Raped Death
Attractively she appears always,
Hungrily yearns your heart for her.
Forcefully with her you lay,
Fiercely like a lion you devour her.
In pains and tears to be freed she pleads
But to her pleas you become deaf
And to her tears you become blind
For boldly written on your face is determination.
Beyond imagination you handle her
For your selfish self you try to satisfy
And her organs you damage badly
So badly that she ceases to exist.
Now still and cold she lays under your nose,
Her dreams and career you brought to a halt;
What have you gained from doing this to her?
Oh son of man, what have you gained?
Bitter Herbs At Loving
Happiness changed into sadness
Laugher changed into tears
Am talking out anger
Holding my inky pen crying and dying all together
I can swear I can never love again
I always ask my self was I the one who messed thing up but no its not me
First you a girl pregnant and I still forgave you
You lied to me was I worth it
Then I saw a text in phone but got mad at me I did not understand it
I begged someone would think I was I was the problem
I started loosing my self because of you
I did not eat but sorry I sleep like a baby forgetting the troubles you have given me
I don't want a shoulder to lie on I got my mama with me
Even when I was young had only my mama,I would cry and she would warm me and give me tits haha
Is that funny yeah it is because I don't care
I stopped Caring because no one cares about me yeah I stopped because no one even thinks about me
These are bitter herbs ,bitter words coming out of me
Was I worth it
I wish you had told me you not love me forever
Now I could be in a good position
I could not be hurting ,I could not have scars
I wish I never knew you I could not be in a mess yeah I could I could not be writing poems of a broken seal
I will mend it don't worry I Will
Silent Cry
Let her sleep deep,
Let us not weep,
For she is at her journey’s end,
Left with no memories to mend
And with nothing to hend
To us the memories still hound
With a vivid picture of her being pound
She swore she would never make a sound
In the hope, everything will turn around
And all that will be left will just be a wound.
The flowers he brought made her think with a smile
That everything will be okay it's just but a while
Peace dominated but just for a mile
And once again tears flowed like river Nile
Inside she hurt but to the world she gave a smile.
Flowers came again this time with chocolate
He promised to take her out for a date
Gladly she thought maybe it ain't too late
He told her she will always be his mate
She said they were brought together by fate
He hit her again, this time round he offered an apology
He didn't realize it had destroyed her psychology
Nothing could be done, not even with technology
She didn't wake up this time, we wrote a eulogy
Her perseverance in love led to her demise.
I wish I had given her the strength to speak out
Then may everything would've worked itself out
Things would've happened differently no doubt
then Maybe he wouldn't have brought flowers again
To her grave where there is no gain
Let her sleep deep,
Let us not weep,
For she is at her journey’s end,
Left with no memories to mend
She's found the rest she needed.
Don't Hate Me
If I tell you my story,
Please don't hate me,
If I tell you about my knowledge story!
About unsuccessful me!
Sometimes I feel so low,
When telling my story,
About my background,
About what we take as breakfast!
Am forced to let it out,
Though it hurts me when I tell,
I only see me unworthy,
To my family and friends!
So if it happens I tell you,
About our last born being at children's home,
About me being a house boy,
Please don't hate me!
If you see I killing your vibe,
Force it with me,
Because I can't afford to loose you!
I need you to know me more!
To know about my sick mum,
About how we lost everything,
How we got kicked out of our house!
A story of us being called witches!
*M.a.l.e.sunflower🌻*
*The_Unrated_pencil✏️*
First Love (E)
The ritual was due,
It ought to be undertook,
By him,by they,
He had to see her,
He had to bid her goodbye,
With a gift in hand,
Lots of mints on his mouth,
He quickened his steps.
He knocked,he rung,
He knocked again,he rung again,
On the third knock,
The door was opened,
Opened widely just for him,
He saw his angel,
Her eyes were sleepy,
Alone in their sweet home,
In a top of the line dress,
With thighs half visible,
She was pure sin,
She was total grace,
The paradigm of natural beauty.
