Many couples today go into marriage thinking marriage is all about living together as couples,having sex and giving birth to children. Young people meet each other and they feel like after spending some years together they can go into marriage. But,do you understand your partner so well,do you know your partner well enough, do you think of what might be of you or your partner in future. Do you tried to ask your partner if the true worse come in marriage can they still stay forever.
Some women think getting married is buying white dress to show off on their wedding day,some think getting married to a rich man won't give them problem,some even believe after the wedding day na me and my husband so we can do it alone hhahaahahhahaahahhah(I laugh). Most marriages of the 20s are able to understand the word 'For better For worse ' hmmmmm but this 21st century marriages are mostly based on what you have to offer me in the marriage and when you can't offer me anymore they start misbehaving,looking out to get another means of getting what their partner can't offer anymore.
Some married out of pity
My friend came back from America and went to his home town to visit his dad then he met this girl at the café,she was only a jambite,young and beautiful. My friend talk to her and they agreed to meet . The girl visited him at his dad's place and they had fun,the guy was surprised a young girl like that already had sex not once but countless times (hope you understand). They had fun only once and the guy travelled back to live in lagos. Five to six months later he received a call from the girl's mum telling him they want to see him,he was surprised and told them he will come to home. When he came he saw the girl was pregnant, the mum said he owns the pregnancy. He was like how, 'we only had sex once so how come she is pregnant for me,I'm not even the first to go in,so how come the pregnancy is mine'. He calculated the time he last came home and and see that he could truly be,he told the parent he accept the pregnancy but the problem is that from the kind of family he came from,if the child is not his own both mother and child will die during labour. The mother was scared so she told my friend to go. My friend got home and told his dad about it and the dad ask if he love the girl he said yes so they both agreed to visit the following day.
When they got there they met nobody in the house,the went the following day the same thing nobody in the house,a day after nobody. For four days they met nobody. On the fifth day it was only my friend that went ,on getting there he met the girl and saw her stomach already flat,he ask about the pregnancy and the girl said her mum took her to abort it. My friend cried out like a baby. The girl felt guilt in her,was crying also. The guy left for his dad's place but before he could sit he saw the girl's mum call on his phone and she told him the girl fainted. He rushed down there ,took her to the hospital and the doctor said the pregnancy wasn't aborted well so they have to operate it again. It was done successfully,the mum begged the guy and ask both to stay away from each other. But before my friend got home the girl is in his house again,the girl said she want him,that she love him,she was crying 😢 that the guy pited her,so he accepted. They both moved to lagos and start enjoying themselves, three month again she got pregnant,they kept it away from the mother till it 8 months, the mother rejected her,and the guy ignored it. When she gave birth,three days after the naming ceremony the mother came and called her daughter to a corner warning her to stay away from her wayward ways of life,that she has to stop sleeping around with guys. My friend heard the discussion and still ignored it.
After the first child,they moved down to their home town,she started misbehaving, sleeping around with everything under a man's trouser. She even did it so close that she slept with her husband's friends,the husband ignores it again. She got pregnant the husband said he is not the one who owns it,she give birth he refused to name the child. The wife started frustrating him around the house. The husband was not happy anymore,he started drinking alcohol, sleeping out,scared of going home. He started feeling pain in his chest,he went to the hospital and was told to stop thinking.
Now,the marriage is getting worse and the wife refuse to change. The husband has not touched the wife for 6years now and they live in the same house. I asked my friend to ask her why she's doing all these and the response shocked me, she said the husband as big Tommy and he's fat. I asked my friend how he looks before they got married and he said slim. You see,they both married themselves out of pity not looking out to the future to see if they can manage their individual differences. To understand what they both want from eachother,now the worse in their marriage comes in and they are both misbehaving. The fight is affecting the children in the house. There is an adage that says "where two elephants are fighting is the grasses underneath that suffers",the husband and father are not united,surely it will affect the children one way or the other.
Marriage isn't for everyone. You shouldn't marry out of pity for another person. You need to understand why you are going in for marriage.
Marriage is for reasonable ones who are ready to take all Responsibilities. When you marry for something material, you will end up divorcing each other.