Misled

I was once a good child with good dreams.

Good dreams of being a gynecologist. I was loved by everyone, because of my happy character and attitude. I mean I always smile to every person and every situation.

I started growing up with the thoughts of positivity. You know that kind of thought that everything will be alright, regardless.

I happily passed through my primary education and everyone believed in my level of intelligence as a kid. They knew I'd make them proud.

I'm sorry for using everyone in this context, I'm just referring to my family and loved ones.

I started high school classes. The same positive thought was running through my vein. Almost all through my high school till the last session when I got the greatest shock of my life.

It was during a maths exam in the second term of my last session as a high school lad, my brother rushed to my school to inform me that my father gave up the ghost, after struggling for 5 days in a coma over a sudden heart attack.

I was just 14, I was So tender, never knew life would be that cruel to a young lad with a lot of unfulfilled dreams.

I tried not to feel different because I have learned and lived to see life in a positive direction. My mum would always check on her other kids but when it gets to me, she'd say I trust you're strong!

That's me!

I still aim at making everyone proud. So I applied to study Gynaecology. I failed in so many trials, till I got admitted into college (university) to study Mathematics.

My dream of being a medical practitioner began to fade. I'm now called Mr. Pythagoras, hahaha!

But recall, I still want to make everyone proud. Well, I came out of college with good grades, a matter of fact, the second-best graduating student in my department. That worth congratulatory right? Oh yeah.

Now, I have made everyone proud!

But after then reality starts to unfold. I started realizing the importance of the father figure. I needed someone who'd tell me how uneasy it was for him to become a man.

I needed someone real, I got tired of the motivational write-ups and books. I started doubting if I was misled by my thoughts of seeing everything on the positive side. All the negative things I overrode with my positive thoughts started fighting me.

Because life became more cruel, after graduating and couldn't find a well-paid job. Being a man feels like a long journey, impatience began to play a huge role. It was nearly uncontrollable. Seeing your mates succeed and living a life you're still dreaming of.

Every young boy at this point could do anything to stay out of this situation. I'm one of those young boys. This is my situation.

My conscience felt sad how my thought became prey to my situation. I was left with a mighty question ' I thought you are strong?' I thought I was hallucinating, but behold it was my mum shouting at me!

She said 'you look so weak' and start to remind me how strong I used to be as a teen. Oh, where is my strong teen?

I felt I was misled!

Misled by my government who couldn't provide good jobs for young graduates.

Misled by my entire community who couldn't look out for each other.

Misled by my thoughts. Misled!

Allowing my negativity to stir up with my long built positive charge, I was misled!

But the best of it all is that I have learned to see from both sides.

When a positive (+) side meets a negative side (-) it breeds the side you put so much in.

Now I see from the positive and the negative sides of life, but I give in more to the positive side, and that has made me a product of positivity.

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