He was an amateur,
She was a pro,
He didn’t know when to start,
How to ask,
She took the bulls by the horns,
She led him,showed him,
On their armchair she sat,
Between her sexy thighs he stood,
He cupped her face in his hands,
Crushed down his mouth on hers,
Kissed her with such slow tempo,
Such deep concentration,
Giving her hints of dark and dangerous needs,
Hints of hot blooded urgency,
It gentled,
Left her confused and unsteady,
Left him with a hard on,
He was overwhelmed,
He withdrawn,
Then fled.
What a first kiss?
_First love._
_The platonic king._
Why did you stop visiting your relatives?
Why did you stop visiting your relatives?
Which Profession Has The Most Rude People?
Which profession has the most rude people.!!
Me: **Police**
What do you think?
Poetry
It ain't easy to fix words,
To entertain the world,
To create a smile on a lost soul,
To make someone feel the content.
Sometimes the pieces are boring,
Others can be tearing,
Some are persuasive,
While others are abusive.
You play hard to get,
No one can read your mind,
You're lost they can't find you,
'Cause poetry is your pet.
You write in bad mood,
It becomes an insult to others,
They find it not good for their souls,
'Cause you told them what they don't want to hear.
You know when it's a fair piece,
And when it can't create peace,
You know when to create it,
And when you need to take a break from school it.
It's a job, you need to persevere,
More practice as you prepare,
To make sure it touched a soul,
And make them feel what you are.
The Becoming:
You became.
When you believed you were nothing.
When everything you loved deserted you.
When you crawled out of the abyss.
When the darkness was so great it swallowed you whole.
When failure tried to pinch your soul between its greedy fingers.
When everyone you cared for broke your heart.
This woman that you are today,
You became her by breaking Over and over and over again.
Allow no one to take that away from you.
You are valuable.
You are precious.
Because you built yourself from shards.
You broke to became.
I always scared everyone away.
Feeling bad for myself for being the slave of her emotion.
Its tiring to be thrown from emotion to emotion.
Random Thoughts (Bruises And Pasts)
I was on a road today and I saw places and people and I felt bad for them. These people that I have seen and places I wandered through were in the middle of nowhere and I felt bad because I thought they would never get to see what I have seen..these buildings and cars and people who wear lavish clothes in order to hide their bruises and pasts they can't seem to forget and then it hit me...what did all that chaos bring me...what did those rich and modern people do for me...did they listen? Did they see me beneath my clothes? No they didn't...so if those people form the countryside had seen me...would they envy me? If those faces became witness to my ruthless past and see the mother that raised me would they have felt bad for me in reverse? Would their eyes fill with tears? And maybe ask me...(a homeless orphan)...to maybe come and feel at home among their never ending children and their grasses and their festivals and their dances and their home which I dared to belittle...maybe find me a mom to fix me again...or maybe read my palms and show me where home is...or even baptize me in in their lakes and rivers as Jesus did. Maybe then my wrists will finally be sown shut never to open again and remind me the terrible life I have lived...or maybe they would hide me in the chaos and voices of not my inner demons but actual people who feel at home wherever they are...make me forget the scent of my empty house I have gotten used to for a long time and make the smell of sweat and breath a scent never to forget...and if I dared to ask them to save me pushing all my anxiety and my depression and all my problems down would they help me?even more if they would be happy to help me would I feel at home at last? I don't think so...but I hope I do...so if this piece of writing that holds all of me ever reaches God I want him to know it's time to search for his lost sheep cause she have wandered enough...purposeless for so long...shared enough meal with the devil...said cheers to enough poison and that it's time for her to feel at home... At last.
I Wanted To Forgive You So Much That In The Process I Hated God
I wanted to forgive you so much that in the process of wanting to forgive you I hated God. In the process of wanting to let go of the hurt I hated myself,I cut myself to direct all my hatred towards you back to myself,I stopped coming across you because I would imagine myself strangling you,I locked myself in a dark room and fight to sleep,I sit in the shower for hours to make myself believe that it washes away all of the things that made me cling to that suffering you gave me. And in all that. In losing myself. In living a near death experience. In hating you at night and in waking up in the morning being able to hate you less. In my silence. In my tear drops. In my rotten wrists. In my living corpse. In all my broken pieces I am afraid that if you open your arms to me I will come running back to those same arms that destroyed my sanity. But no matter what happens that hate is engraved in me because you never were there...you couldn't see the suffering in my eyes and because I had to run from home in order to survive...
