Promise Of A Brighter Tommorow

Mary Jane was a good girl gone bad. Not bad as in the way of anything major in her mind like hard crime or even petty crime. Heck, she'd be mortified if she were caught stealing something as petty as diapers from the 7-11 store despite the fact she badly needed some. But bad as in trashy, as in hooked on the three worse things to crush a life; booze, drugs and sex. She'd fallen into a cycle that was spinning out of control. Seriously far from that place in her heart where she wanted to be, and the self-realisation one sober Sunday morning over breakfast as to where she actually was! That distance between the two was such a mighty chasm ot doom and regret and shame, she just sat there and cried. She was seventeen and this was her life now. No aspirations any longer, no hope and no true love in her life. Her parents had disowned her at sixteen when they found she was pregnant and thrown her out. She'd quit schooling and got herself a job before she started showing but the guy, he was dust on the horizon. She pleaded for her parents to take her back, but they wouldn't. "They'll soften with time" her best friend Lindy Lou Lithgow had purred in her car to soothe her, but they never did even after the baby was born. Now here she was rock bottom, sitting at a friend's table sobbing her heart out.

Baby started crying too. He'd picked up on her misery as if he were the sole cause. The thing was, she hated that baby for his blue eyes that reminded her of his Poppa the gutless boy who couldn't and wouldn't help support them. But she loved it too, as it had been a reality check for how low she'd fallen. Two junkies raising a kid wasn't something she wanted, and when he left she knew she had to get her act together if she wanted to keep the baby. At first she kicked the drugs and then the drinking. Finally the sex tailed off anyway even though she'd hoped to find a new baby daddy before it was born. Life wasn't perfect like that. After quitting the booze she wasn't in the bars and clubs, and no guys found a baby bump on a sixteen year old attractive enough to fuel their desire. "Hun, you're upsetting the kid," Lindy Lou said as she touched her arm in commiseration. She'd been a good friend to her when her parents had not. Hell, her bad ways had seen off most ot the good people in her life. Only Lindy Lou and her bOss Mary Myzcek at the local diner had really stood by her whilst she screwed up trying to get her life back on track. She straightened up and put on that fake smile she graced the diners with. "It's okay,I got it together, I'm okay now," she said half heartedly, wiping the mascara from her racoon's ass eyes. She knew she looked a mess. She felt wreck, and exhausted, damaged, spent. But the minute she picked that fat pale baby up to soothe him, turning the blue eyes over her shoulder so as not to see, the feelings changed. She never once regretted having him, he made her a better person because she wanted to improve herself for them. But the weariness and the sense of failure stayed. Mary Jane needed to get it together. She needed out. Now.

Once again Mary Jane apologized to her friend. "Oh Lindy Lou I'm so grateful y'all made us feel so welcome." "Hush now darlin', what're friends for but to help out in tough times. Are ya sure ya wana go South? You're welcome to stay as long as y'all like." Mary Jane knew she couldn't impose on her friend any longer. It was causing a strain on her own relationship, as the boyfriend didn't like having her around. She thought Lindy Lou was hoping tob encourage him to ike babies and then maybe propose, but it had seemed to have had the opposite effect. No, she was best off sticking to her plan or else face being in purgatory all her young adult life. Nothing was going to change whilst she was in her own backwoods town. Her history weighed too heavy in the community and she was tired of folks saying to their children, " now do as I say or you'll end up like that girl."

So Mary Jane Beccham, only daughter to the local Reverend (pillars of the sweet Alabama town), left for good. She'd known happiness here once as she drove past the school, and as she crossed the border she was crying tears of genuine sorrow. She was too much for the locals to handle, and too strong willed to listen. She'd thought she knew it all and they'd proven her wrong. But she was coming away with one positive thing from the whole fiasco. He was sat in the back seat in his baby carrier watching her. She looked in the rearview mirror and wiped the tears away. " y'all think I'm a crazy Momma for the way I act around ya. Good times are comin' child, we're leaving for good." He smiled and bounced in his seat whilst waving his little blue squeezy pickup truck Mary her old boss had bought him. "I'll be alright my love," she said in a rare bout of positivity, more to herself than the baby. Then she thought on all the hardship she'd faced, all the random acts of emptiness and self-loathing she'd willingly put herself through. She'd felt empty then, but not now. She'd gotten her act together and a little money together. Her parents still hadn't asked to see her, but she didn't mind. She needed a brighter start. A do-over tor her and her child. This was it. This was the start of that journey and the road to somewhere better.

And as Mary Jane let loose her frustration and anger of the past by stepping on the gas pedal, her car zoomed down the road. She wound the Window down and let the fresh country air in. It was beautiful sunny day but it was raining out. So free and better did she feel with every mile along the lonely road out of town, that she let out a happy "yahoo!" and punched the air out the window. Her baby laughed in delight. He sensed her mood again. She felt good, hopeful and was on her way to relatives in another State. She can run away from that girl she was, she can make a new start. She'd always remember the lessons her behaviour had taught her, and maybe it'd make her journey into motherhood easier for knowing them. She'd already done so much to improve herself and her situation. Now she had to build on that. It was never too late tO start over and re- invent yourself. She had to give her baby boy a name. She'd hadn't done so yet, and she hadn't wanted to get him named in her Daddy's church. As she drove she thought on it, and announced each idea to her offspring to gauge his response. This felt good she decided. And the positivity in her grew. Just then she started to believe in herself. She could do it. She could be anything. She may meet anyone, but it was her and her sweet baby boy. He was her family now, and that unit could only get bigger. But if it didn't it wouldn't matter, they had each other, and genuine love.

As she drove along she started noticing the amazing surroundings. The forests extended here for hundreds of miles and shot up straight to the sky. They had great long slender trunks of grey silver reaching up to the bluest sky. It was the dark blue of a calm deep sea but with a promise of something more. A promise of a brighter tomorrow is what that shade was. It was the same colour as her boys yes and she smiled. That's how she'd remember that shade as she looked into his cute little peepers. And as she drove a rainbow formed and hit her windscreen with its multi coloured light. It was like some magnificent sign from the Universe. And inspiration struck and she knew his name. It was perfect and for the first time in a long time her heart lifted with genuine, undiluted happiness. "How do ya like the name Bow?" she asked her dear little chap. She was beaming with joy and he yelled his approval with tiny chuckles and manic bounces. "I guess that's a yes then." And she drove that car toward that brighter tomorrow at full speed, eager to make it's acquaintance. Keen to start over and achieve something in her life. She had precious little. She'd lost some family but she gained some. Family wasn't just flesh and blood, it was her friends too who'd stood by her when others hadn't. "You make your own family," she said to Bow from behind the wheel. And darned if he didn't agree with her, as the light glinted from those gorgeous blue eyes that reflected his inner joy at his Momma and the pretty colours flooding their car.