Motivation in the midst of uncertainty

I'm sitting in my chair, gazing aimlessly at my laptop once more. As they have been for several days, my ears only wanted to hear the deafening silence. I'm puzzled as to why this has suddenly become my life.

Nobody ever told me, and I never imagined life could be this miserable. It seems like just yesterday when I was playing and having fun as a little kid at home. Back then, it didn't seem that there were any bad days. I think about and reminisce about the naive joys of life now and then. I wish I had snatched my childhood memories with both hands instead of letting them slip away like a thief in the night.

I understand that I am still young and that I know much too little about life, but there is still so much to explore and learn. And I'm not sure why I'm experiencing these emotions. I am worried about my future, I am not confident with myself, I have lost my will to live, and there’s a lot more inside my head. Some may argue that these are just common concern that we face on a daily basis. However, we are unique individuals with distinct characteristics. It is possible that what is difficult for me is easy for you, and vice versa.

Nevertheless, in times like this, I just want to give up and vanish so I don't have to deal with it anymore. But I was reminded that "Life is essentially an endless series of problems. The solution to one problem is merely the creation of another." Mark Manson said that in his book entitled The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F*ck, which I have read recently.

Hence, I will not allow this challenge of life to defeat me. In our lives, we may not like and understand, but we are all confronted with situations and circumstances. And I believe that there's a reason why we go through different kinds of trials in our lives as humans. It's possible that this is a part of life to shape us and to make us stronger and braver.

And thinking about the people I love who also are there for me, gives me some comfort and consolation to know that I am not alone in my struggle. Having them beside me is enough. I’m not asking them to help me because this is a battle mine and the only person who can help me is no one but myself.

Ultimately, I am well aware that I repeat these words over and over again. Some people may already be irritated by my reiteration of all of these points, But I will keep telling these things to convince myself that I can, I will and I must win this battle. I know you can do it too. You should fight too.