Continuation of our discussion!

What determines happiness?

What we believe would make a huge difference in our lives actually, makes only a small difference, while we overlook the true sources of personal happiness and well-being,Sonia Lyubomirsky.

I suspect that we are being socially conditioned to believe that the wrong things will bring us lasting well-being. Modern society seems almost to orders to be happy but scientific evidence shows that we are often off base about what actually brings us happiness instead of momentary pleasure. As a result, we sometimes work to make things happen that don’t actually make us happy. The most common error is that we assume that positive events, be they career, money, physical appearance, fame or victories by our sports teams, will provide much more happiness than they really do which keeps people striving for more. They might be important but only to a certain extent: money buys freedom from worry about the basics in life – food, shelter, education and health. When the basics are met, the excess of money doesn’t provide a permanent increase in happiness. Why is it so hard for us to believe that money doesn’t make us happy? Because the truth is that money does make us happy. But our misunderstanding is that we think it will bring us a lot of happiness for a long time, and it brings a little happiness for a short time. Meanwhile, we end up ignoring other more effective routes to lasting happiness. Knowing what is important in our life, knowing our life purpose, we can tailor our activities, and the time and energy we want to spend on each of them.

An interesting research study has shown that about 50 per cent of happiness is determined by genes (out of our control), about 10 per cent is determined by circumstances (somewhat out of our control), and the final 40 per cent is determined by our thoughts, actions, and attitudes (entirely within our control). If this is correct, it means that we have many opportunities to increase or decrease our happiness levels through how we think and what we do in our daily lives.

We tend to assume that circumstances play the biggest role in our happiness, but they play the smallest part (if our most basic needs are met). Most of the times we try to change the circumstances thinking they are the main factor that will bring us happiness but we grossly underestimate the extent to which changing our thoughts and behaviours, can significantly increase our happiness. This is because of the so-called ‘hedonic adaptation’ or becoming rapidly accustomed to physiologic changes, which makes us happier only for a limited time.

All of us could be much happier if we trained ourselves in what we think and do. That would give us a sense of contentment, serenity and well-being. We do not know the limits of human potential to grow and adapt to changing circumstances but happiness makes us realise that change is possible because we can control what we think, feel and do.

What are the benefits of happiness?

Across all domains of life, happiness appears to have huge positive effects. It boosts our energy levels and fortifies our immune system; our engagement with other people and work increases; our productivity and creativity soars. Even life expectancy increases tremendously for those who live happier.

In becoming happier, we also fortify our feelings of self-worth, inner contentment that increases the sense of self-confidence and self-esteem. We come to believe that we are worthy of human beings and success is possible. When we become happier, we benefit not only ourselves but also our partners, families, communities, and even society.

Some may think that living life based on finding happiness self-centred by nature. Not necessarily, it depends on how we do it and what we focus on. Unhappy people are those who are mostly self-centred, socially withdrawn, even antagonistic or destructive.

Happy people are generally found to be more sociable, flexible and resourceful. They are more able to tolerate daily doldrums and turn negative into positive situations. And, most importantly, they are found to be more loving and forgiving than unhappy people.

We know that happiness is the Precursor to success, not the result. And that happiness and optimism actually fuel performance and achievement. Cultivating a positive mindset makes us more motivated, joyful, resilient, creative and productive and drives us forward.

How to achieve happiness

Identifying one’s state of mind is the first step in achieving happiness.

Just like external situations, some are very useful, some neutral and some harmful. The first thing in finding happiness is learning about the positive and negative emotions and behaviours that can be helpful or harmful to us.

Happiness is in the doing, not only in the result.

To achieve lasting happiness we must be ready to embark on a longer journey, adopting new daily practices that require a constant effort until they become the new habits. By being focused on enjoying the daily rituals, using them as tools to enter a state of flow, we create a positive mindset and change starts to happen. It’s important to have a meaningful challenge to overcome in order to maintain that flow.

Some of those practices include training ourselves to focus on positive states (love,

compassion, kindness) and refuse the negative ones (hatred, jealousy, anger); nurturing and enjoying relationships with family and friends; expressing and receiving gratitude for all we have; genuinely helping others and accepting help; being optimistic and savoring life; making physical exercise a daily habit and connecting with nature; living in the present moment.

All these things require awareness, strong self-discipline, willingness to take risks and be ready to face pitfalls because change takes time and constant action.

How to Be Happy

Happiness is not the result of bouncing from one joy to the next; researchers find that achieving happiness typically involves times of considerable discomfort. Genetic makeup, life circumstances, achievements, marital status, social relationships, even your neighbors—all influence how happy you are. Or can be. So do individual ways of thinking and expressing feelings. Research shows that much of happiness is under personal control.

Regularly indulging in small pleasures, getting absorbed in challenging activities, setting and meeting goals, maintaining close social ties, and finding purpose beyond oneself all increase life satisfaction. It isn't happiness per se that promotes well-being, it’s the actual pursuit that’s key.

Conclusion

In a nutshell, by practising new ways of thinking we set the foundation for inner transformation, which means replacing our negative conditioning with positive conditioning, forming new neural circuits.

We create happiness in how we think, behave and what goals we set every day.

So! Don't let anything or anyone steaal your happiness.

I'll be so much happy if you shear your own thought in the comment section.

Kindly do well to like, comment and shear. Still my Humble self

©Chris