In the late night, I was stirred by the rumbles of goofy dogs down the street. Rebelliously freezy hair and teary eyes, I went out to retort the ominous sob of those animals. Purplish black was all I see in their eyes as I watched the pace of an old woman wearing vintage dress with a straw sun hat on her head.
Dazzling eyes, ruddy checks having a basket of memorial lilies. She’s looking for the vengeful ghost who used to sway her legs while sitting on the branch of an acacia tree. But it’s been 18 years since the tree was uprooted. She’s always been a signal of bizarre at exactly 8: 45 in the evening. All of a sudden, the old woman had waved ‘hello’ at me.
I asked her, “What is the purpose of still giving such flowers to those who will face afterlife? Were they aware too that you’ve given them a token?”
The old woman didn’t utter anything but her naïve smile. Finally she had met the ghost and offered her a memorial lily but as she was giving the flower, the ghost had transformed into fire and ashes.
I then asked myself, “Why do people used to throw flowers on the dead in a graveyard? Was it hard for the dead to carry bunches of flowers washed with tears and sorrow while sleeping permanently until he/she will be decomposed? I think sleeping under the moon tree is totally a form of relief for the wind could only throw a single leaf, little by little would fall down my chest. “
Unconsciously, I was dreaming of a person who I’ve met three years ago. I saw him lying under the starry night sky with his one-sided love. In that place, he was really in bliss because of the most precious thing. He was really in love. But when I met him for the first time, it seemed like he was physically dead like the old withered tree. Was he eluding my presence because he thought that I couldn’t bear to change the phase of the dead tree, to change the phase of love he had since his past love was buried? Can I give him memorial lilies too? He’s actually not but he’s dead.”
But it felt like I was too. He killed me even if I am still alive.
I felt this ❤️