I have looked around to understand what we mean when we say I love you to that one person that tickles our fancy yet I cannot seem to get a hold on why and how we end up making them cry after saying I love you. Does it mean that we don’t truly love or is it because we don’t know how to love? I have asked myself this question countless times and each time I do, I get to know a different answer as to why we love. Permit me to ask you this simple but mind-blowing question; why do you love? You can decide not to take your time to have clear cut reasoning about this question but I bet you have never asked yourself this great question which if looked at with a sincere and open mind, you will understand why and how you do the things you do for love. Is love just enough or is there something else one must do to keep it going?
I have seen a lot of love and romantic movies ending in happiness and love forever, this leaves me to ask myself this question; does love always end in happiness? If for any reason we say that love is life then why do we make love to cry and weep even to the extent of committing suicide?
The truth is, a lot of us are yet to understand that love transcends what I call self desires. We can only say we love when we begin to put the feelings of the other person before ours.
We can only say we love when we forgive even the hardest of sins committed by the ones we love. Love as we all know endures forever but in this days and times we only understand love to be all sweet and rosy and if for any reason we encounter any challenges, we simply fall out of love and yet we say that love endures all things. When I at look the way a mother take care of her baby, I begin to wonder if we could define love in such a way but the problem we have is that we have already given a lot of definition to love. We have even stated it clearly that we have different types of love. For me, the different types of love we have are the reason why we see ourselves getting hurt by those who say they love us. Why can’t we have just one form of love?
Be it Agape, Philia, Philautia, Ero, Ludus, Storge or even Mania the truth is that all these different types of love have one thing in common which is they all talk about love. The differences we have given to love is what has brought us to this place where we cannot have a hold on love just because the other person may have done something wrong to us. What if all we have been thought about love is just the Agape form of love, what do you think will be the resultant effect? We would have a society where one will be able to stand for love even in death. If you take a look at the different types of love, you will understand that we are the cause of our problem. Let us look at Philia love; it is a type of love that has no romantic attraction. Now, let me ask you a question; when you find someone you love, is romance the first thing that comes to your mind? I have seen relationships that lasted for sometime before romance kicked in. what about Philautia love, it is known as self-love. Correct me if I’m wrong; can someone who does not have a love for himself show love for another? It is very difficult for one to give what he does not have.
If we cannot love someone better without loving ourselves first, why then do we accept self-love as a type of love instead of seeing love as one? Today, the whole world is celebrating love based on the sacrifice of St.Valentine yet we do not understand that love is all about sacrifice. In this day and generation, we only understand love when it keeps giving us and we don’t give back. We say we love but we do not mean what we say because if we do, our society and the world at large will be way better than how it is today. For me, love is a mandate for every human whether old or young. If we begin to see love as a necessity and not a luxury, we will come to a better understanding of what love truly is and how we can be able to give love and more love even to those who hate us.
As we celebrate love today, take a minute to reflect on the things you have done for love and see if you are on the right path. If you find out that you have not been doing it right when it comes to love then I urge you to take a step backwards so that love will take over the journey for you and as such lead you by the hand to the place where love will never cry or weep for heartbreak. Don’t forget that we are all here for each other. Love today, love tomorrow and love always. Happy Valentine's Day to you all.
