Beautiful Pain: A Letter to My Irresponsible Father

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2 years ago

There are so many times that I caught my mom awake in the middle of the dawn. She always think about the problem. Paying bills and she can’t go back. As a daughter, I can’t help but to feel pity and sorry for my mother. But I am so proud of her, she’s always been so strong and she never show us her weak side. Sometimes she gets tired and I saw her cry. I wanted to help her so badly, but I am still a student and I’m still useless.

I’m still useless. That is what I thought before knowing this platform. I am honestly happy to be a part of this community and these less negativity and just wholesome people, it made me really happy.

This Article is dedicated to my Father. I wrote a letter but I never sent it once to him.

This is the letter I never sent.

Date: August 2, 2021
Title: Beautiful Pain

Dear Papa,

I love you with all my heart and I know you knew that from the very start. You’ve been my hero, my savior, my protector from thunder and rain. More over that, you are also the one that cause me this beautiful pain. I’ve been thinking about you way a lot recently. Do you ever feel the same way as me? 

It’s hard to deal and fight this pain with bruises in my heart. It’s hard to breathe because I love you from the start. It hurts to know that I can rarely see you while your getting older everyday. And our love as a family continues to grow cold each day.

I wanted your answer, I want to know the truth. Do you love us or not? Please tell me the truth. If so, How did we end up here? Is all the memories from the past lost? Why did you completely disappear?

I have all this 21 Questions inside my head. Ever since then, I’ve been carrying this around even when I’m laying in my bed. Why did you leave us like this? Are you that selfish to fulfill your own happiness? 

I’ve seen my mom struggled to raised us and feed us every meal. And seeing her like that is just so hard to deal! You should be the one that responsible for this. But since I’m the breadwinner, sure I’ll find a way to work for this. I’m looking for a way to help mom pay the bills. And where are you now papa? Laying and Chill? 

As I’m writing this letter, I remember all my memories I had with you, I feel my heart cracks into two. But even with a scar, this little butterfly still flew. I feel this Beautiful Pain because of you. 

But I just wanted to let you know that you will always be in my heart. I will love you forever and I can’t hate someone that I love from the very start. 

I miss you. Please come back 💔

Love, your iring ^^

Letter No. 1 : Beautiful Pain

“Iring” which to be translated in English is “Cat”. When I was a little girl, no, actually, even when I grew up. My papa used to call me iring and pinch my noise then chuckles.

“Mura man ka’g iring”-Bisaya


“You look like a Cat” - Translated to English 

I’ve always been a “Papa’s Girl” because he never punished me. It’s always been my mom that punished me and I will always run and hide behind my father’s back.

I wrote this just to express how I’ve been feeling towards my father, this situation that we have is getting even worser. I don’t hate my father but I just wish he stayed. Our life had been a completely mess ever since he left. There’s too much to say but I can’t handle the pain anymore. I’ve dried so many tears so I think it’s already enough.

I am sorry for being so emotional. I didn’t mean to. Thank you for understanding me.

Article No. 36

Thank you for reading and continuing to support me ♥️

Author’s Note 

I can’t handle it anymore. Even if I don’t want to wrote this. The pain in my chest keep burning and every lit aches so much. It hurts.

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2 years ago

Comments

gurl. Ify medyo same tayo ng situation :< broken fam na din kami and may sarili na siyang family sa mindanao. Kaya sobrang struggle talaga kami ngayon lalo na financially.

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2 years ago

Sobrang hirap diba? Kailangan ko na talaga mag trabaho siguro.

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2 years ago

Same thoughts 😭 kaso lang feel ko hindi ko kakayanin dahil na rin sa sched ko ngayon sa ol class tapos ambaba pa ng confidence ko. Skl :<

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2 years ago

Na.hurt naman ako dito.. Masasabi ko din na napakaswerte ko nalang for having a responsible, loving, caring, and supportive Father. Hmm.. As for me naman sis, magiging okay din ang lahat di mo man nakakasama yung papa mo ngayon, blessed ka pa rin kasi my mama kapa na nananatili sa tabi mo ngayon. Mahalin at pahalagaan mo siya nang buong puso sis.

