In life, there are two different sets of people namely; those who help to compound a negative situation and those who always bring a solution whenever they are called upon. As a human being, you may or may not know which category you belong to but you can only find out by asking yourself this personal question.
Do people reach out to you for a solution whenever they need it or do you find yourself in a situation where someone is trying to reach out to others in your presence? Remember the saying “you cannot give what you don’t have”. To some persons, it may sound like a fairy tale to them but I tell you that people will always relate to you based on what you can bring to the table at all times.
It is not good for one to blow his trumpet but for the sake of this article, I will seek your permission to blow mine. While I was growing up, I found out that my friends will always come around to tell me what mess they have put themselves into and each time this happens, I’m able to proffer solutions at all times. It got to a point that my parents noticed it also and this made them seek my opinion in the matters of the family even though I was the youngest in the house.
Although at some point it caused a bit of jealousy amongst my siblings because they felt my parents loved me more than them. To be sincere, I too thought as much but not until I got to a certain age that I began to understand that it was not any form of special likeness instead it was just because I always come up with a solution.
Most times it makes me feel awkward not because I do not want to render help but because it exposed me so much so that I started mingling with people who were much older than me and this somehow took away the better part of my childhood. Yes, I was receiving some kind of rewards ranging from not been sent on an errand by my seniors whenever I’m around them especially in school.
Some of my age mates will go to the extent of buying sweets for me just as a way to show appreciation. I remembered that I was always invited to every birthday that was happening in our community back them and this made me feel like a sort of a special guest of honour.
The reason I decided to blow my trumpet is just I wanted the point I will make to sink in. now the very salient question to ask is this; can people count on me? Most times we complain of neglect from friends and even family and it gets worst that we are remembered only when it is time to work or carry out one house chores or the other. This leaves us believing that we are not good enough but the truth is, we are more than good it is just a thing of not knowing where or the area we are good at. You cannot be all bad and no single goodness in you. This is the time when you have to look inwards to understand that which your creator deposited in you.
There is always a light of solution that shines inside of you but the ball you need to do is to learn how to see solutions in every situation instead of problems, faults and mistakes. Three things that will never allow you to see the solution in a messed up situations are;
· fault finding
· focusing on the problem
· apportioning blame
I will try to be very brief in explaining these three things because I believe most of us may have come across it but if you have not I urge you to read in-between the lines of this article if you want to make a positive difference in the life of your friends and families.
Fault finding
This is the worst enemy of the solution-finding process. What happens is that you will dissipate all the energy you have trying to find who was at fault or who caused the whole chaos? When this is going on, your mind and brain are forced to focus on dictating faults instead of solutions which was the reason why you were called in the first place but because you failed to utilize the opportunity, such a friend will not bother to reach out to you for a solution.
Focusing on the problem
Just imagine your friend reach out to you that she messed up by sleeping with another man and her husband has found out. Just like in every case, you will need to shut your mind off from the problem because the moment you dwell in it, you will limit yourself and your mind into thinking and checking the damages the problem will or have caused instead of thinking up a solution. This is a psychological fact and that is why when you visit the counsellor, he does not waste her time to dwell on the problem rather he will focus on solving it.
Apportioning blame
This is like a general sickness that is killing every one of us except those who have learnt how to think above it. Whenever you are called to help solve a problem, don’t ever allow this question to come out of your mouth or even dwell in your mind because if it does, you will not find the solution. Have you heard questions like; who threw the first punch? Where were you when she called you? Why did you talk back at him and so many others? The truth is that the answer to these questions should come in the cause of the discussion and not in the beginning. We always make the mistake of trying to point out who is to be blamed at the very beginning of the discussion and this will make the solution to be farfetched.
Solution finding is an act of peacemaking and not a time for separating the good from the bad. Once you are called to settle any dispute, do not give the impression that you have come to be the judge of the matter rather have it at the back of your mind that you are there to find a lasting solution and not to bring confusion.
If you believe that this article has been of great help to you, please feel free to share because a lot of people need to know these things I have outlined for better and peaceful resolutions.
Thank you for reading.
[Sponsors]
