When do you know you're ready

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Avatar for Crownofbeauty
2 years ago

I met a guy online and was pressuring me on marriage,at first I thought it was a joke so I decided to play along. We chatted and call for few days before he made mention coming over to visit me in my state. We are very far from each other,living in different states. I ask why he wanted to visit and he said to know me in person since I am going to be his wife soon. I laughed 😅 because I only thought it was only a joke when we first started. We talk to length but I told him I'm not ready, then he ask me when I will be ready. I couldn't answer the question because I have never had the thought of getting married.

Come to think of it, as a man when do you think you're ready for marriage and as a woman when do you think it the right time to say you're ready. Is it by age or finance or maturity or what shows you're ready.

I spoke with a customer friend yesterday morning and ask him the question and he smile. We spoke a lot about it and we could not even conclude on the topic till this morning. He is married so it make it more interesting for me. He said when one is mature then he/she is ready,I objected him then he make mention of financially stability I accepted partially because it is possible you are financially capable and still not ready. In all, the discussions led to another and he narrated his own story to me..........

The man narrating

I met my first wife when I was in secondary school, I was in ss3 and she was in just then. We were just friends till after my secondary education so we started dating. I processed my admission and I had to leave for school in another state. We got separated for 10years,we met again during a festive period and started our relationship again. She was so adorable, my family were convinced by her character that she's a good wife for me. She had a good job but I was only struggling, she pleaded we got married,I refused because I had not enough to take care of her yet,she went to my family and complain to them, my family persuaded me to marry her because she's the best of her kind. We got married eventually,on our wedding day my dad called me and told me this "my son,marriage is not an easy task, no matter what happen in your home do not come to me and your mother to report, do not go to your in-laws to report, settle it amicably with your wife and no third party", I was confuse but understand what he said that day. Three days after the wedding, my wife saw her period, after the period I calculated her ovulation and met with her,after two months she told me she hasn't seen her period and I told her she was pregnant, she didn't believe so she went to the hospital to confirm and it was possible. How I wish she didn't know 😕 😔 she was pregnant, ever after she started these behaviour that I do not understand, she nags all the time,she fraustrate me in the house, she fight me everyday that I can't even sleep in the house,there was a day I left the house half naked. I can't report to my family all that had been happening, I keep it to myself until one faithful day unknown to me all her family came to the house and pack her things saying she had been complaining to them how I maltreated her,beat her up everyday, I was shocked but can't say anything because my family wasn't there. I called my dad and ask him to come over before her wife and her family pack her things, when my dad came, he was surprised to hear what had happened, then I gave an evidence of what have been happening to me, my day ask my in-laws if they forgot what he told them on the day of the wedding not to separate the couple, that any time any of us (wife/husband) come over to report they should send them back and ask them to settle their differences within themselves. To cut the long story short we had a divorce.

I waited for a while until my family started pressurising me to get married again,so I decided to give it a trier. I met another woman I like alot but accepted to marry her because she's an orphan. I will say her own is even more than that of my first wife.

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Nobody know s when it right or wrong time,even if you are financially capable does not still guarantee your happiness in marriage. Both man and woman have different characters after marriage which sometimes look like you never know the person. Only hope that everything all works well, you guys understand each other a bit and always ask for the wisdom of God in everything you both see in your marriage

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Avatar for Crownofbeauty
2 years ago

Comments

I want to believe that we will surely know when its time. And sometimes when we want it, it doesn't come. This is more true for the ladies espe down here, where men are the ones that must make the first move. If no man comes, then no marriage even if you are ready. So one can be ready, but no one is ready for them .

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2 years ago

I don't really believe in online relationship, as you can't tell if the person is totally open about who they claim they are.

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2 years ago