“It feels like I’m abandoned in an endless desert.”
Before, I reminded myself that being alone is just drinking a cup of tea without adding glucose. It’s quite strange, yet healthier. But now that I’m a grown up woman, the bitter the drink, the more toxic. The optimism on my head was totally buried just because of the poisonous piece of glass that hit my right eye.
Being a visually impaired is worse than a curse. Closing and opening my eyes feels like my whole sky is burning for darkness is where I live in. Wealth and power that clothe me is just an ordinary blanket of greed, making people around me open the door of evil. That blanket doesn’t give warmth to my decaying body. To me, money is not enough for the real warmth.
Take a look at me, man, do you think a human might have three feet? Can’t you see, I am physically fit but it feels like I am just a room of dust, feeding my heart with emptiness? And it tortures me when the sun turns into red for it only slaps me that I am nothing but a burden to anyone else’s life; I am a burden to you. Right now, being alone means abandonment. But better than receiving pity. I am not lost actually, but I just want to be found. I wanted to feel warm, to be loved.
So if you would ask me to cross an endless desert alone, please just let me die. Let me die with my shadow.