I Am Guided, And Hope In Me Have Come Alive Again.
I have the leisure to think about my plans in life these days and that's why I can't get myself to interact more here these days nor be active on any social platforms. One scroll, just replying to messages, and nothing else. Even writing is out of my interest. No matter how hard I try to persuade myself that I have to grind more, I can't bring myself to it. Maybe, this was the effects of living alone and just confining myself within the four corners of the room. I'm not too fond of engaging with other people outside. My usual cheerfulness online and offline has left me to just drown myself in my own wonders.
Procrastination has gotten into me also. I just feel like lying in my bed all day that even eating doesn't interest me. When I have the chance to go out to accompany someone, I took it, or else I'll just bore myself to death. Yesterday, my cousin invited me to come with her downtown because she wanted me to accompany her in applying for a job. She is a first-time job seeker, then it's kind of understandable for her to feel anxious about the process.
Image source: regencytransportation.com
It's been a while for me also to apply for a job and I don't have a good memory to recall how was my experiences in applying. I applied to some BPO companies back then but I wasn't lucky enough to get hired. It just gave me trouble with trauma in applying to such kinds of jobs. Interviews are already a pressure, how much more when you are doing the actual job?
It's not just to entertain myself by means of accompanying her but also to gather knowledge of the process when applying, the requirement that they are asking, and clues about what kind of questions will be asked at the moment; either they are hard or just basic. It's a relief on my part after her application. All my questions are answered and justified. Now, I know how it works because I have to know it before I could act alone since anxiety would get me if I don't know what will become of me without any knowledge of the consequences.
After that, I joined her at a friend's farewell party. I don't them but I'm still not in the mood to go back first. I just join their fun instead, and happily joined their conversations. We were full of Carbonara and Coke when we finished eating, then they just chose to watch movies and picked a Comedy genre since the girls are not a fan of Horror.
I have learned that their friend's partner is a Restaurant Manager at Greenwich. My cousin was asking in a joking manner if their friend can recommend her but her friend immediately agreed with her. I joined the inquiry also and she agreed. We just have to send her our resumes. She will just print it and pass it to the branch. I was overjoyed with this opportunity. However, there is one thing that made me think twice about if should send an application or not.
Early in the evening yesterday, my cousin who is a TESDA Scholar messaged me if I would still pursue the Caregiving Training. It was the one that I gave up because I already have spent my allowance for it when I went back home to the countryside during the wake and burial of my deceased uncle. The photo above is the requirements which he gave.
I gave up the idea of the training when the College sent me an email about the entrance exam's schedule which will be held on Monday.
I soon realized that even if I take the exam or apply for the Caregiving Training Scholarship, it still can't give me a guarantee that I can be enrolled either way. I have to try my best to try those two choices and just let fate choose for me where will it leads me.
God indeed never forsake me. He is always there guiding me and I just to learn how to be patient. I almost lost my hope of pursuing the training and being qualified to enter college but he never ceased to guide me. He is always giving me a lot of opportunities to guide me on where to go and what to avoid. Now I just have to wait patiently for where would this lead and let my heart be the judge for what will I pursue.
The lead image was edited in Canva.
The photos included were mine unless specified.
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