"Give it to me! It's mine!" Do you know these words? Do you express your children's feelings when you are asked to share things with others? This may be the case if the child shows signs of selfishness and obsession with his assets.
Parents' concerns arise naturally when their children develop and exhibit these undesirable tendencies. But what can parents do to prevent these features? How can children be taught to be liberal, open and generous?
Generosity should be taught
The needs and needs of a newborn are of utmost importance to him. He does not even realize how many sleepless nights his parents spend to keep him well fed, dry and with the care he needs. Of course, over time, the child will become aware of other people. But you have to learn generosity and other admirable qualities.
The age at which these instructions can be registered varies from child to child. When children are of school age, there are some peers and ready for friendship and all this means. But other children of the same age may not have adapted in this way. They cling to the characteristics of early childhood. The task of teaching these children is more difficult, especially if the teenager is an only child.
Many children from large families are forced to learn that their individual needs and needs are not of the utmost importance. From a young age, they learn to share food, clothing, and other material things, if not their thoughts, with their siblings and other family members. And in general, these children develop into balanced, balanced and mature people.
And are your children generous or selfish, open or possessive, kind or close? When was the last time you looked at them objectively? "How is it possible to do this while you are still young and flexible?" An easy way is to watch them play with other children. Often a selfish child will be very possessive of his toys and even refuse to let other children touch them. Still, he wants to play with them and get angry even if it is not given to him. On the other hand, the generous child is generally quite willing to share his things with others. Some are even impatient. They understand the needs of less happy children and are willing to share without their parents asking.
Interestingly, it is often observed that this type of child usually comes from a home where the parents are an example. He also gets a lot of affection at home. Therefore, the security you feel does not depend on the material things you can hold on to. He trusts his parents' love and knows that he is safe in a loving family arrangement. Does this apply to your children?
What can parents do?
One of the most important factors in helping children become generous and sociable is the continuous encouragement from their parents. Think in this regard of a successful mother of four. You sit down and talk to your children as soon as they understand. Mother lovingly helps everyone to realize that the siblings' family arrangement is a valuable gift from God and that they should take care of each other as they grow older. The elderly help the little ones when they arrive. She emphasizes the violent and loveless behavior of the children around her and shows young people how they can be different. When your children deviate from the normal path, remember it patiently. This new mom also allows them to solve their problems with each other whenever possible. He said, "I do not think sibling jealousy is natural. I see no reason for the brothers to fight and fight forever. I tried to eradicate these actions in our family and give each child the love and attention they need. It's not easy, but it was worth it. This approach really works because it points out that the fights between certain siblings in that particular house are often absent.
Another couple with a large family, including a deceased son, were able to raise their children in a loving and generous environment. Unlike what can happen in similar families, the deceased child is encouraged and expected to be generous to his older and younger siblings. However, this is not the center of attention. You will also not be neglected or feel inferior to others. The loving nature of this child, and especially his concern for children he has never met, warms the hearts of those who know him. The mother said that she and her husband expected their children to love each other. Instead of expressing surprise when their children show so much love and give them rewards or even bribes, these parents show silent surprise and worry when their children are not treated with love. This attitude "resonates" with children without long sermons or harsh blows.
Is this how you treat your children? Or do you think all the selfishness you notice in them is just a phase that they are going through and that will grow? Many parents felt this to find that the need to do something about their child's selfishness was rooted in the change.
The first time parents notice such a negative trend, they can work to eradicate it quickly. Mothers in particular should make such efforts, as they are usually more than the baby with the baby. But they have to be in harmony with their husbands to make their children feel safe. Nothing can make a child more fearful and possessive than feeling insecure about their parents' love for each other. As the child feels his division, he will likely become more and more dependent on material objects, things that he is comfortable with and can hold on to. The child is also quite closed in terms of personality and contact with others.
Sometimes parents get discouraged. because no matter what you do, there are no good results. At least it seems. However, the things parents do impress the child. For example, when a man remembers his childhood, he happily remembers an event that happened when he was about eight years old. She said, “I remember saving my money and buying several of my favorite cakes. I would go alone and sit under a tree and eat all that candy. As soon as I bought the candies, only my mother knew. Of course, he asked me to give something to my brothers and sisters. I remember how horrified I was at the idea because my siblings won the candy I had. After a few scared moments as they acted like they were going to gobble up all of my candy, they returned most of my candy and I left. But after that I remember thinking about them more than I bought anything. ""
He also remembered an argument he had with a younger brother over a cake that was going to have exactly the largest piece. Her father solved the problem by making a rule. From there, one would cut and the other would have the first choice. The result? Each of them has developed the ability to cut equal pieces. However, over time they became less precise and a more generous spirit prevailed.
The only child
Since an only child has no siblings to spend time and share with, they often become very greedy and self-centered. If this option is not checked, this selfish tendency manifests itself in adulthood. These children can become people who always want the best seat, the first choice of food, etc.
What can be done to help an only child? A worried mother saw what some saw as a radical attitude to her six-year-old son's growing selfishness. Talking to him did not work. Then another plan began. Together with his mother (the three lived together) he decided that he knew how much he was dependent on them for food, protection, clothes, etc. When he wore something that was theirs, she and her grandmother reminded him that it was not his. He soon realized that what was truly "his" was his gift. It was their property and they were simply allowed to use it. At no point did the boy seem to get the point. Without their request, he began to share more and more with them what was "his". This spread to his growing circle of friends. When this mother saw her son play, she noticed his new attitude, even though it was initially reluctant, to share things with his peers. Soon, generosity became more and more a part of this. of his personality, especially when he saw how much his mother, grandmother and other people liked him. And are not all children hungry for affection and acceptance? You are safe and an only child is no exception.
A good attitude is important
It goes without saying that no parent wants to raise a selfish child. But strangely enough, parents sometimes add to their children's selfishness. Parents' attitudes can promote greed in sons and daughters. Some parents think that they want their children to have everything they lost growing up. If you want to work hard in your youth, you want your children to have a simple life. Have you ever heard such expressions? Well, at first glance, this way of thinking may seem quite harmless. However, further research reveals serious shortcomings in these considerations. Parents with this attitude do not realize that the hard work, sacrifice, and deprivation they suffered early in life were often factors that helped them become stronger and more mature. If you deny your children at least some of these experiences, they may not be able to develop similar characteristics.
There is no doubt that when parents give their children what they want, when they want, these young people grow up with the conviction that everyone will treat them equally. When children get the money they want, they may never feel guilty about earning anything for themselves. You will also not be willing to give to others. If parents do everything for their children, their children rarely take the initiative. Instead, they expect others to take responsibility for them. It all depends on how parents train and discipline their children when they are young. You do not agree
Parents who identify material things with happiness teach their children to communicate the opposite: unhappiness and frustration. What a sad legacy to pass on to your children!
On the other hand, loving parents want their children to be independent, trustworthy, loving, and kind men and women. And your role as a parent is crucial to achieving that goal. Children generally do one of two things: what they are taught or what they are allowed to do. They do not become selfish and spoiled by receiving love, affection and careful discipline. Children often become selfish and selfish when they get very little or nothing.
As children grow, they are often the result of the education, discipline, and love (or lack thereof) they have received from their parents. If they are right, the parents can "take the reins", so to speak. Otherwise, unfortunately, they have to take a lot of blame. If the effort is made while the children are small, it will generally get good results. As the Bible says, “Train the child to be fit for him; Even when he grows up, he does not give up. (Proverbs 22: 6) Of course, this principle also applies to girls.