Rule No. 1- Love Yourself
Many people go through terrible shit in some part of their life and when they come out of it somehow they tend to act like it was all a choice and for me because I have been there through both I hate that idea. I have felt extremely ecstatic and shit sad and knowing that had made me realize that despite how much we try leading a hopeful healthy lifestyle takes too much. So if by any chance I find myself finally getting out of this shit I am gonna try with all of me to help the ones still drowning in the dark but first I need to help myself. Which brings me to another point.
HOW DO WE HELP OURSELVES? Do we just forget bad times like they never happened? Will we heal? Will we forgive? Do we make peace with the past? We don't have a fucking clue of what to do. I guess that's why we can't get ourselves out of the dark because none thought us where to begin. We need to learn how to let go of what makes us sick. For me at the moment asking help is my first step towards the path of healing. It took me self harm...near death experience...years and years of sadness...self doubt...self hate...too much self hate...waste of my childhood and teenage years...losing almost all of me...but for myself and mostly for the ones I love no matter how weak i felt and still feel asking for help is the only choice. No matter what people would say or what my demons whisper through my ears about my choice I will feel a bit comfort in knowing that this time I chose for me. This time I chose to love and fight for me.
Let This Letter Be An Obituary I Never Get To Give Myself
Let this poem be the obituary
I never get to give myself
And a letter to the archeologist who finds my skeletons
Here is what my mouth couldn't speak of
And what my bones couldn't tell you
My bones will never tell you that
I was born from a woman who saw me as a burden
Whose love I second guessed all my life
It wont tell you that
I was born from a man with a soul
As sane as angel
Whose love saved me from thousand deaths
It wont show you
My pierced skin
My bruised thighs
My slayed wrists
My battles
And how
Everyone run to home to find peace and
How I was forced to do the opposite
It won't say a thing about how
I fought a disease which succeded at silencing me
An illness which left me separated from
Society in a cubicle with lives that salivate over death
Whose way of living society fears and pities
At the same time
Whose wardrobe is filled with long sleeved shirts and everything able to dump scars and insecurities in
A group of faces that learnt at a young age
Of how to make pretty shit out of painful shit
It wont tell you how many times
I wiped tears off my chick
It wont show you the bags under my eyes
It wont ever tell you that my path of healing started with suffocating my pain inside a bottle of pills
I was like a puzzle whose pieces were found in different people but noone could put together
I hope that maybe this could help you
So make this also a letter of forgiveness
For the ones I hurt in my silence
To my Daddy
And mostly Myself.
I Need To Know What It's Like To Try to Find Light In The Darkness
Was this going to be easy? Did I for a second think this was going to be as easy as faking a smile? No,of course not. Did it ever came to my mind that I would wake upon a Tuesday morning and be able to do this without any harm done to my soul I had long lost? Was I in a million years ever lost in the thought of having any sort of power that could make me finish this tiresome road I am gonna have to battle (this one much harder than the past)? I do not think I am able. But I need to know what it's like to try to find light in the darkness not only surrendering to it. Most of the time I only let myself feel by that listening to it and doing whatever it asked of me no matter how much it drained me. I always carried the weight as it is...never known what it feels to put even an ounce of it off my shoulder one by one... I have to know. I have to tiptoe towards the healing path. If my second life was supposed to be versatile in his mind...somehow colorful then grey mustn't be the only color he used cause that wouldn't make him no different of a painter. If he is the almighty as they speak of then there need to be more and I NEED TO KNOW.
Loaded Guns And Death
"Love,let me go",she whispered as her voice cracked and tears rolled down her cheek.
"Give me this chance to breath as I die each day to live for you"
"I just want you to let me go. Let me Die. Let me let go. This time Kiss my forehead and wish me a well journey. Let me lie in those arms of yours for they are the only blessings I got from this villain world. Prepare me the poison. It will be the sweetest drink you ever fixed me. Hold my sweaty palms as my hands shake and my body tumbles to the ground. Make love to my vulnerability. Stare into my eyes and unleash your magic. See through my eyes what they can never hide from you. Feel my pain through your gaze and ask yourself if you love me enough to let me go seeing how I have fought enough. You read about love. You adore love. Are you willing to take the risk? If the stars could tell you my longing will you let me go?"
