Relationship 101.
Many pieces of dating advice skim over the ideas of chemistry and compatibility, presuming that everyone has a basic understanding of what these two terms entail and why they're so crucial to a happy relationship. Everyone sort of takes it for granted that we are aware of what compatibility and chemistry are and if we possess them. Due to their immutability, compatibility and chemistry are generally avoided in dating advice. Either these concepts exist or they don't.
Instead, most dating advice focuses on the practical aspects of dating, such as what to say and when to say it, as well as how to avoid coming off as rude. Dating advice also appeals to those seeking "hacks." They want to know how to attract the attention of someone we believe is out of our league by deceiving, enticing, or cajoling them: We should tell the girl we've never had three items. Here are some outfit ideas to help you entice the guy of your dreams. If you don't want to die alone, don't discuss pineapples on your first date.
Additionally, we don't learn whether the person who is out of our league is genuinely incompatible with us.
Chemistry vs. Compatibility
Although the words chemistry and compatibility are often used synonymously, they don't mean the same thing. Many individuals attempt to explain the unspoken and invisible connection that occurs between two people by using ambiguous terminology (or lack thereof). However, they are not the same thing at all and realizing this is essential if you want to have a happy, healthy, and lasting relationship.
What Exactly Is Compatible?
The natural matching of two people's ideas and lifestyle preferences is known as compatibility. I doubt many people wind up dating drug dealers and youth ministers since they are probably not compatible. We have a fundamental difference that will probably never be addressed, and we will never date if I respect educated, clever women and I meet a high school dropout who is drawn to muscular, deer-hunting males. Hopefully not for too long.
The long-term potential between two individuals is what compatibility is all about. High compatibility results from the same ideals and lifestyles. Generally speaking, liberal educated individuals date other liberal educated people. Typically, hedonists date other hedonists. Religiously crazy people often date other religiously mad people.
What are your top priorities in life? Where do you each envision yourselves in the next five years? Is it spending your last years on a sunny beach or rising the corporate ladder? If one wants a carefree life, does the other desire a family and a settled existence?
Are there any pursuits that the two of you enjoy? One of you is a neat freak, are you okay living in a dumpster? Does one consistently arrive on time for dates while the other is two hours late?
Fundamental convictions: Is one of you a professional scientist, and the other flip-flops between various conspiracies?
Values: The majority (if not all) of the aforementioned stems from our core values. I have terrible news for you if your ideas and those of your significant other do not coincide.
Favorite burrito flavor: Burritos are the key to everything. Always.
How Does Chemistry Work?
Contrarily, chemistry is a representation of the emotional bond that exists between two individuals. High levels of chemistry may bring forth warm, fuzzy feelings in one another, producing a type of positive feedback loop where two individuals keep making one other feel better and better.
When you and someone else have a lot of chemistry, they take up all of your spare time and/or thoughts. You won't even feel like an hour has passed as you speak nonstop till the sun comes up. You'll be hoping it's them on every call or text. You'll be asking yourself, "What would he/she think of x?" frequently throughout your life, whether x is a song, a bird, a trip through the park, traffic congestion, or a colonoscopy. Call it a passion, a love, or a disease. In a neurological orgy of starry-eyed dreaminess, your/their core personality features and tiniest actions shred each other's dopamine receptors.
Divisions of Chemistry
How your spouse laughs when you make jokes
The inquiries they make about your day
How you two hold each other in bed
How they assist you with furnishing your new residence
They smell differently
The definition of genuine love is when someone constantly asks you for a piece of your burrito and when you decline, they still take a bite while looking so adorable that you can never bring yourself to become angry.
Subtle actions and attitudes that complement the other person's actions and attitudes make up chemistry. What results is a kind of closed karmic loop where both people experience the same level of chemistry. The most crucial piece of chemistry advice is to assume that whatever you're experiencing, the other person is probably feeling the same thing. You two nearly start to understand one another.
High amounts of chemistry often result from traits in individuals that are opposed yet complementary. A man who is laid-back, calm, and open will often click well with a woman who is highly strung, active, and a little neurotic. Extroverts and introverts often click naturally. Sometimes it's preferable to deal with individuals who are impulsive and disorganized than with folks who are meticulous and obsessive planners.
A lack of chemistry doesn't repel, unlike a lack of compatibility; rather, it only causes a lack of emotional intensity. Simply said, everything seems sort of lifeless and dull.
The bedroom also reflects chemistry. Lack of chemistry will result in unemotional, uninteresting sex. Intense, life-changing, heart-pounding sex that causes your mind to cosmically splatter itself on the walls of your awareness is the result of high levels of chemistry.
Are you Compatible with your partner?
Is there true Chemistry in your relationship?
If you can answer these questions in a positive, then your relationship is moving in the right direction.
Thank you for stopping by today.
