I know life is hard and full of sorrow and pain. You think that it's unfair to be in the situations of yours. You are full of negative thoughts and vibes such as jealousy,envious,hatred,loneliness,sorrow and terrified. You don't even believe yourself the only thing you know is you're worthless. But that's your mistake.
In this world, as time passed by, more sitiation,problem and people you'll face on. You will discovered a lot of things whether its a good or bad thing. But you must always put in your mind that in this chaotic world you can only rely and trust yourself. Love your own self.
Even your friends,family and love ones doesn't know the whole you, because you only know yourself better than someone else.
So what if your not better than in this field? so what if you failed in it? so what if you get tired of all this things? just so what? why do you need to acknowledge the way how people thinks of you? The only important thing is that you know what you want for yourself and your enjoying doing it.
It's okay to feel tired and take a rest. Its okay to envy and jealous with someone achievement because it's one of the nature of people. No one is perfect. Everyone makes mistake the only different is how you will deal with that mistake. You may not be better in that field and you may failed a lot of times but the important thing is that you didn't give up. You have your own strengths that others can't do. You just need to believed in yourself that you are unique and have something that others can't have.
Everything has a reason. Everyone also have reason on how they live their lives. Don't focus on what others say just enjoy your life and try to make those achievement of other people be your inspirationnto continue your life. Because I know that each of us, while walking in our own path, we all have an different ending in each end of the road.