I've watched enough television to notice that the friendships we see on TV, particularly friend groups, especially adult, male friend groups, are frequently depicted in ways that are extremely different from what they call "real life."
Now, they're not supposed to be realistic depictions of life or to provide us with guidelines and expectations to live by. Even if something is based on reality, it does not necessarily imply that it is practical. It's also being used for entertainment. Maybe it's a form of escape.
If every film and television show precisely reflected and totally embodied my life and sentiments, there would be little reason for me to watch it unfold on TV when I could just keep living it.
That isn't to say that TV series and movies, collectively referred to as "TV" from here on out, don't foster unrealistic expectations about what friendship and romance should be like - the data is clear on this. We romanticize these planned relationships and are let down when they don't materialize in our life.
This isn't me being a special snowflake and claiming that the film business is to fault for my unrealistic expectations and that they should respect my sentiments. It just so happens that while binge-watching, I regularly find myself rolling my eyes and thinking, "oh right, like that would ever happen in real life," and it's entertaining to chat about, so let's do it. Furthermore, none of these is true for every single episode of every single television show ever made.
Everything is forgivable and quickly forgotten.
Friendships always seem to rebound on TV, no matter how difficult things become. Have you ever slept with my wife? We'll figure something out. By trash talking me to the manager, you ruined whatever chance I had at securing my ideal job?
It can be things like persistent passive aggression or jealousy. Still, what is frequently depicted as forgiven and forgotten on television are things that, in real life, would take considerably longer to comprehend and, in some cases, would even cause a friendship to break up.
They can't just stop talking to each other because it's a show; otherwise, there wouldn't be a show, or at the very least, the entire tale would take a different path. What goes on behind the scenes can be pretty sad, but it is more realistic.
The concept here is that we all have, or should have, boundaries in real life. Just because someone is referred to as a "best friend" or "partner" does not mean they can get away with anything. Unless you're watching a rom-com, labels aren't an excuse for bad behavior.
Always there
Yes, we should be there for our friends when they need us, but most of us can't just drop everything and rush over to their place for a glass of wine. It takes time and effort to see each other, and even then it isn't always easy. Plans are rearranged and occasionally canceled as life happens.
On the other hand, what we see on TV are full-fledged adults with jobs, careers, families, and homes of their own, who have all the free time in the world to do nothing but hang around. However, I believe that when you're in your teens, things appear a little different.
They’re hyper involved in each others lives, oftentimes sacrificing themselves and their own well-being to “be there”. And sure, there is a time and place for that in friendships - I’ve had friends drop everything for me when I’ve needed them and I’ve done the same for them.
However, someone who is younger and who sees these shows may get the impression that this is how friendship is supposed to be all of the time. That you should always put your friends' needs before of your own, and that you should risk everything to be there for them no matter what. However, in real life, life does not usually center on our friends.
We have jobs, careers, family, a home, a dog, and even the need to rest and spend time with ourselves, and so in my opinion, prioritising your friends no matter what and expecting them to do the same and being disappointed when they can’t, sounds more like codependency than just being a good friend.
Tell your friends about everything
On television, sharing intimate and confidential information with friends, not only about their own lives but also about the lives of others, such as partners, isn't unusual.
Personally, I don't agree with these TV friendship groups' "we tell each other everything" mindset. Not if "everything" includes other persons whose information should not be shared.
I'm not referring to information that must be disclosed for reasons such as safety. for example, such knowledge should not be kept secret. I'm referring to stuff like your guy being self-conscious about his body or having family problems. However, there are also details regarding private occasions that should be kept between the parties involved.
It's not an indication that you're not comfortable with your friends or that you're not close enough with them if you don't share every detail of your life and what's going on in your relationships; it might simply be a sign that you respect other people's privacy, as one should. That's all for today.
