I sat tonight at my bed with poker face. I'm just thinking about what have been my dreams all these years. How far I am to achieving my life-long dreams? How many dreams I had since I stated to dream? Will they come true or not? I had this unpleasant feeling inside that continue to grow and I didn't know how to get rid of it. Then I realise this feeling was about I can't deal with my broken dreams.

What are your dreams in life? The dream you wanted so bad that you keep chasing even though you're tired, frustrated and discouraged.

Many times our elders frequently told us that you should not dream high because as much high as you dream, the deepest you will fall. I was once received this kind of message from one of my family members. It was very discouraging. You feel like you are betrayed because instead of support, they will give you discouraging messages.

We set different goals, aspirations and dreams as we get older. I still remember when my friends and I was having a good conversation on what we are about in the next 10 years. We boasted and felt pride about how high and luxury our dreams are. My ultimate, wildest dream is to become a well-known writer and have my own publishing company. Yes, you read it right, my own publishing company.

But before that, I used to dream to become a singer. I sang a lot and practice and practice everyday. I hit the notes, I studied notes and every technique. In addition, I work hard to find my own style of singing. Yet after a year or so, I didn't make it. I didn't continue it because I feel inside that I'm not happy singing. Singing is not for me.

After a year, I started to have interest in visual arts. I had this great interest in sketching and paintings. I planned to buy tools and materials that I will be needing. In the next day, I bought them and started to draw and paint. I literally happy and seeing the results are so satisfying. I even bought some local paintings because I felt inspired and hooked to it. Yet, after a month I lose this interest and my dreams are starting to crumble again.

In these times, a total stranger approached me and asked "Would you like to listen for some minutes"? Then I answered "Yes, sure. I'll listen since I'm not in hurry". He told me about dreams and why dreams are driving people crazy. At first, I don't understand what he meant and just continue to listen. We finished our conversation, saying our goodbyes. I went home thinking about what he said, what he meant. It is because that day I felt so bad and discouraged due to my losing dreams.

Realizations

• No matter how much people advices you. You still don't know how to put it properly. We always tend to ask to friends, family and trusted people to get their advices. We collected advices, good advices but still don't know how to apply it. Meaning, assess yourself first before you seek advice. Close your eyes and think deeply what is the root of it all.

• God sometimes takes away things from us and put something better. Like dreams I had, God took that away from me. He made me realize that I am not meant for that. My growth and progress will not be visible in singing at arts.

• It maybe not now, but not never. You may lose opportunity, lose person or lose career and dreams. But opposite of that a new door was opened. God allowed me to become a writer. Writing gives me career and build my character. It allows me to grow, to become independent, to seek new knowledge, to gain insights of world events and to become a better person that I don't believe I would be.

Always remember that the recognition you get now is not forever. All things has it ends and you must ready for that.

I just wanna remind everybody that when you are too much focus on what you like, it has a high tendency that you will blur everything in sight. Even if those things are good and much better to what you have. We are just craving for to feed our desires instead of consuming our desires. What I want you to realize is that enlarge your vision in the field. Do not focus on what caught your attention. Look at the full scale of your vision and observe it. After your observations, analyze it and make your conclusions. Your conclusion that will make you understand what you really need for and let you be happy.

The dreams you are chasing that was not meant for you will never be fitted to you.

The legacy you should be working and worried about is your relationship with God and people. Dream not only to elevate yourself, but to create opportunities for others to be inspired of your existing dream. Because at the end of this lifetime, you cannot get and bring all your fame, fortune, and precious things you had in the other side.

Authors Notes!

I sincerely thanking everyone who are reading my articles since I started to publish one. All my love and prayers be with you.

Check my previous articles!

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Why is Gender and Development important?

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