Tanechka Svatova had three taboos - stirring vodka with champagne, getting to know each other on the street and traveling in buses with paired numbers. The latter was the easiest to explain. In her usual route, such an insidious bus was listed only one, thirty-third, drove his robber-looking abrek with a huge nose and getting into his cabin seemed already an insanely adventurous adventure in itself. Even to the subway. No thanks, better on foot.
Mom's friend enlightened the girl about vodka and champagne. Involuntarily, of course. A long time ago, a little girl Tanechka heard a story full of terrible horror, but the impression remained for the rest of her life.
What about dating in the open air ... Why are we here, taboo and taboo, and enough excuses!
After all, what is, in essence, the young lady Svatova, who cannot be called otherwise than Tanechka? A pretty face, light curls, a nice figure (thanks to my beloved table tennis) and such a modest sprout (exactly the shoulder of an average office man), which in any brutal society evoked more paternal and sisterly feelings than any other attraction.
Arriving at the office serpentarium, Tanya naturally fell under the wing of Tamara Leopoldovna, chief accountant by position and matriarch by vocation. "Queen Tamara" ruled on the sidelines with an iron hand, and the girl's life flowed peacefully and completely cloudless. Although monotonously boring.
“Well, you have to pay for everything…” - Tanya thought, sniffing champagne in her half-empty glass for the umpteenth time. She was embarrassed to sip it in big gulps, and to run for a supplement - so you instantly get addicted to it ...
On a vigorous corporate party, the gendir was generous on the occasion of the company's tenth anniversary. The program of the evening included a buffet table, small gifts for employees, speeches and humorous performances on a production theme. All week before the event, the office people stood on their ears, discussing the menu and outfits, intrigues and scandals. Svatova reminded herself of the fabulous Little Mermaid, sitting on a rock in the middle of a stormy sea and only sometimes showered with salt spray and wet algal tails.
By the middle of the evening it was possible to admit that the event was a success. The people got drunk together, music and voices naturally competed in volume, and men's hands opened like spring buds - merrily and silly. When a couple of vodka bottles appeared on the clean-robbed table, Tanya, obeying the iron taboo number two, finally decided to leave the den of vice. "All the same, they won't pour it!" - muttered an inner voice.
She put the empty glass on the first table that came up and headed to the closet.
It was dark outside, almost ancient lanterns were shining softly. Glorious bubbles of champagne were swarming inside like sparrows, and Tanechka was even somewhat annoyed that everything ended the way it ended. She jumped a little on one leg on the colored tiles, waving a light "gauze" scarf. I wanted something like that, but I didn't want to go home at all.
Something similar, as if ordered, immediately rustled with tires and flashed with lights. The bus that rolled up opened the doors and stood expectantly. Tanya, of course, immediately thought that it would be wrong to walk along the dark street, because "you never know who" will certainly stick to get acquainted, but immediately with chagrin she saw the blinking board with the route number. Thirty-third, be it wrong. So inappropriate ... but by the way ... and this time the driver is a different, good-natured-looking elderly guy ... well, why not just break this stupid taboo a little bit? That's why??? And she resolutely waved her handbag and tapped her heels into the brand new salon.
The doors closed and the bus rolled away.
The cabin was quietly desolate. In the far corner sat a vulgar-looking girl, boredly polishing her bright scarlet nails with a nail file. By the window, a fat man snored with his mouth open, lounging on a seat and a half. The old lady "God's dandelion" was either dozing, or she simply closed her eyes so as not to see the hateful reality and unpleasant neighbors in public, unfortunately, transport.
Not finding anything defiantly suspicious, Tanya settled down at the window and began to look at the blurry lights, bright windows of shops and cafes, people passing by and the slow, like whale-backs, roofs of cars, at exploding motorcycles, sweeping into the distance, like mad hippos ...
"Hmm ... why hippos?" - A slow, veiled-tailed thought emerged in my mind.
Tanya was warm and comfortable, the bus rocked gently on the waves of the evening streets.
“I don’t know ... maybe because they are rushing to it is not clear where…” - she answered thoughts and she, displeased opening her mouth, went into the depths.
Suddenly, the bus jumped and the girl thoroughly shook herself with it. As if colored pieces of a mosaic jumped around her, forming a new picture. The girl peered into the landscape outside the window - the beautiful streets had disappeared, trampled by shabby houses with broken glass. Expensive shiny cars were replaced by dirty and worn rattle cars. A chill of anxiety crept behind the collar.
“But you shouldn't have got on this bus,” she told herself involuntarily.
