Writing: Helps Me Manage Depression

Growing up, no one seems to really understand me and I don't seem to care. Whenever I open up my feelings, emotional issue and how I'm dealing with this mental health problem to my friends or someone i knew, they just wouldn't listen to me and tell me I was over dramic instead.

It wasn't a big deal, I just laughed and say 'yeah, maybe i was'.

To be honest, It's too much for me to carry and I can't think of any ways to deal with this pain that I've been holding for so many years. I've never been into Psychiatrist to treat my mental illness. Don't ask me about my parents, I'm a product of Broken Family. They didn't know that I have this kind of problem and even if they do, would they even care?

I managed to handle my emotion by listening to a lot of songs by my favorite singer and bands. Too much to mention, I've always been a fan of Music ever since I was a kid.

Letting out my emotion was never easy but i manage to let it out through writing a poem of how I feel.

I actually kept a bunch of poem full with emotions but I'm too shy to share them. But this poem that I'm about to share is

How Anxiety Feels Like

Leigh (Corpsekunno)

All eyes on me Or are they?

Feels like mistakes that aren't mine

Keep blaming myself anyway

I cared too much for the world

And it make me care too much for what they say

My hair, my flaws and how i look everyday

All these jewelries and clothes

Supposed to make me feel secure

And now I'm building up my thoughts

That makes me feel insecure

Make up on my face

To cover up my ugly face

And so I'll be dissapear without a trace

How do I walk? How do I talk?

My mouth full of word but why can't I talk

So afraid to be wrong so afraid to make mistake

'Cause this Anxiety told me everything that I can't take

You're supposed to be my friend, you're supposed to be good

But why do you make me feel that I can do no good

Here comes depression

Here comes another pain

Would you just give me a rest?

My life is no damn game!

Depression feels like I don't care

Anxiety feels like I put so much care

And when they both comes into my life feels like a living hell

I cry, beg for help but no one ever listen

Now I tried to pretend and keep it hidden

I just wanna run and be gone forever

Because no such thing is happily ever after

I am no princess, I am just a mess

I wear black clothes, I wear no dress

I pray to stars every now and then

I don't wanna be locked up in this cage ever again

I wanna fly, and go home to heaven

And scream! "Father! Forgive me but I'm not a figther"

Those dark days, I can't escape

Feels like, I'm in hell burning my own faith

But I have to keep living

I have to keep pretending

I have to hold on my every fears heart pounding

I can't go on like this

I don't wanna pretend my own happiness

I wanna pull myself together

Until Anxiety leave forever.

It wasn't good enough for me to be a writer but, In that ways I always feel a relief from within.

If you ever experience and felt the same way I did. Write about anything. Let your thoughts flow freely because no matter what you write, I know I feel better after I do it and I'm sure you'll do too.

I also have some strangers with me that help me cope with my Anxiety and Depression. Though I don't have Psychiatrist I have my online friends who's dealing with the same issue as I do and surprisingly, we understand each other, we even cheer up for one another.

Even though we don't talk to each other more often anymore, they will always the best strangers that I've known. I'm glad that I found them <3 .

End.

Hello, Corpsekunno here. I hope everyone is doing well, mentally and physically. If not, you don’t have to keep pretending that things are alright, let it out. You’ve been building it up and holding it for so long already.

You don’t deserve that pain in your chest. You can write an Article about it. You are free to let out all the heavy feelings that you keep holding. You can consider me as your friend and friends support each other , I would love to read your stories my friends.

Thank You for Reading 😊♥️