Knowing a Ton of People

It's crazy if you were to look at the world from my point of view. I have many friends, and strangers who know that I'm just an entrepreneur. That's pretty much all they know, and this is referring to thousands of people who know who I am, but yet... They still don't know me.
I can go to the store and it's the same scenario. I always see somebody whether it's someone from school.. perhaps someone who follows me on social media who recognizes me to say hello.. etc.

Serves No Benefit

I notice that there are people in this world who only befriends people who have something they can benefit from. For example, Lets say I'm a really smart guy with a bunch of tips n tricks up my sleeve, this individual will befriend me to milk me for my skills that could benefit him... but give minimal in return friendship wise. The VALUE of what he considers a friend is the VALUE he can take from someone. Now, I'm not saying he's a bad person. This is just simply who he is. Morally, it goes against the ethics and morals I was taught... But seeing how trying to do the right thing doesn't always work, and seeing manipulation blow him up financially.. makes me REALLY WONDER how to win at life.
Would you rather have a friend who is there as a ride or die, broke or not.. and is a true true friend to your dying breath who will help you get through anything in life?
Or would you rather have a ton of friends, as you move through life, taking all kinds of benefits from people who have knowledge to offer.... just to end up being successful but never have any "real" friends?

Who I am

I am a person who will give more than I can afford to give. I will give a homeless person the jacket off my back to keep him warm knowing I can always buy a new one. I've been told I am one of the most giving person they've ever met.. and that means a lot!
And yet.. Even though I know tons of people, and people know me... There's very very little people who "actually know me"...
I realize I have been so lonely... for so long.. that I often wonder at times how do I fix this? I don't want to be manipulative to people... and become this user who only uses people for what kind of benefits I can take from them... That's ethically, and morally wrong. Or is it?
Does "friendship" even matter these days... as we get older? Because at the end of the day we're all just trying to eat, make money, and provide and make sure we have enough in our later days if we're blessed enough to have them...
I value friendships the way kids do... They love their friends like a brother, sister, etc.
But that's not the same affection, care, or gratitude I receive when meeting people like that anymore.

What Life's About

Now a days.. It's all about competition... Who makes the most money, who's going to get the most hours at a 9 to 5 job... Who's going to get that next promotion... Who found the most "tricks" to cheat through life.. I mean the list goes on and on... and out of 100 people I'll see maybe 2 or 3... people.. share genuine friendships that are unbreakable bonds.
So is it normal to think that as we get older true friendships shouldn't matter?
The new generation will meet a friend and start calling them my best friend within 2 weeks and it's mind blowing lol.

Kids, Girl, Home, Life

I have 4 kids who I'd do anything for. David, Emma, Natalie, & Dallas. My girl who is the mother of my son is truly the best thing to ever happen to me.. and at the end of the day.. Even though she can recall that when my friend's are in town or not busy... I'll go hangout with them but mostly just as "escape" from getting out of the house....
But I still have an overwhelming amount of loneliness feeling knowing I have a family... But yet.. I still feel this dark cloud above me.. and I confuse it for a lot of things. I am definitely a struggling entrepreneur... and that's why I question the loneliness, I question if friendships even matter these days, I question so much..
Do friends matter, and describing loneliness are obviously 2 different subjects... but they're important to me because I don't know how to proceed knowing being a GOOD friend to people obviously doesn't work well these days.. and being manipulative.. is just not in my character.
I miss having someone to genuinely talk to... without judgement, without yelling, screaming, or being told I am stupid... Because that's all I ever hear.
Does anyone else have issues opening up? I write these articles simply to see who can relate to me. I'm definitely not trying to please EVERY-reader, that would be impossible.
I just want to get rid of this feeling of deep loneliness. I want to find my purpose. I want to succeed and be something my girl, kids, and family can be proud of....
and if you're relating to this.. I hope you find your purpose too. You are worthy... Don't ever think you aren't. Some just find it sooner than others, and some don't find it till they're much older...
If you feel like this.. you have to join with me and say, "our time will come"... and it will. Speak it into existence.

Thank you for reading and God bless.