you took the balance wheels off the bicycle, or when you decided that You wanted to skate and even though the skates were bigger than your little feet, you made them, what memories, each one of your achievements is engraved in my mind. And now you are there where you dreamed of reaching a long time and how much effort it cost you, with everything you had to go through, but there you are.
A la distancia me doy cuenta que también estas lejos de mi mirada indiscreta que vigilaba a diario tus actividades, estas lejos de mi manía compulsiva de saber la hora de regreso y con quien estabas. Estas lejos de mi carrera amateur de detective para investigar qué tipo de amistades tenias, estas lejos de mi amañada supervisión por tus deberes. Estas lejos de mí.
And behind have been our long early morning talks, our complicity laughter, our long shopping walks, your bad habit of wanting to correct my character, my tone of voice towards others, meals out, our trips, fights for the kind of music we listened to while riding in the car. Gone are the memories of the years lived together.
Now you have to take responsibility for yourself, apply each and every one of the teachings that I gave you, I know that as a mother I have had big mistakes because as they say, when you were born you did not bring a manual, so my son I only gave you what that I had neither more nor less, try to separate the things learned from my parents that I did not like, from those that I believed were correct, try to read and inform me that it was the best for you, from my point of view of course, try to teach you the difference between good and evil, try to instill in you faith through the belief of a God, try to teach you to reflect on your actions and take responsibility for each one of them, try to give you a better life than I had (that create a need, your whole life), try to teach you to love, to cry, and my most recent contribution to your person make you know what humility is, in short, try to give you the best, I clarify, all this is and will be what I thought it was the best.
And with these bases that may not be the best I leave you today my little son, I know that you will make the best use of them and you will modify them as you learn from your experiences, from your life. I let you go like a bird that takes flight, I leave you my son a piece of my heart, covering yours as a shield, I leave you my best memories for when you are alone and nostalgic, make use of them and closing your eyes, you evoke them by tearing one smile that makes your sadness disappear. I also leave you an example of strength and improvement in case at some point you feel so overwhelmed that you want to send everything to the scrub. I leave you my unconditional love in case you ever feel lonely. But above all, the open doors of a house together with my arms for when you need comfort, love, understanding, someone to listen to you, and something very important for when you need A MOM.
WHEN I LEFT MY HOUSE, STILL CHILD, MY MOTHER ACCOMPANIED ME TO THE STATION AND WHEN I BOARDED THE TRAIN, SHE TOLD ME THIS IS THE SECOND AND LAST GIFT THAT I CAN GIVE YOU THE FIRST ONE WAS GIVING YOU THE FREEDOM TO LIVE IT THE SECOND.
(Facundo Cabral)