"Public Affection" redirects here. For the band formerly known as Public Affection, see Live (band).
For other uses, see Affection (disambiguation).
Two children showing affection.
Affection
Affection or fondness is a "disposition or state of mind or body"[1] that is often associated with a feeling or type of love. It has given rise to a number of branches of philosophy and psychology concerning emotion, disease, influence, and state of being.[2] "Affection" is popularly used to denote a feeling or type of love, amounting to more than goodwill or friendship. Writers on ethics generally use the word to refer to distinct states of feeling, both lasting and spasmodic. Some contrast it with passion as being free from the distinctively sensual element.[3]
Even a very simple demonstration of affection can have a broad variety of emotional reactions, from embarrassment, to disgust, pleasure, and annoyance. It also has a different physical effect on the giver and the receiver.[4]
Contents
Restricted definition[edit]
A young girl kisses a baby on the cheek.
More specifically, the word has been restricted to emotional states, the object of which is a living thing such as a human or animal. Affection is compared with passion,[5] from the Greek "pathos". As such it appears in the writings of French philosopher René Descartes,[6] Dutch philosopher Baruch Spinoza,[7] and most of the writings of early British ethicists. However, on various grounds (e.g., that it does not involve anxiety or excitement and that it is comparatively inert and compatible with the entire absence of the gratifyingly physical element), it is generally and distinguished from passion. In this narrower sense, the word has played a great part in ethical systems, which have spoken of the social or parental affections as in some sense a part of moral obligations.[3] For a consideration of these and similar problems, which depend ultimately on the degree in which the affections are regarded as voluntary.[8]
Expression[edit]
Further information: Public display of affection
Affection can be communicated by looks, words, gestures, or touches. It conveys love and social connection. Affectionate behavior may have evolved from parental nurturing behavior due to its associations with hormonal rewards.[9] Such affection has been shown to influence brain development in infants.[10] Expressions of affection can be unwelcome if they pose implied threats to one's well being. If welcomed, affectionate behavior may be associated with various health benefits. It has been proposed that positive sentiments increase the propensity of people to interact and that familiarity gained through affection increases positive sentiments among them.[11]
Benefits of affection[edit]
Affection exchange is seen as an adaptive human behavior that contributes to greater physical and mental well-being. The expression of affection mediates emotional, physical, and relational benefits for the individual and significant counterparts. The communication of positive feelings towards others has shown health benefits that include; lower stress hormones, lower cholesterol, lower blood pressure and stronger immune system.[12] Benefits are internally noticed when the emotion is expressed and not merely felt, if affection is not reciprocated through the receiver, effects of the affection are still felt through the giver.
Parental relationships[edit]
Affectionate behavior is often regarded as the result of parental nurturing behavior due to its associations with hormonal rewards. Positive and negative parental behaviors can be linked to later life health problems. Abuse is a common attribute to poor health in later life, as the lack of affection leads to naturally poorer well-being and mental health. A 2013 study showed the effects of early child abuse and the outcome between lack of affection and the strong biological link for how these negative early-life experiences affect physical health.[13]
Affectionism[edit]
Affectionism is a school of thought which considers affections as central importance. Although it is not found in mainstream Western philosophy, it does exist in Indian philosophy.
Being happy with another person is not as simple as consulting an instruction manual, especially as the years pass by. You mustn’t forget that a relationship is like a garden. In particular, you need to take care of and nourish it through hard work and dedication.
However, according to some research, affection in relationships is an important element that reinforces the bond between partners.
Who doesn’t go out of their way to show their best qualities at the beginning of a relationship? At first, most people are concerned about the well-being of their partner. For example, it’s full of small gestures of affection that strengthen the bond between the couple. However, little by little the magic gradually fades away, and routines and customs take its place.
Thus, partners cease to court or impress each other. No more little gestures of affection that generated so much amazement take place. And, sometimes feelings of affection lose their importance or even disappear. In truth, this situation is problematic because it could be the beginning of the end of a relationship. Let’s take a closer look.
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Why is it important to maintain affection in relationships?
In general, affections is one of the traits that we value most in other people. According to surveys, this feature is attractive for both men and women. However, once immersed in a relationship, it’s common for a partner to stop acting with this type of sensitivity towards the other person.
Affection in relaitonships is essential to get a feeling of satisfaction. According to experts, one of the best predictors of a healthy relationship is how each person feels about the other’s support. And, what’s better than being with someone who understands, listens, and helps you enjoy your life a bit more?
Unless you’re in a toxic relationship, normally you like being there to support your partner. However, to some extent, monotony can cause you to lose your original perspective. As the saying goes, ‘familiarity breeds contempt’. But if you want to maintain a good relationship, you can’t allow this saying to become a reality.
For this purpose, you need to make a conscious and constant effort to maintain the quality of your relationship with your partner.
How to maintain affection in relationships
Cultivating affection in relationships is essential to maintain a long-term and healthy bond. Next, we’ll explain some tips to do just that.
Practice unconditional acceptance
Sometimes, you secretly want your partner to change some quality so they can fit your wishes or standards. That is, in some way you want them to be different than who they are.
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However, the problem with this attitude is that it can lead you to great frustration. Namely, since the other person will not always act as you’d like. But, if they did, they’d stop being who they are.
Learning to love your partner the way they are, accepting their way of being is fundamental to strengthen a relationship. Of course, this doesn’t mean you have to accept disrespectful or hurtful behavior. There are some limits that nobody can cross.
Now, it’s important to bear in mind that your partner acts in the best way they know. It all depends on their experience. Besides toxic and abusive relationships, as a rule, most people act with their best intentions in mind. Therefore, it’s best to try to understand and talk about what makes you uncomfortable.
Having this present in your mind will help you nurture an attitude of affections towards your partner. Even during the most difficult moments.
Offer support
One of the most frequent problems in relationships, especially if they’ve lasted a long time, is the lack of acts of love for each other. Therefore, it’s easy to see that, at a certain point, one member of the relationship may feel as if the other doesn’t pay enough attention to them or that they don’t care.
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So, it’s important to make sure that the other person knows how much you care about them.
According to the theory of The Five Love Languages, every person experiences or feels as if they’re valued in their own way. For some, physical contact is the most important thing. For others, what makes them feel special are supportive words or feeling as if they’re being listened.
Thus, increasing affection in relationships consists of trying to discover what makes the other person feel loved. Afterward, try to give them this kind of love as much as you can or with the appropriate amount.
Of course, these two keys are not the only valid ways to improve this aspect of the relationship. However, applying them will have a positive effect.
But, you can’t forget that the most important thing. There should always be commitment, respect, and love in the relationship from both members. Likewise, realize that effort and mutual care are just as necessary.