Old age is a strange, blunt foe. And it fights dirty. It isn't fair.
It’s never too late—that’s a mantra we all live by. We're taught that we must have everything figured out as soon as we reach adulthood—a foolish lesson birthed from insecurity rather than logic- being seen and being heard is never too late at any age.
Why am I not seen?
Lois discusses old age and how she was once on a bus, and she didn’t know where she was.
"At first, I started noticing it years ago when I turned 62, this matter of "old." Little things. But, little things add up. It was the bus ride back from the funeral just a couple of months ago that did it. I was waiting. I was on the bus for sometime, and I was waiting for my stop, and an hour goes by, and then two, until I'm the last one on the bus. Just me and the driver. I look out the window and I don't recognize the streets. And finally, the bus turns into a parking lot, the bus depot. The bus stops, and the engine cuts and the lights turn off. And I didn't even say anything. I just sat there. I sat there until the driver realized, he... he was walking off the bus when he noticed me. He jumped like I was a ghost. "Oh! Didn't see you there," he said. I didn't see you there. How unfair. I paid my fare. Took my seat. But how unfair not to see me. How unfair not to know that I have things inside of me, too. I...I have things I feel and I say and I think and I know. I...I have funny jokes sometimes. Really funny jokes. Jokes that hosts would use on their shows if they knew them. Yeah, I'm bold in that way. And I'm wickedly smart. I mean, sometimes I think of things, you know, inventions and things that if I had the time or the money and...and, heck, I'm sexy in here, too. I'm sexy. I could put on a red lip, I could put on some rouge. I could dance...and love and excite and need, and deserve and exist and...and I am a person.
That's what I wanted to say to say to him; to the bus driver, on that cold bus, in that cold bus depot.
It's what I wanted to say but I just said... (scoffs)"I'm sorry. My fault. I should have been more 'seeable'". And he told me not to worry, that these things happen.
But why do these things happen?
Should age define a person, or diminish respect from others? Why was she overlooked, because of her age? Was it that she was an unwanted outsider? Was it that she was invisible? Would you say she partook in her own invisibility by withdrawing into isolation?
So: If nobody sees you, are you still there?
In a society that idolises your and youth culture, it can be difficult to understand and address the challenges older adults face. When we are young, imagining what our lives might look like when we are older is practically incomprehensible. As a result, the needs of older adults are not well understood by the younger population. The experience of feeling invisible can be shocking and painful, but having the support can help to positively navigate this time in a person's life.
I am scared of the time I will be old too but what I know is that I will do good so as to expect something good too.