And as he heard those words he bowed down and shaded painful tears. He kissed his lover, made love to her body and got baptized from the ocean of her body's essence as they became one. He chose for her to let go. Cause Love adores. Love smiles. Love wakes up and Lays in bed at night with you. Love makes you popcorn. Love makes you angry. Love makes you sad and makes you wanna shoot yourself. Love also fights for you and chooses you. And because Love is supposed to heal you Love will let go of your arms and passes you back to mother nature hoping the soil will flourish you and he will hold your soul among the cracks of his broken heart and when he wakes up tomorrow and misses you he will find comfort in knowing that wherever his love lies she is at peace...cause peace for the weary travellers is found in over flowing bath tubs...sharp pieces...Loaded guns and death.
Another Session With My Psychiatrist
I have been living with this my entire life. As a child I didn't play much with children. Other children laugh and their heart smiles. I laugh and my heart aches. I always find myself running from place to place without ever having to feel at home. I longed for my mother's arms to be my light house. I witnessed her disgust from her eyes. Bunch of people who seemed like they laughed since never sat beside me in the cold silent house with their dull eyes staring at the ground,later to fall on it seeking happiness till their knees were bruised in front of the almighty. My body grew and became tired of my soul. The cracks in my heart widened. I don't think this depression came now. I think It was always in me. I think it is me. I THINK I AM THE DEPRESSION.
-Yeab T🌑-
To My Saviour
At times I find myself searching for you. Without deeply understanding it I find myself listening to a worship song and I see my inside longing for your arms to hold me where none can and I ache for the love I know I had lost. Some days I want to call out your name...shout till the temple's curtain are torn and everything turns into ash...till all souls bow to your grace seeing how I praise you...witnessing how i speak so fond of you. I want the world to notice and be awed by how I am saved. I look into myself and I watch my soul reaching for you and I envision my comeback to be like never before. Today I fall for your grace and tomorrow when it all downs on me I disdain you and your kingdom. I didn't choose to be that. If it was in my power I would be like the chosen and live on the Green fields but I am just another wanderer on the gate of your kingdom. But know that I love you and that I believe you are the superior of all. And even in my dark days I will hold you in the spaces of my broken heart. You are there in my smile and my anger. You are there in my tears and my panic attacks. You hold me tight when I cry in the dark. You wont run from me because I am somehow abnormally different. You will love your lost sheep not because she deserves it but because you are the greatest love of them all. You will love me because you are love. Because love found a home in you. Because everything about you speaks of peace and happiness.
The Say Write Whenever You Feel
They say write whenever you feel
Feel happy....write joy
Feel anger....write rage
Feel sad....write melancholy
And if ever you stop writing
Watch yourself collapse
Was all this words anesthetic for our pain
Were they supposed to trick us to the thought that we actually healed
When we tore open our wounds in each letter
Deceive our questioning mind with a lie of a never gained relief
Did we know that it's always gonna be like this?
Are we always gonna bleed?
Are we always gonna be thrown from chaos to calmness like a bag of dirt?
Whom none wants to deal with
I don't know
But I know one thing for sure
I know my soul is tired
I know it doesn't have a power to fight for the truth or wait for it
Happiness calmness pain chaos Happiness calmness pain chaos.......
Each day in repeat
My poor soul is tired
Of hoping and expecting
And longing for something
So Oblivious
Something unachievable.
A Promise
A promise
When you love someone,
promise me you will not love them like they are a war and you are the thing that will help them win.
Promise me,
you will not hunt down their flaws like enemies in a battlefield to kill them.
People were not made to be saved by you or anyone else.
All we can hope for in this life is a chance to be able to save ourselves.
I'm Learning To Embrace My Tears
I am learning to embrace my tears.
What I used to look at as a nuisance,
is now a constant reminder
that I feel…
and I feel this world
and all its vastness,
personally, and painfully.
I am empathetic and caring.
I am absorbing and transparent.
I will not be ashamed for feeling
until I am full and overflowing.
My tears are necessary.
They let me know…
I’m alive
~Cleansing
Home
Darling, who told you that home is made out of bricks?
Home is whenever your heart feel at ease and be at peace,
Home is whenever you go to places and in love with the streets,
Home is whenever you listen to the music and jam to its rhythm.
