Can't forgive my self if something bad is happen to him

This morning ,my brother in-law told me that he can't take and fetch my son to school.Anyway ,we get him as a service for my son going to school and fetch after school .Because he asked our help ,he needs to pay his monthly payment for his motorcycle as it is not fully paid.So we agreed on it and its our help to him too.

But he told me he can't take my son to school because someone asking him to drive amd ofcourse a huge payment than ours and it was for two days.

So ,my husband take our son and drop in his school.Around 10:15 ,I asked my mother inlaw and one of my brother i -law that I will left my 3year old son to th coz I fetch my eldest son.

My brother inlaw offered himself to fetch my son but I insist that I will be the one as I need to buy something ,I will buy a sanitary pad and I feel embarras if I will ask h to buy it.

I need to get also the money I borrowed from my younger sister ,I cash out it from my co-parent which live near at school.

My son's class will finish at 10:30am ,so I went there 10:15 coz I need to walk for 5 minutes and need something to buy.

Without my knowledge ,something was happened.

When we are on our way going home ,one of our nieghbor asking me if who watch my son and I answered my inlaws and then she said that my son went to the road ,oh my God ,I feel shocked so I quickly run going home together my eldest son.

When we got home ,I called my mother inlaw asking where's my baby ,I saw him sitting while eating a biscuits.

Then I told mama about what happened according to our neighbor.We are a little bit far from the barangay road .

I was crying when I learned and got nervous ,good thing that nothing was happened to me.I keep blaming my self and can't forgive if something is happened to him.

My inlaws did'nt know that my son was already in the road ,good thing that we residing in a mountainous area wheres only a few of vehicles is passing by but still I got nervous and so worried thinking the what ifs.

What if theres a snake on the pathway ,what if he was fall in the creek ,what if theres a vehicle and hit, my God I don't know what to do.What if some bad person will get him?

Thanks God that he is fine ,I am so thankful that God guide him.Its a lesson for me not to left my son .

And now ,I am thinking what to say to my husband for sure he will get mad on me 😢😭

And that would be all for now ,thanks for your time and have a great day.