Your Behavior

There a three main types of behavior, namely: aggressive behavior, assertive behavior and passive behavior. If someone asks you to go see a movie you don’t want to see, you could respond by saying ‘You don’t want to see that rubbish, do you? I am not wasting my money on that.’ That’s being aggressive. Alternatively, you could say ‘Thanks for asking me, but I don’t want to. It’s not my sort of movie. ’ That’s being assertive. Or you could say, ‘Alright then’ and go along even though you don’t want to. That’s being passive.

People who are aggressive state their feelings directly, in a selfish way, without respecting the feelings of others.

People who are assertive have the confidence to say what they want or what they feel, and explains why, acknowledging and respecting other people’s feelings.

People who is passive do not express their feelings, often because they lack the confidence to stand up to other people or because they want to avoid any conflict.

Most people’s behavior varies. Sometimes they are aggressive, sometimes assertive and sometimes passive. But if you are constantly being aggressive, you may find people accusing you of being rude and arrogant, and if you are constantly being passive you may feel angry and frustrated inside because you have not expressed what you really feel.

There are times when we all wish we had handled a situation better. We come away feeling angry, frustrated or ashamed. How many times, for instance, have you said ‘Yes’ to someone just because it’s easier than saying ‘No’? Or given someone the wrong idea because you couldn’t come out straight and say what you felt?

There is great pressure on people to conform to what others expect or want of them. It can take a lot of courage to stand out in a minority and say no. Learning to be assertive is about having the confidence to say what you really feel without being aggressive or rude. If you don’t assert yourself, it will affect your life at home, at school, at work and every other place you find yourself. People will not take you seriously if you cannot say what you want or what you feel.