Don't Think You Understand Life.

Most times, life will feel very unfair to you if you're not winning. The reality is that life just follows different rules.

There are the actual rules. They are genuinely logical. However, they are a little more difficult and uncomfortable, which is why the majority of people never succeed in learning them.

Rule 1: Everything in life is a game.

That company you are employed by, do you enjoy your job? It would be wonderful if a computer program could take your place. Do you know that girlfriend or boyfriend, well-paying job, Nobel Prize, etc.? And someone else concurs. Even if we'd rather not admit it, we're all in a competitive environment. Most accomplishments are only noteworthy in comparison to others. You exceeded the average in your swimming, dancing, or Facebook Likes. Good work.

Of course, it hurts to believe that, which is why we keep telling one other the contrary. We are told to "just do your best." "You just have yourself to compete with." Platitudes like those have the amusing side effect of encouraging you to work harder against yourself. If winning didn't matter in competition, we would advise struggling kids to quit.

Thankfully, we don't live in a society where everyone has murdered one another to survive. The benefit of contemporary civilization is that there are enough chances and enough for everyone to get by, even if they don't actively compete.

But never believe the widespread misconception that there isn't a competition taking place. Dressing up helps people find relationships. To get a job, they interview. You will only lose if you deny that there is competition. Everything that is in demand is priced competitively. And only those who are determined to battle for it may get the finest.

Rule 2: Your actions, not your thoughts, determine your worth.

Society evaluates individuals based on their ability to help others. Can you remove a tumor, make a room full of strangers laugh, or rescue children from a burning house? There's worth in you right there. But that's not how we evaluate ourselves. By our thinking, we evaluate ourselves.

I'm a decent person. "I have ambition." I am superior to this. These frivolous inclinations may give us comfort at night, but they are not how the rest of the world perceives us. They don't even represent how we see others. Good intentions are irrelevant. Internal feelings of responsibility, love, and honor mean nothing. What precisely have you done for the world, and what can you do?

Skills are not valued according to their goodness. Any praise we get from society is a result of other people's self-centered viewpoints. A diligent cleaner receives less recognition from society than a cunning stockbroker. A supermodel receives more compensation than a cancer researcher. Why? mainly because they affect more individuals and are more uncommon.

We prefer to believe that the greatest workers are rewarded by society, but in fact, social reward is a network effect. The number of individuals you influence determines reward primarily. If your book is unpublished, you are nothing. The world is interested in you if you write Harry Potter books. If you save one life, you become a local hero; if you cure cancer, you become a legend. Be nude for one person and you may just make them smile; get naked for fifty million people and you could just be Kim Kardashian. Unfortunately, this rule holds for all abilities, including unsavory ones. You may detest this. You could become ill from it. Reality is unconcerned. You are assessed based on your capacity and the number of individuals you can influence. If you don't accept this, the world's judgment will seem to be very unjust.

Rule 3: Self-interest is how we define fairness.

People like making up moral standards. We have an inbuilt sense of right and wrong and want the rest of the world to abide by it, which is why there are judges in courtrooms and referees in sporting events. We learn this from our parents. We learn this from our instructors. Have some sweets and be a nice lad.

However, the reality is uncaring. Despite your best efforts, you failed the test. Despite your best efforts, you were not promoted. Despite your affection for her, she won't answer your calls. Life isn't unjust; your flawed sense of justice is the issue. Look that individual in the eye who you like but who didn't like you back. That is a full individual, someone having years of expertise being unrelated to you. A genuine individual who engages in yearly interactions with hundreds or thousands of others.

What are the chances that, out of all of them, they instinctively choose you as their life partner? Considering that you—what—exist? as a result of your feelings for them? Even if you may care about it, their choice has nothing to do with you. Similar to how we love to despise our parents, politicians, and employers. Their conclusions are incorrect. also foolish. Considering that they disagree with me! And they ought to! Because I am without a doubt the world's foremost expert on everything.

There are indeed some very bad authorities. However, not all of them are vile, self-centered creatures out to enrich themselves at your expense. Most people are just doing their best in circumstances that are different from your own. Perhaps they are aware of things you are not, such as the fact that your business will fail if they don't make a controversial decision. Perhaps they prioritize things differently than you do, such as long-term progress above instant gratification. However they may make you feel, other people's behaviors are not some cosmic verdict on who you are. They are only an effect of being alive.

Why is life unfair?

Fairness is not something we can genuinely achieve. It's only a mask for wishful thinking, in actuality. Can you imagine how crazy life would be if everything was "fair" to everyone? For fear of shattering someone's heart, no one could become smitten with anybody who wasn't the love of their life. Only if every employee were a villain would a company collapse. Only when both lovers passed away at once would relationships come to an end. Only evil individuals would experience raindrops.

Most of us are too focused on how we believe the world ought to operate to see how it does. However, accepting that fact could well be the key to releasing your grasp on reality and, with it, all of your potentials.