Why do teens act the way they do?
A teenager's parenting is never easy. You may feel tired at night as you lie awake, worried about where your child is, who they're with, and what they're doing. You can despair, not to mention the moodiness, the strong feelings, and the impulsive and reckless actions over failed attempts to communicate, the constant battles, and the open defiance.
It may be difficult to believe sometimes, but no, your teenager is not an alien being from a distant world. They're wired differently, though. The brain of an adolescent is still actively evolving, and thus processes information differently than the brain of a mature adult. The frontal cortex is restructured during the adolescent years, creating new synapses at an unprecedented pace, while the entire brain does not achieve full maturity until around the mid-20s, the portion of the brain used to regulate emotions, make decisions, reason, and suppress inhibitions.
Your teen may be taller than you and may seem mature in some ways, but on an adult level, they are also simply unable to think things through. During the physical changes of adolescence, hormones released can complicate things further. Today, these biological differences do not justify the bad acts of teenagers or absolve them from responsibility for their conduct, but they do help understand why adolescents behave so impulsively or frustrate parents and teachers with their poor choices, social anxiety, and rebelliousness. Understanding the growth of teenagers will help you find ways to remain connected and solve challenges along with your teenager.
It is also important to note that while teenagers are people with distinctive characters and their own likes and dislikes, certain characteristics are common. They still need your attention and to feel loved by you, no matter how emotionally your teen tends to withdraw from you, no matter how independent your teen becomes, or how troubled your teen becomes.
When typical teen behavior becomes troubled teen behavior
Many experience behavioral changes that can appear bizarre and uncertain to parents as adolescents begin to claim their independence and discover their own identity. Within 20 yards of you, your small, obedient child who once could not bear to be separated from you will not be seen now, and greets all you say with a roll of eyes or the slam of a door. They are the acts of a typical teenager, as painful as this may be for parents to bear.
On the other hand, a depressed teenager experiences mental, emotional, or learning difficulties beyond normal teenage problems. At-risk activities, including alcohol, substance use, sex, abuse, skipping school, self-harming, shoplifting, or other criminal acts, can be committed repeatedly. Or they may display signs such as depression, anxiety, or eating disorders of mental health issues. Although any repetitive negative behaviour may be a sign of underlying trouble, it is crucial for parents to consider which behaviors during teenage development are common, and which can lead to more serious problems.
Seeking professional help for a troubled teen
Consult a doctor, psychologist, therapist, or other mental health provider to help find suitable care if you notice Red Flag habits in your teenager.
However, even though you seek professional assistance, it doesn't mean the work is done-just it's started. There are several steps you can take at home to support your teenager and deepen the relationship between you, as detailed below. And to begin putting them into effect, you do not need to wait for a diagnosis.
Bear in mind that whatever struggles your teen is having, it's not an indication that as a parent you've failed somehow. Focus on your teen's current needs instead of attempting to allocate blame for the situation. The first step is to find a way to interact emotionally and socially with what they are experiencing.