First Job as a Software Developer, Not So Fast 😭😔💔

Stepping into the corporate scene for me was like venturing into a whole new world. The transition from college to the corporate world was quite something, although this was not my first rodio show, mainstream corporate was quite something and the fact that business was not doing so well, it was a relief to get the chance. Browsing through a popular professional site, one of my connections was advertising for a job to which I had surpassed the requirements, I knew myself and what I wanted so I threw my application on the ring as well. A few weeks later, after I had forgotten about the application an interview invite came on mail followed almost immediately by a phone call from a soft-spoken secretary or so I thought. The interview was to be the next day and with not so well-structured company, I had limited to no details on how the interview structure would look like, but oh well, I was ready for anything and in any case, the worst thing that could come out of it is a no, and my life would still go on.

Interview day was with us, I had been slotted from a mid-morning, I wore semi-officially, with a suit trouser, official shoes and a white shirt, topped with a half sweater and a tie, I commuted to the closest bus stop that I had thoroughly researched on, the building was quite close, so I just walked in from the bus stop. I inquired from the guard on the office direction, he guided me to the reception where a call was made upstairs alerting them on my arrival, and I was escorted via the elevator. looking at the beautiful site of the corporate zone through the glass walled elevator, I enjoyed the scene, and no sooner had I started imagining this would be my everyday than we reached the office floor. I was ushered into the reception who guided me to the waiting area. 

Arriving at the waiting area, stepping into the room, the rather chattery room occupants went silent, I got mixed reactions from the five or so interviewees there, a mixture of side-eyes, giggles, sneers and blank faces greeted me, I however said hi and sat at the last available seat closest to the door. A few prolonged stares but this faded away on my mind as I observed this well-suited individual who looked like he was here to sign the contract already, furthermore, majority of the other interviewees seemed to know and respect him a lot. I remembered this from one of my favorite special forces novels that during Navy Seal selection, there are certain individuals who are highly ranked from years of service and operational excellence, their physique and stature makes them perfect candidates and everyone surrounds them for a crash-course on how to make the cut, forgetting that these humans are here to compete for the same opportunity with you. I sat silently listening to people recapping how this individual is all that and that they were here for formalities especially after seeing this guy. He was calm and collected though kind of proud, reacting with smiles, sneers and two-word answers to interview tips and conversations around him. He oozed an aura of confidence and experience, I picked a few words in the conversation which were more than enough to fill my query search on google and fish out this decorated techie. With a single search, I opened his LinkedIn profile and found the guy, it was not only wordy but intimidating with technical jargons that would scare off to a competitor and paint him as a dream candidate to any hiring manager out there. I however noticed lots of queries on the profile that neither qualified the individual as an engineer who could fight solo or a project manager or a team lead, later on I realized this is a well-crafted public relations stunt scheme to create nonexistent aura of the real deal in the corporate spaces, sadly these are the individuals climb through ranks and no one actually knows what they do apart from being the senior management loud mouth with no solid technical skills backing whatsoever, walking around with Apple gadgets, in and out of meetingswhere their only contributionis iterating other's points and spewing trending corporate jargons and well structured English sentiments that neither showcase experience nor proess, being CC'd in all emails with the hope that they are the bosses mouthpiece and ears on the ground. Three minutes into this PR filled profile and I was like whatever man, and moved on with my daydreaming.

The interview process continued well, we were called in in sequence of arrival, one after the other, they walked in with confidence and came out beat-up after a maximum of thirty minutes at-least, slouching and disappointed, this was the case except for the "highly decorated soldier", he spent less than fifteen minutes in there and walked out shoulder high, laughing and leaving the panelist in stitches as well, this scared the remaining interviewees the more and to others a reactionof giving up already was visible in their faces. Finally, it was my turn to face the "butchers", I walked in with my resume and certificates at hand, from outside, the panelist on the boardroom were not visible, only the execution chair was visible, I walked in, and I saw what must have been the longest board room table in the world at that moment, at its far end sat five panelists looking sharp and serious but not as overdressed as I was. The one in the middle, I assume the lead, had this look of, I have seen it all, and done it all, and we are here for serious work, I gulped. I said hello to them all, they responded, while still standing, I heard, "have a seat please", said a soft spoken lady at the edge of the panel, I recalled the voice, she was the one who called me for the interview. I sat down, another panelist went, "please introduce yourself and tell us about your experience",  I did my introductions, name, academic qualification, experience and conversant stack including what I am looking for in my profession at this juncture, everyone but the man in the middle asked various questions to gauge my reasoning and expertise, finally came the man, he had his laptop on and started reading out the theoretic and practical questions related to this role, a barrage of questions, one after the other rained, I did not flinch but answered them all as they came except for when he opened a can of non-related questions not related to the role but still relevant to my profession; to this, I humbly indicated I did not have an answer but I am more than open and willing to learn, he smiled and the sun and moon concurrently shone.

After the big man's questions,  it seemed like no one else had any more questions for me, "thank you for your time, we shall get back to you soon", the soft-spoken lady responded, the rest had blank faces, I honestly could not read the reaction, I was sweating, but this was as a result of the sweater. and tie, I left the room, leaving one last stressed-out candidate outside, he seemed beat up but braved on. I walked to the bus stop and went my way. During the interview, I had been asked how much I expected to earn earlier, and I indicated the range, a habit I have to date, and is ideally best practice where professionals are involved. Three hours later, the lady called, and this time added the hiring manager on call, he congratulated me on passing the interview and proceeded to make a verbal offer, I was all in, excited and all, I however wondered what happened to the over qualified soul, this I will address in coming blog post. The line manager asked on earliest start date and indicated I would sign the contract then.  A week later, at nine in the morning, I was there, completely overdressed as usual, I was offered breakfast after which I was introduced to a few colleagues including now the strangely now jovial man in the middle and given two contracts’ copies to sign, I was in. After this, the company driver was directed to take me and other colleagues to one of our sites, the chitchat was short-lived 😆it was time to earn my stay, LOL.

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