It’s no secret that people are territorial creatures. Every animal on the planet wants to feel like it has a place in the world, and for good reason. Humans are no different, and as a result, we all have our favorite pastimes, friends, places, and things that make us feel at home. Most of us don’t realize that this same instinctive feeling can be applied not simply to physical objects but also people. In fact, for many people, it is even more important to connect with people.
This is why people often argue over trivial things; if you get the attention of someone you want to befriend, and they feel like they belong near or with you, then no matter how trivial that argument was, it’s effectively been won. However, if you want to create meaningful friendships with others, and ensure that they are loyal to your cause (and not just themselves), then there are some things that you can do to make sure that they trust you.
The first thing that you have to do is let them see your weaknesses. It may seem counter-intuitive, but the fact is that people like vulnerability in others – especially in leaders. This can be easy if you are a good leader, and can take care of other people while at the same time being able to put yourself at the service of those around you; however, it is important to make sure that these people know how much you care about them.
Another way of doing this is by showing people how much you need them. This is where you have to be careful because the trust that you are building has to be earned between you and your friend. It cannot be forced, because this is where relationships fall apart. If someone sees that you need them for something, then they will feel like they can manipulate you.
On the other hand, if someone sees that you need them just to survive and be happy – and not just because of one specific thing – then they will feel a deep sense of loyalty towards your cause. After all, it’s hard to watch a friend suffer when there is nothing that can be done about it. It’s also a lot harder to watch a friend suffer if they know that this suffering has been brought on by inaction.
It is easy for people to demonstrate their loyalty, but it is much harder to prove that they are. This is where having someone you care about as a friend can help – you can be honest with them and show them the way that you really feel, without worrying about what others think of you. By doing so, the outcome will be very clear; if your friend feels like he needs your friendship, then it will show in his actions and words – anyone who opposes this person now has an open invitation to attack him or her.
This is where you have to be very careful, because if your friend feels the need to cut all ties with you to keep his or her own status in the eyes of friends, then this person was never a true friend; just someone who was being used for an end goal.
Allowing people to see your weaknesses is a good way of clearing up any confusion or misunderstanding that may exist between you and the person you are trying to form a friendship with and building trust. If you show how much you need your friend, then there is no longer any possible way of surprising them or co-opting them into a position in which they could be used against you.
When we talk about building trust between friends, we have to mention that certain subjects are not safe to be discussed. For example, talking about your personal life – especially your love life – is definitely not one of these topics. Admittedly, this isn’t because it would reveal too many details; it’s because subject matter such as this can easily be used against someone.
If you find yourself in a situation where some of your friends are claiming to be loyal to you, and others are not, then you have to be honest about this fact. If they act against you because of it, then they were never your friends in the first place.
Creating trust through friendship is an art that cannot be forced; it has to happen naturally. Asking someone to do things for you will only make them feel used, especially if they cannot do what it is that you’re asking of them for one reason or another. This is why building real friendships require some finesse, but the benefits far outweigh the costs by far.
la lealtadad es algo que no tiene precio vive en los ser de una conciencia limpia ay una frase que dice no existe la lealtadad si no personas con necesidades de ti un luego logradas sus necesidades cambias su lealtades.