This is why we suffer.
Our resistance to life's changes is what causes us to suffer. Life also constantly changes. Like everyone else, I struggle with change resistance, but I've learned how to adjust. I've acquired some adaptability. I now understand this:
Everything is always changing, which is lovely.
We suffer because of change. What do I mean when I say that we suffer because we fight against life's changes?
Let's look at some of the issues we encounter:
At work, someone screams at you.
The shift is motivated by the realization that, despite our expectations, others don't always treat us kindly, fairly, and with respect. When they don't, we fight this reality and demand that everything goes our way. Thus, we get angry, upset, or insulted.
Your child, whether they are 3 or 13, won't pay attention to you.
Again, you anticipate your kid acting in a particular manner, but in practice, things usually turn out differently. We get anxious when reality doesn't match our expectations.
Your employment is lost.
This is a significant transformation that has an impact on both your identity and your financial security. If you're a teacher and you lose your job, you now have to cope with how your self-perception has changed. This can be challenging. It may be quite unpleasant to resist these changes (and the financial limitations that come with the loss of a career).
You're feeling overloaded with duties.
Why has this changed at all? Things should be within our control, but they aren't. New assignments, information, requests, and demands are received. And these are challenging adjustments since, contrary to what we had previously believed, our day is no longer under control. We, therefore, experience tension and overload.
The demise of a loved one.
Of all, death is one of life's last transformations, but what else has changed? Of course, the person is no longer in our lives (at least not in the same manner), but it is also tragically true that when a loved one passes away, we are no longer the same. We must alter who we are because we are no longer a spouse but a widower, a parent without a daughter, or a friend who is abandoned (for example). We grieve and get enraged because we want life to be the way it was, but it isn't.
That's only the beginning. We struggle with change because it happens often. Our days change, as do our relationships, other people don't behave as they should, and we change frequently as well, which is difficult to live with.
This is the suffering that comes with change, losing control, and having our expectations not met.
How can we manage?
There are several ways we might manage the discomfort, like becoming angry and yelling, drinking or using drugs, eating junk food, watching TV, or finding other diversions. Exercise, venting to a friend about our issues, or making an effort to exert some kind of control over the circumstance are all healthy coping mechanisms we may use to deal with stress, pain, and anger (planning, taking action, having a difficult conversation to work out differences, etc.).
What if it happens this way?
Why fight if changes are a necessary part of life (because change is the only constant in life)? Why not savor and embrace?
Witness the grace of transformation.
We are so used to opposing that it is difficult.
For a moment, let's set aside our opposition and judgments and search for the beauty in life's transitions:
At work, someone screams at you.
This individual feels upset, irritated, and furious, and they are venting their feelings on you. They are reaching out and making futile attempts to regulate life's turmoil, but they are failing. Do you have any sympathy for this? Ever experience this? Our shared humanity, our discomfort from joint pain, and our commonalities are all beautiful. Embrace this lovely, suffering person in your mind, since his suffering, and show him compassion.
Your child, whether they are 3 or 13, won't pay attention to you.
Your youngster is amazingly claiming her freedom. She is demonstrating that she is a whole human being and not simply a machine that executes commands. Have you ever encountered that circumstance? Have you ever been annoyed when someone tried to exert authority over you? This individualism, this spirit of resistance, and this disobedience are all beautiful. That's how life works (OK, life is change, but also rebellion against control). Give your youngster some room to develop while admiring its beauty.
Your employment is lost.
Even if it's challenging, this marks both an end and a new beginning. It's the beginning of a brand-new adventure, a chance to revamp your life and recreate who you are. Consider the freedom from the "normal method" and the beauty of this possibility.
You are Feeling overwhelmed by Challenges
Undoubtedly, this is challenging, but it is also easy to give in to the deluge of chores, information, and expectations. You can't do them all at once, but you can let go of the need for total control. This disarray is beautiful. Life is chaotic, illogical, and random. Recognize the suffering caused by your resistance as well as the grace in this conflict. Once you are aware that you can only perform one thing at a time, focus on that. Next, let it go and go on to the next action. We might feel less overwhelmed and stressed out by accepting the turmoil and finding the beauty in it.
The demise of a loved one.
It's the toughest one of all; it's depressing. However, death is an inevitable ending. Because beauty is limitless, without an ending we would not be able to enjoy it. Limits are attractive. Death is the ultimate boundary and a reminder that we should treasure life while we still have it. Death is also the beginning for surviving, not in the sense of an afterlife. Although we have lost a significant individual, this ending provides an opportunity for reinvention, just as when a job is lost. When a loved one passes away, we are compelled to remake our lives, and in this opportunity lies. it is lovely in my opinion. Death is, of course, a chance to reflect on the person's life and express gratitude for their contributions.
There are many opportunities to discover beauty in our conflicts with change. And I think that's lovely in its way.
👏🏻💚💚💚💚