The damned thirty-third rushed faster and faster, not even thinking to slow down at stops. I flew at a red traffic light, with a squeal of tires, leaning to one side, I passed turns. Tanya was shaking, she grabbed the handrail and was very afraid to get up and fly away.
In one corner, she caught sight of the driver's reflection in the windshield. Instead of a swarthy elderly uncle, a bald skull with yellowed remnants of skin stared at her. The bus shook and the skeleton's jaw clicked loudly. Tanya almost bit her tongue.
- Hey, be quiet, dead! - the voice rattled. - Where are you driving? You scare fresh meat ...
The bus went smoother. Tanya looked around.
The fat man who woke up, licking fleshly, tied a dirty handkerchief under his three chins. The dandelion granny looked at the girl affectionately, laughing a little.
- Well, what did she get herself into? Look, wet ... You are more cheerful, look more cheerful. Serotoninchik, it adds taste. No herbs are needed. Oh, where right now to get some good herbs? Everything was dirtied by the damned Herods, Koscheyushka is not on them!
- Okay, grandma, lament something, - the indecent girl lazily drawled. Now she had given up filing her nails, and the long scarlet blades inspired fear far more than grandma's muttering. The girl bared her teeth, exposing sharp fangs. Tanya vividly imagined how these claws and teeth would sink into her white skin and whined softly.
The vampire rose smoothly and walked forward. A man, rubbing his plump hands, settled down next to him.
Suddenly, the bus bent down, entering a turn, and the hog fell on a neighbor. Tanya jumped forward without hesitation, as if after a flying away ball in a familiar ping-pong, and smeared her handbag over his ear. The fat man waved his hands and almost caught the handrail, but his sweaty fingers slipped and he fell on the girl, clutching her like a favorite Yesenin tree.
While the vampire was getting out from under the bulky mascara, Tanya, encouraged by the unexpected success, tore out a heavy fire extinguisher from the nest and, with all her might, with both hands, grunt her head. The vampire just had time to toss up her sharp stinging nails, but the balloon crumpled them and hit her temple. The girl sank to the floor and threw her head under the seat. True, and the fire extinguisher flew there too.
Left unarmed, Tanya retreated in confusion. Borov approached gloomily, getting up and stepping over the motionless body of his partner. The grandmother kept behind, in the arms. Svatova looked around in search of weapons or a way to escape - well, at least something! The purse was lying on the floor and there was no time to pick it up.
Finally she rested her back on the row of seats. Everything. In the last hope, a hand slipped into a pocket of a dress and fingers groped for a tiny bottle - a gift from the family.
“Spirits! Well, right now, I will! .. "
And only the hog, grinning, got very close, Tanya with a triumphant cry "Here you are !!!" sprinkled expensive French perfume right in his eye.
The fat man grabbed his face, the girl slipped under the enemy's hand, grabbed her handbag and began to beat him on the head, on the muzzles, like a racket - from right to left, from top to bottom, and again, and again! The purse opened, the golden lock of the fake Wootton left long red stripes on the villain's plump hands, and Tanya beat and beat him non-stop. Hog, stunned, fell to the floor, not trying to resist her rage.
Out of the corner of her eye, noticing that the witch was coming up from behind, the girl bent down and kicked her sharply, as if she had done it thousands of times. The grandmother, folded in half from the impact, flew into the passage.
Tanya grabbed the fat man's ear with sharp nails and, twisting it more painfully, screamed fiercely:
- Will you still bother, you brute ?! Will you, will you ???
The kid was humming something, shaking his head.
- Will, will, will ...
Then everything swam before my eyes, as if hiding in a cinematic fog. Tanya still managed to feel the taste of the won final, a delightful victory torn out before an almost inevitable defeat, as the head of the defeated enemy smoothly turned into the face of the driver, lightly shaking her by the shoulder. The girl herself was sitting peacefully on the seat, her cheek against the window pane.
- Uh-uh, beauty, will you go out? We arrived ...
Svatova listlessly brushed aside the glamor. The driver (a normal, lively person, not the former creepy monster) did not disappear anywhere, but only hesitantly smiled with his golden teeth. The bus was standing, the salon was empty.
“What is this, a dream? Well, business ... "
She rubbed her eyes.
- Oh, what is this number?
“Thirty-six,” the driver replied proudly.
- And the thirty-third? The girl asked anxiously.
- So they took it off, - he waved his hand. - It's been two weeks now.
- Yeah ...
- Are you going to leave, or to the subway now?
- To the metro, - Tanya agreed rather.
- Well, that's nice, and right ...
The driver went to his room, the doors closed with a light smack, and the bus started. Tanya rode, looked out the window and, smiling, thought: "What a good thing, these taboos!"