Have Lost a Loss

I’ve lost one of my sentiments. I’ve lost my token of worth---my wallet. One of the cheapest yet one of my precious stuffs. Though it didn’t keep any amount of money even just a single centavo coin. Did anyone steal it? But for what reason? Only my ugly faces were left inside plus my only love---you. And…and a hidden letter for you. Yes a letter for you. I was about to lose my strength when ashes from the past had blown into my mind. I should have given you that letter supposedly last April 16, 2019. That was the day after spelling the tea of your confession. I could still remember every sharp word that you’ve uttered. “I love you but I love her more, still and always be her.” So I asked you for my final verdict. It was written inside the letter every clutch I’ve done just to save you from hurt. Inside it, I’ve crafted how precious you are to me. You were, you are and will always be precious to me.

You have no idea how I’ve endured the pain while kissing your one-sided love. How I’ve embraced your broken bones while continuously adoring the one who would never give back the love you’ve withdrawn as what I’ve done for you. We both were bleeding. I was bleeding because you. You were bleeding not because of me, but because of her. At that moment, I decided to just let go of you, to just let go of my love for you. Because honestly, loving you helps me face death. Loving you means creating storms and disasters. For I could no longer ease my own scratches. You’re not my only wallet, because you’re one’s luxury. You’re too expensive for I couldn’t afford to, to even love you. I couldn’t even take you to Toronto to catch autumn leaves.

I’ve lost my dash of green colored wallet, can I lose you too?

But thunder of consciousness awakened my dying soul warning me to fulfill my engraved promise that I should stay by your side no matter how many pails of blood you could ever bring. I love you as you love her.