How Do I?

Dear diary, today, I woke up not feeling good. I'm sad. But not as sad as l was last night when I heard the news. My mom called me by 8 pm to break the devastating news to me. A man that I considered my godfather passed on yesterday. He was poisoned. I didn't know the first thing to say after I heard it. I broke down immediately. I couldn't control the tears that rushed down my cheeks. I am a very emotional person. I would cry if a mouse got killed in front of me. I would cry if a celebrity I never even met, or had signed an autograph on my shirt died. I would cry if a dog got knocked down by a moving vehicle. That's just how emotional I am. So you can imagine my dilemma at the moment.

This man was a good man and he had four kids. The last child is newly born. I can't help but feel sad for his wife. She has to learn to get by every day with the kids, without him around to be her shoulder to lean on. These thoughts make me even sadder. Why do people even die? I ask myself. But the answer is one inflexible sentence Death is inevitable". I hate that this is true and there's nothing that can be done about it. It still hurts every time it happens though. Mourning a loved one can be a very confusing and tragic phase.

Yesterday would have been a huge mess, but luckily, I had a friend around who went on a night walk with me and tried to make me feel better, which I did. But what do I do to feel better today? Do I stuff my face with snacks while seeing a movie to let the sadness pass? Or do I sink into it and let it out?

What do I do to get by the day? How do I not think about this tragedy that has befallen a good man and his family?