I feel very sad whenever I hear the youths discussing marriage with the mindset that money is the ultimate gift any man should possess before talking going into marriage. The sadness I feel is not because I pity them rather it is because they have failed to learn from the mistakes of others especially most of our parents. A lot has been said about marriage that even a deaf person can hear what has been said yet, this generation of boys and girls do not understand and has refused to understand.
This is the major reason why our men are going into blood money, kidnapping, armed robbery etc just to make enough money with which they will use to marry a girl who will eventually divorce them one year or even a few months in the marriage. I decided to write once more about this topic because of what I heard from a friend who has been a marriage counsellor for more than five years. We were having a drink yesterday and at some point, we noticed a group of young men who walked into the lounge and he kept on looking at one of them as someone who he knew from somewhere.
Before I could ask him why he was looking at the guy, the young man’s gaze caught his and immediately the young man walked up to our table and greeted him. They exchanged pleasantries and then he said hi to me and went back to his table. As the guy left, my friend looked at me and told me that the guy has just divorced his wife. I was so shocked because I felt the young man was way too young to be married let alone being divorced. He told me that the reason for the divorce was because he caught his wife cheating on him with another man in a hotel. When I heard this, I moved to ask my friend if he has seen the wife, he said yes that their divorce was finalized just two weeks ago and even though he tried to reconcile them the young man said he would want to continue because he found out that the guy who the wife cheated on him with has been the wife’s boyfriend even before he married her.
When I heard this, I was completely dumbfounded because, to me, the young man looked very rich and well to do. This made me ask my friend a question I will ask anyone who cares to read through this article.
Why should we marry for money instead of love?
It has become common knowledge that we think and see marriage based on what we see in the movies where there are no troubles and set back, where we see love forever after but in reality marriage has its setbacks which one must be ready to work on with his/her partner without looking back or thinking of another option. For me the only time I will support divorce in a marriage is when there is a case of bartering either from the husband or the wife or even on the children. I will also support divorce when there is a case of infidelity which probably has become constant. Aside from these two things, I will suggest that both partners put heads together to solve every problem that poses a threat to their happiness in marriage.
In other to answer the question I asked above, I will use the things that have been happening around us to talk to us because I believe that we learn from others and it is known that a wise person learns from other people’s mistakes.
Money and Love
These two words have been misconstrued by a lot of persons especially the youths of our time. They believe that money comes before love and they also think that money can buy love. Well, it is a very pathetic situation because even the wealthy people in our societies today are also facing this same issue. For the mind of a youth who is working so hard to make ends meet, he believes that with his money he can be able to get any kind of girl he wants even if the said girl is in love with another man. This is also seen in the ladies. They believe that one’s there is money, love will grow even when they do not have any feelings of love for a man. Now, this has become our wrongdoing because it has eaten deep into the fabrics of our society.
Let me give us a glaring example of the fact that money cannot make a good marriage. Just last week, BILL & BELINDA GATES got divorced after years of marriage with kids who are now adults. The pertinent question to ask is this, if money can make a marriage sweet, why then did Bill and Belinda divorce? Everyone in the world today knows that this two has built an empire of wealth and affluence in the world and yet they still got divorced. For your information, they are not the only wealthy couples to be divorced. If you check online you will see a hand full of them and that will convince you that money does not make marriage sweet rather Love does.
My Candid Advice
As a young woman who is looking forward to marrying a wealthy man, I will advise you to look at that man from the side of love. Check if he loves you and ask yourself if you truly love him with or without the wealth. The reason for this is because I have seen a wealthy who got married and after some time he lost his wealth to either a natural disaster or a manmade mistake. If the lady who married the man married him because of his wealth, you already know what the outcome of the remaining days of the marriage will be. Do not keep love aside with the mindset that it will develop after marriage. Yes, it is no hidden truth that love can develop after marriage but in this situation where you said yes because of material gain, how sure are you the money will not cease after marriage?
This is the major reason why we see a lot of cheating, bartering and all sorts of misconduct in marriages in this era. We must make a strong decision if we want to take marriage to where it was during the days of our forefathers because marriage has lost its value in our time. Don’t forget that there is no law anywhere which states that you must marry either as a man or a woman. Let us think love, act love and share love in all that we do because love is the only essence for which we were created.
I love you all. Please stay safe covid19 is real.
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