Fight lang nang fight sis.. Tuloy lang!💪 "Habang may buhay, may pag-asa." Di tayo pababayaan nang ating Panginoong Hesus..🙏

God bless you sis!😇❤️

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2 years ago

I can feel your pain and I know what growing up without a fatherly love means, it can be really saddening.

I left home in search of green pasture and forgot his family, the suffering was huge because we didn't have shelter. Life was miserable but we fought through the difficulty and living happily not without him

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2 years ago

I really feel sad. How I wish nothing of that had happened. Just remain strong dear and try to help your mom in every thing or even in your owned little way just to lighten up the burden that she's carrying now. Me and my daughter were also far apart even until now but I have make sure that our relationship remains intact and tried to support her in everything the she do. She was just actually a baby (8 months old) when her mom decided to go back home and leave me here. I have manage to communicate back to her when everything turns okay. I am married man now and have kids aging 10 and 11 but I have ensured that we are still communicating in order to make her feel important to me and to her younger brother and sister too.. and by showing that we love her too. She's 20 years old now.. and thinks of her more often. I Really feel so sad and worried each time I think of her..

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2 years ago

Naiyak ako ng slight kasi same tayo ng situation. Since 4th year nambabae papa ko and yun nakabuntis and hiwalay sila ni Mama. so Ang ending laking Grandparents ako.

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2 years ago

Nakaka panhinayang naman. Dapat always strong tayo! Laban lang 😊♥️

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2 years ago

Oo naman mare ano kaba, tagal nakong sanay tsaka mas maganda nga wala siya samin sakit lang yon sa ulo

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2 years ago

Oh My, he disappear? As in? Walang paramdam or ano paman? Halaaa. But you're Mom is so strong kasi nakaya nya kahit wala yong dapat ay katuwang nya sa buhay. Nakakasad lang talaga ☹️, okay lang yan Bata. You still have your Mom. Fightuuuu lang and tuloy lang ang pakikibaka sa buhay. This ia also good kasi nailalabas mo ung grabing feeling ng hinanakit mo aa father mo tru writing 🤗🤗🤗💙

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2 years ago

Nandun na sya sa lugar nila, sa Mindanao kaya hindi ko na sya nakikita at wala man lang tawag o text. 😪 Hays, thank you nga pala ate ruffa 🤗♥️

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2 years ago

Walang binigay na rason manlang bat di nakauwi? Grabi naman, baka may ganap lang kaya ganon? Nagka amnesia? Grabi, bakit nga kaya 😵

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2 years ago

Nag away sila ni mama, yung family ni papa, ayaw sa mama ko. Hindi sana papayag si mama na umuwi si papa kasi maiiwan ni papa yung trabaho nya dito sa cebu. Pero nagalit yung lola ko (mama ni papa) di na pinabalik si papa dito.

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2 years ago

Ehhhh, bakit ayaw nila kay Mama mo? Dahil di sya Muslim? Diba pag taga Mindanao ay Muslim? Baka dahil doon ☹️

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2 years ago

Di naman muslim, ayaw lang talaga nila sa mama ko. Ewan, sabi nga nila e dapat pinalaglag ako nuon. Pero di pumayag si mama. 😪

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2 years ago

Halaaa, grabi naman sila. Ano ung Papa mo walang sariling isip at nakikinig sa magulang. Wala syang paninindigan para sa inyo. Wae naman ganon ☹️, if he wants naman talaga maaari syang umuwi sa inyo ah.

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2 years ago

Carry on. You can help your mom while waiting for your dad to come back. If he doesn't just continue to hope for the best maybe he has reasons. Don't hold grudges and live on. God bless you.

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2 years ago

Thank youu, God Bless you too @Murakamii.7 ♥️♥️♥️

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2 years ago

💛💛💛

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2 years ago

Write it up and let the letters tell the pain. Sending hugs and kisses 🤗😘

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2 years ago

thankkk youuu pels 🤧♥️

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2 years ago

I can feel your sadness. Be strong. Not just for yourself but for your mother also. If you want to cry, just cry it out loud. Then stand up and continue living your life. I know it's not easy. Just pray and trusts God. Every thing happens for a reason.

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2 years ago

Your comment cheer me up, thank you 😊 I will stay strong and trust in God ♥️♥️

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2 years ago