This two-story building made out of bricks,
is a place that shouldn't be burden off your shoulders,
is a place that should you reminisce in joy instead of grief,
is a place that should be a sanctuary rather than asylum.
Darling, who ever told you that home is made out of bricks?
Home is whose eyes were jet black with a heartbeat,
Home is whose smirks feel like summer in winter days,
Home is whose touch melts away even the toughest iceberg.
"Well", you said, "this two-story building made out of bricks,
is a place where I hear more yelling than laughter,
is a place where my dreams died and buried deep,
is a place where I used to shamelessly call as home".
Relationship Tips For All
1-Never get mad over some people for walking out of your life, truth is they were not supposed to be there forever.
2-They were meant to be there temporarily for some reasons and when they were
accomplished God had to take them away to save your heart from future disappointments and pains.
3-Never think that you are ugly, not lovable, cursed and it's your loss. NO! It's theirs. They failed to see the beauty and gold in your heart.
4- Also never hate yourself and even regret anything that you did for them. Just be happy that you gave them your best and you learnt lessons from them.
5- Then thank God for everything and wait for your blessings anytime. Be patient in waiting because God is never late. He is always on time, the problem is that we are always in hurry.
Are we together ladies and gentlemen!!
100% RELATIONSHIP TIPS FOR GIRLS
👇
Sometimes the things that hurt you the most, teach you the greatest lessons in life. These valuable tips below would help every lady build a successful relationship.
1- Never beg a man for things you deserve.
The right man will give you everything you deserve and things you never knew about.
2- Love is not just about finding the right person but creating the right relationship.
It’s not about how much love you have in the beginning but how much love you build until the end.
3- Be with someone who deserves your heart and not someone who plays with it.
4- A man who truly loves you can’t be stolen by another woman. If he leaves you for another woman, then he was never right for you.
5- Never be in a secret relationship with any man. If you have to hide your relationship from the world, then your relationship isn’t real.
6- A man who lies to you isn’t the right man for you. You deserve to be with a man that is honest.
7- Distance doesn’t matter if you truly love someone. What matters most is your honesty and trust for the relationship to work out.
8- Being single is better than being with a man who isn’t worth it. ONCE DATING you have right to quit what doesn't worth dying for.
9- There’s a difference between a man who wants you and a man who would do anything to keep you. Be with the man who would do anything to keep you.
10- Never beg a man who wants to leave to stay.
11- Be with a man who loves you, sometimes what matters someone loving you back.
Heartbreak
I thought you were the one for me,
I guess that I was wrong,
I can’t believe I fell for you,
You hurt me all along,
I feel like I am losing,
Everything and more,
But honestly it’s you,
That has nothing left at all.
The feelings that I had for you,
Oh, they were strong,
But you just let me go,
Like I was nothing,
You said you loved me one day,
Then said goodbye the next,
You act like I am bulletproof.
But I am far from that, I’m sure.
I wonder what I did wrong,
But the only thing I found was that,
The wrong thing that I did,
Was falling for a girl like you,
And getting hurt in the end.
I’ll never be so careless.
I’ll be more aware,
I’ll find a girl that’s true to me,
And isn’t easily scared.
I’ll find a girl that keeps me honest.
She’ll keep me by her side.
She’ll never hurt me like you did,
Or ever make me cry.
She’ll be the one that holds my hand,
And keeps me in her heart.
She’ll love me for who I am.
This is the kind of girl I need.
And this is what I want.
I won’t settle for a heartbreaker
Because I can’t take that pain again.
Cuts, Hope And A Friend
I have a friend I wanna tell you about. You see, this pair of bracelets was a gift from her. She gave them to me. Not because I'm as beautiful as they are. No. She did it 'cause my wrists needed them more that she did. The cuts over my radial arteries. She made sure they're covered. This scarf, is from her too. She ensured the bruises on my neck were also concealed. You see, she knows that all the society will do is ask; WHY?? Questions before answering mine.
Why did you drown yourself yet you knew how to swim? I don't know why exactly I did it either. Worse I don't know how to tell you just how it feels to let the pain drive you; push you over the edge, burn the ability to hold on. How do I explain it to you that, I felt peaceful. I felt like I belonged there, in that situation. Needed to fight for my next breath, yet I let go. I didn't even fight to float, that moment, that second I stopped fighting; when I let me drown, consciously aware that it meant death, that minute, I found PEACE .
