For the nth time, you’re haunted by your past full of tragedy. But this time, everything that surrounds us feels like it is composed of pair of ears to listen, eyes to witness, heart to empathize, and mouth to keep shut. You’ve finally spilled the cup of revelation.
My eyes just stick to yours until they pull out my strength due to your thorny words resembling that pain that you’ve endured and embraced when your love was still pure. Communicating with your teary brown eyes paves the empty space on my mind, a space that still waits for an answer. You’re total hurt that even your softest heart had turned into a cold rock. Would you mind to please melt your frozen heart beat? Let me in.
Focusing in you, slowly invisible arrows struck in my back with multiple stabs on my chest. You were cheated. Yes, you were before. Not just once, but twice. You’ve shown them your gentleness and faithfulness. But those stuffs turned into ashes of heartbreak. You became empty. You ended up with nothing but vomit of lies they’ve kissed. You’ve provided your glass of trust to them but they’ve put sharp knives in it. Because you’re blind of their flaws, you’re tempted to hold their blades. So from that day on, you were drained. ‘til now, you’re bleeding.
But what made me want to bear concrete nails in my heart is when you’ve uttered, “I’ve given my full trust once, but she cheated on me. Her mouth was full of lies. Then, I fell in love with someone. I’ve embraced the one-sided love with her but still, I was failed to. Now that everything inside me was drained, I don’t know if I could still offer my full trust because I am so done.”
Breath-taking indeed. I am burning inside. Love, what am I to you? What are you trying to say? That I don’t deserve you? That I am not worth fighting for? That you should not be blinded with my flaws? That at the end of the day, you will be left cheated and wounded?
Love, I am no beauty. I am not wealthy like faces that you adore most. But I am here to love you. If this is wrong, tell me. I wouldn’t leave you, I promise. But Love, if I am not good for you, I would just kill my heart and let my feelings for you be drained.