To find the person who is really “the one”, know the difference between what you can’t live without, versus what you’d like. The following exercise can help.
Select five qualities or characteristics in descending order that feel most important to you in a lover. For example: neat, humorous, adventurous, considerate, emotionally open, athletic, attractive and/or stylish, protective, creative, conversational, smart affectionate, monetarily successful, well known, well respected, popular charismatic, maternal/paternal, spiritual, nurturing, empowering.
As you consider each characteristic, ask yourself whether it energizes, calms, and stirs you emotionally. Is the experience pleasant, unpleasant, or neutral?
A desire will be fleeting or rather superficial, while a need will register at a deeper feeling level.
Do the exercise several times to get an even clearer understanding of the differences between your desires and your felt needs in love.
Does this person you think you’re in love with fulfill these needs?
All this above listed should be considered to what we want or what you need to feel loved