I don't know how to tell you am not really an adrenaline junkie. I fear heights. But I am compelled to stand close to the edge of every cliff. Secretly hoping the rock portion I stand on falls off, and I fall with it, bash my head hard, be beyond resuscitation by the time any help comes.
How do I make you understand that I don't walk fast enough across the highway. Because I low-key hope a mad man behind the wheels will run me over, help me snap out of this misery. If ascent or descent follows I don't mind. How do I tell you this thing without having you judge, ask me questions I can't begin to formulate answers. You see, my friend, she's always there. She holds my hand and never leaves me by the cliff alone. She does not exactly babysit me but she reads me good stories, makes sure I don't scare the life out of myself.
She ensures that my social misfit self is not the talk of the hood. She guards my self-esteem. She may not know but she's sometimes the reason I fight. Fight to live today when I feel the need to die. Fight the urge to not fight for my life.
But she is my imaginary friend. One that makes me do things for me on her behalf. She that every suicide survivor or suicidal soul wish they had. Look here, the social does the kill. We're just the tools. We do not need to explain. We so badly need you to understand. It's us, because right now I know am not the only one. Understanding us might be the prophylaxis we need for this condition.
Please help us, to keep the life a little longer.
#HELP_BY_STOPPING_THE_PREJUDICES!
As Written by Jackie Wawira
Broken
I don't know much about you,
But I miss you.
I miss pointing letters out to you.
I still wonder why you can't read up my mind,
The way I really had to open up everything for you.
I know poetry is not about love,
But I miss your love in every piece I write.
The thought of loosing you got me lose myself.
I love midnights, because they remind me of you and how we used to be.
The last time I took black coffee, it tasted you,
Because you were close.
And every sip was worth the moment.
It was warm to my lips,
The way I always felt the warmth holding you in my arms.
Yesterday my cup was cold and it never tasted the same!
I heard them saying that, at the touch of love,
Every man becomes a poet.
But this ain't working out on me,
Because from the moment you left
I've fallen for these words
And I've started pinning every letter on my wall
It's from this loneliness,
That I learnt I can broadly speak to vowels,make sounds, and have a one on one conversation with articles,
And make Ann an art from listening to her stories
I'm afraid to invite my friends to my room,
I don't know how I will explain to them that it's no longer a living room, nothing beats life here.
I don't know how I'll tell them that it's no longer a resting room, because of the way I have turned it into pages.
Its a living poetry where I got books and pages to write
I've been addicted to fiction, rhymes, metaphors and how to make a chemistry solution, to every letter.
*The Dream chaser*
Overdose Temptation
She was too irresistible for correct notions to erst in my mind like the splashes of the sanguine as the sun rises in the morning
I couldn't break free from her chains of good evil seduction
The word seduction, was written nowhere on my experience book
And so i was a puppet tamed by her beast of lust
A Woman with an irresistible body
she was all bad except her body that was made in such a great shape
Coming down on me like a thousand bad sheep
Stripped wool for fantasy knitting and spinning
Her milky teeth smiling at me shunning and killing the odours of a bad breath
Pushing me slowly toward her demise of life filled with her heart beating wrath
With hers, alluring me to sight see too much of her beauty piercing through my soul
All i saw
Was a blow knocking me out with seductive tours
I was in her show
In the midnight
Her show started with the rare glares as i was down the hall
Biting her lips slowly and smoothly waiting to devour my body like a ghoul
When she opened her door of numerous good emotions on me
My heart raced like U.F.O
It was a McLaren car speeding up on her pavements of affection
Her shampooed hair waving left to right and right to left coming slowly like a gift from a poor man
Throat numb and dry from her killer actions i was shy to dive in her and die below
Her stripped chicken doted skin shinning with vaseline across the hall
I was waiting to attend her meeting
A C.E.O of the seduction company
Wishing to be employed besides her company
As she was besides me
My hairy stood still to salute her royalty
It was a kiss that flooded my pants and killed my soul at once
And it was all it took for me to know
*Seduction*
The End
@Clintbling
