There has been an aged long battle between understanding and misunderstanding in our world. This battle starts from cradle to the grave and most times we end up not finding peace even in death. I have taken some time to evaluate the reasons why someone will choose not to allow understanding to reign amid misunderstanding, in all I found out that the reason for such is just because people most times allow their selfishness to becloud their sense of reasoning.
When was the last time you found yourself in a heated argument and yet you were able to allow your inner mind to listen to the other person without any form of bias? If you are very sincere to yourself, you will notice that what happens during any disagreement is that you only think about yourself even when you are faced with every reasonable reason which should lead you to understand yet you hold onto disagreement.
This may be sounding a bit far for some of us therefore I will like to use an instance to buttress my point. Let’s look at a scenario where you accidentally stepped on another person’s toe just as you were about to pass by. First, what should be your reaction? Some people may be careless to the fact that they matched on someone’s toes, some will pause a bit not because they care but because they want to ascertain that the person’s leg was blocking the road, some will even go to the extent of checking the person’s face to know if they felt hurt while some will stop at that moment and show a genuine concern which will lead to an outpouring of apologies.
Among these set of individuals, you will agree with me that you fell into one of the categories but the ultimate question which I am pushed to ask you is; how would you feel if some else should match your toes? The reason for this question is very simple. It is for you to understand how the person you matched must have felt and that will let you know if it would be nice for you not to show a genuine concern irrespective of whether his leg was blocking the road or not. This is one of the golden rules of life which we neglect every day of our life and that goes a long way to affect our relationship with others negatively. Do unto others what you would wish them to do unto you. This rule of life is very simple and easy to memorise but it is very hard for us to abide by.
If you understand that the table may turn around and you will become the one whose toes were matched at some point in your life, you will understand the reason why you should always seek understanding amid every misunderstanding. In our relationships today, a lot of us have ended our love story negatively because we refused to allow understanding to prevail even amid a heated argument. It is not something different from the instance I have given above, the issue is that we allow selfishness to control our emotions and thoughts in times of disagreement. Let me ask you these pertinent questions. What goes on in your mind when you are in a heated argument with someone else especially your loved one? Do you argue with the intentions to agree or disagree?
A lot of people will go into a heated disagreement without having a place in their heart where the agreement will set in and this makes them misunderstand every point raised by the other person in the cause of the argument. When this happens, the other person who may have to give you tangible reasons which could have led you to a better understanding as to why they acted in the manner they did will get frustrated and by so doing, the misunderstanding will strive. Where there is a misunderstanding, there is a great deal of understanding lurking at the corner the only thing that will create a barrier will be the mindset with which the individuals approached the situation with.
Remove selfishness and see how far away misunderstandings will run from you. The truth is that both individuals who have found themselves in a heated argument do not wish for such unpleasantness but because of self-centredness, they both will be fighting for their voices to be heard. It does not matter whose voice is heard rather what matters is that you were able to consider the other person first before yourself. Forget the fact that his leg might have blocked the footpath or that you did it unintentionally, the major thing that should be in your heart will be that you made them feel hurt by matching on their toes and once you think in this way, you will genuinely express a sincere apology to them.
It will be more appropriate to apologize before airing your reasons why whatever happened may have happened but for me, I will tell you not to bother giving any reason why you did something bad to someone even when the reason may seem so reasonable and wonderful to you. By giving your reasons, you are making the person understand that you had a reason for hurting them and this may nullify the effect your apology had on them, so it will be better to apologize and forget airing your reasons unless the person asks you why you did whatever you did. Even at this point, it will be wise to say that you did not mean to hurt them other than opening your mouth to pour the reasons why you hurt them. Remember that a hurting heart needs every form of love it could get to enable faster healing, therefore I urge you to be in the category of those who would look back and genuinely apologize when they have matched someone’s toes.
If we can do this and practice the golden law of doing unto others what we would want them to do to us, our world will be a better place for all of us. As you go out to do your daily business, find a place in your heart to always seek understanding which leads to an agreement instead of misunderstanding which breeds disagreement, disunity and war. I love you from my heart.
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