The Unhappy Home.

Hello fellas, it's been a while since my last article. That is due to all the end-of-Ramadan activities, and Eid. And also my other personal activities that kept me busy.

But I'm here now @wakeupkitty@wakeupkitty

To continue, from where I stopped in my last article, Unhappy Family.

A home filled with abuse is like a home of a spider because a spider's home is the home with the most abuse.

I said, "Every family starts with a happy couple, filled with love, kindness, and caring for one another." Along the way, they happened to lose their ways and begin to destroy the family.

Here is my second opinion. While some started with a sweet beginning others had it rough from the first day of marriage. This is based on a particular family story that I observed.

First, the wife has to deal with the in-laws, and then the husband's mistreatment, towards her. Picture a wife like this, who have had to endure torture from in-laws (mother in-law and Sister In-laws)and also from her husband at the same time. She is far from her own family and friends and has no one to fight for her. It is Hell on three sides.

Although the husband defends her against his own family's wickedness most of the time or whenever he's around, she also has to endure his temper and drama. He is a confused man with a bad temper and is not gentle or kind. He is nice sometimes but most times a monster. I guess an apple doesn't fall far from the tree.

The wife is such a sweet soul, loving, kind, peaceful, and forgiving. She endured all the pain, mistreatment, threats, and wickedness from her husband's family and eventually, they learned to live peacefully with her and some grew to love her. I'd say she is a very very strong woman.

She was able to raise six children with her husband and continued to struggle with witnessing and enduring more pain with each kid she birthed in that house. The father is very strict, harsh and brutal with the kids, especially with the firstborn and the second child. His youngest children had it soft, I guess maybe the father started getting old and went soft. The worst part of it all is the man is good at humiliating his children and their mother.

Now I hope you all see how this family may have a hard time becoming a happy family. If only the father or husband had a different kind of heart and a better mindset in showing utmost love and care to his family, things could have been different and the damage may have been less damaging. But That is not the case. I think he has zero emotional intelligence.

Now that the man is going all soft and seemingly nice and less strict and less violent, he seem kinda innocent. Yet it wouldn't change the trauma and pain that his oldest sons and their mother had to go through. He (the father) has single handedly destroyed his own family and he hasn't realised it yet. Or at least he has made his own family despised him. The damage has already been done.

This is the kind of mistakes some Nigerian fathers make. Their pride, ego, strictness and lack of social and emotional intelligence make them fail to understand how their actions affects their family or even realize they are doing something wrong before it is too late.

Fathers are suppose to be role models to their sons but how can they be the right role models if they are not good to their own families? There's very wise saying which states " The best of men are those who are best to their wives and the best of them are those who are best to their families". You can only be best to your families if they feel safe with you, love you and care for you because they believe deeply in you. They will be a reflection of who you are to them.

Now his two oldest son have a grudge against their father which they grew up with and it will be hard for that to change.

#DanLawan

16th April, 2024.