Let the three gauges of well-being inform you about the romantic choices you make. If you feel energized, mentally clear, and more loving generally, you’re in a relationship with a future.
Let your lover know what you feel. If you’re going to communicate anything, express what you feel—as it defines who you are. If you pretend to be someone or something you’re not, you’ll never feel loved.
Listen from emotional experience. Attune to your lover’s feelings as you listen to his or her words.
Show the support and love that your lover needs. One person may find a suggestion or a helping hand useful or comforting; another person may find the same action intrusive. Not everyone likes to be touched in the same way, enjoys being affectionate in public, or responds the same way to receiving gifts. Let empathy guide you.
When in doubt, ask. Love doesn’t grant that you’ll know everything. If you don’t ask how your lover feels about something, you’ll never know.
Be prepared to work at the relationship. Why do so many people believe their work is done once they’ve found true love? Relationships grow and thrive with attention, or wither and die of neglect.
Learn from your lover. Active awareness keeps you from relying on past assumptions.
Watch out for emotional memories. Emotional remainders of past hurts are most dangerous with those we love today.
Remember that the only problem with making mistakes is not admitting it. The complexities of relationships guarantee error, but even mistakes are opportunities for growth if met without blame.
Use change as an opportunity to grow your relationship. Any change is stressful, but it is also an opportunity to renew and revitalize your relationship.
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