Growing up, I never realized that life could be this hard. I am now in the middle life crisis situation, and I never thought that this situation could be this hard.
When I was young, I always wanted to be free, and I even wished to be at some place where no one can control me. I never wanted to be controlled nor be told of what to do.
I wanted to be like other kids who are free to do what they want. I thought of a lot of things that I never knew could be different from what is the actual reality.
I am now at the age where I wanted to go back to my childhood, where all you only worry about is the studies, and what games to play with your friends. I can now appreciate my time before where technology is not that dominating, and life was just simple.
I thought I did not have the best family before, and now that family is gone. At this very moment, I just want to simply go back to the old times where I always smile, and have nights where I can sleep tight and well.
Right now, all I can do is look back from the past and figure out what I can do to overcome this crisis that I am facing ahead of me. Prayers is always a good armor for this, but I hope that I would have someone to lean on at this moment. My family is gone, and my old friends are slowly fading away.
All I have right now is myself and no one else.
Life is indeed wonderful, I just do not have eyes to see that right now. All I can see is just a glaring light that prevents me from focusing on things that I need to focus.
I know all of these are just a temporary feeling. I only hope that I will soon wake up from this not so nice nightmare.