At times I find myself searching for you. Without deeply understanding it I find myself listening to a worship song and I see my inside longing for your arms to hold me where none can and I ache for the love I know I had lost. Some days I want to call out your name...shout till the temple's curtain are torn and everything turns into ash...till all souls bow to your grace seeing how I praise you...witnessing how i speak so fond of you. I want the world to notice and be awed by how I am saved. I look into myself and I watch my soul reaching for you and I envision my comeback to be like never before. Today I fall for your grace and tomorrow when it all downs on me I disdain you and your kingdom. I didn't choose to be that. If it was in my power I would be like the chosen and live on the Green fields but I am just another wanderer on the gate of your kingdom. But know that I love you and that I believe you are the superior of all. And even in my dark days I will hold you in the spaces of my broken heart. You are there in my smile and my anger. You are there in my tears and my panic attacks. You hold me tight when I cry in the dark. You wont run from me because I am somehow abnormally different. You will love your lost sheep not because she deserves it but because you are the greatest love of them all. You will love me because you are love. Because love found a home in you. Because everything about you speaks of peace and happiness.