An Extra
Socializing with other people often seems great and all, considering that it can let you stay in touch and form new connections, but I guess socializing isn't for me. It just does not suit my cup of tea. And I would rather prefer to stay in the comfort of my own bed enjoying my own time, away from the noisy and buzzing cliques of people.
I don't really like to be urged by people to go out and hang out with people my age, though I do commend them for thinking about myself. There are times when I would socialize with others, but it just doesn't end well, for me atleast. Often times, I would just stand at the corner acting like a meerkat observing others. Or I would just listen to them gossiping about other people, and hoping that I will not be one of those subject whom they will gossip about. I guess I just thought too much, but yeah.
And everytime I went back home, a thought would always appear in my mind, that I am just like an extra, a side character, and they would be the main protagonists. I often wonder, am I just really an extra whose sole purpose was to make other character shine? I spent several nights agonizing over that single thought.
But during those nights, I just realized that, hey, I may be an extra to other people's life story, but I am the main character of my life. I should not torment myself by those thoughts. I don't like going out, so what? This is my own life, I live the way I want as long as I don't harm somebody else's life. After all, I am the one who manages my own life. And to those who always encourages me to socialize, thank you. I am aware that you guys are only concerned for my own well-being, and I appreciate it😇 Thank you all!!! Although I may not express it usually, but I really am fortunate to have those who care about me😍
A simple wish
To travel free and bask under the warmth is a simple wish of mine😍
To be unrestrained and free of worry, and just roam around wherever I wanted would be such a great joy😌
What happiness is to me
For some people, happiness is equivalent to money. For some, is health. But for me, the word happiness equates to many things. A healthy body, freedom to make own decicions, and appreciating little things in life.
It is important to note that happiness varies to everyone. And happiness for me, are these:
Health
- with health comes happiness, as having a healthy body allows one to do many activities, and enjoy our lives with our loved ones. Being healthy does not necessarily means that one has to only keep their bodies fit by being on extreme diet and straining oneself to build up muscles. Being healthy means having a healthy body, a healthy mind, and a happy lifestyle.
Freedom
-having the freedom to make your own decision is a great deal, as it allows you to venture into your own and have the freedom to choose and make your own decisions. Being responsible for making your own decisions allows you to be careful in making choices and blaming no one for your own mistakes-which helps you to be mindful and not worry that your choices are different from others.
Appreciation
-everything has the ability to make us feel happy in every situation. Waking up every morning, enjoying the warmth of the sunlight, having conversations with family and friends, receiving your own salary, and many simple things that are present in our everyday lives are reasons to be happy about. Appreciate every thing that you have, may it be little things like having coffee with a friend, or bigger things like being promoted. Appreciate those who helped you in the past and those around you. Learning to do so helps you be optimistic and thankful, and have a happy life.
Pop that bottle up!
Emotions are not meant to be hidden and bottled-up, as there will be a time when it will just burst and all your held up emotions will come gushing out.
I wrote this article hoping to share my experience on how bottling up my emotions led to a negative situation.
Emotions when bottled up are like waves in the ocean waiting to rage upon. It's like all the pent-up emotions within you burst in a single go - and it is not a pleasant thing. At all! On my case, I tend to hide my emotions, and not showing other people what I really feel. I'll say that I'm happy, when inside I am not. Or, when asked if i'm alright, i'll say that everythings great when in fact, its not.
How did bottling up my emotions led to a negative situation? Well, its when all negative feeling that I had were directed towards someone rather close to me, like all the nasty emotions just burst out - and it led to a really serious conflict. That person kept on asking me if it's okay or if I really mean it when I say its fine, and I totally just blew up! I said some mean and hurtful things to her and she stood there with her mouth open - clearly in shock- and asked me if what is wrong with me, why did I get mad?
I was also shocked in that moment but all I can think about was how she wasn't able to understand me. We did not talk with each other for a while since then, until one day, I realized that it was my mistake. That I shouldn't had let my emotions get the better of me. I called her and said I am really sorry for what happened and that I didnt know what has gotten into me to lash out to her like that. Fortunately, she accepted my apology and told me that I can talk to her and be honest with her - and that she will always be willing to listen.
What I learned from my own experience, is that it is not good to keep your emotions bottled-up and sealed within you, as there will be a time when your emotions will break that very own bottle that is keeping it sealed, and you may hurt someone dear to you if that ever happens.
"Life is like an ocean,
and we are akin to small pebbles,
where every decisions and paths we take, are the waves,
big or small,
are up to us to make".
@Coffee-and-books
